Monday, May 9, 2011

The Ideal Muslim Woman II - Sh Faisal

Women in Islam: The Ideal Muslim Woman
Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
(evening dars 4.08.11)

THE DUTY OF A WOMAN
--Hanbali fiqh: the only duty of a woman is to fulfill her husband’s needs
--most women do not agree
--they do not have to cook, clean, etc but they must fulfill their husband’s needs

16 portfolios of Muslim Women
1. She has to be a good wife
a) when he looks at her, she pleases you
b) when you command her, she obeys you
c) when you leave the home, he protects her chastity and your property
2. She has to be a good mother
-you become a real woman only when you become a mother
-you need pious children to pray for you when you’re in the grave
-you need kids to increase the ummah of Muhammad (saws) so he can be proud of the number
of his followers
3. She needs to be a murabbee (a teacher)
"The best woman (wife) is the one whom, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, when you are not in her presence she safeguards herself and your belonging. Ibn Majah, 1/595/ Kitab al Nikah, Bab Haqq al- Zawj.
-she teaches the Sunnah way of doing things
The Prophet said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples by you. Sunan Abu Dawud, 11/2045
-she brings up the kids with proper Islamic tarbiyya (upbringing /character building)
4. She needs to be a nurse
-kids will get sick and get hurt, she needs to look after them
5. She needs to be an economist
"Choose carefully for your seed. Marry those who are equivalent (or "qualified") and give to them in marriage." Ibn Majah and others and Sahih.
-you need to be careful with household expenses and not be wasteful
-the wasters are the brothers of the shaitan
6. She needs to be an arbitrator
-to be a proper wife and mother, she needs to side with the haqq to sort out disputes
7. She needs to be a skillful politician
-needs to distribute her love evenly between the children
-do not show favoritism
-sibling rivalry-> the story of Yusuf (as)
Verily, spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatîn (devils), and the Shaitân (Devil Satan) is ever ungrateful to his Lord. (17:27)
8. She needs to be a psychologist
-need to ensure her kids are not suffering mental issues
9. She needs to be a motivational speaker
-encourage her kids to do well in school, etc...
10. She needs to be a good cook
-Fatima wanted a maid; Rasul (saw) gave her the tasbih
- maid is fitnah and maid is vulnerable
11. She needs to be a bread-winner (sometimes)
-if the husband faces difficulty in finding employment, hen she helps out
12. She is a law-giver
13. She is a law-enforcer
14. She keeps house and herself clean
Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, "All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock." Al-Bukhari
Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Cleanliness is half of faith (Book #002, Hadith #0432) Sahih Muslim
15. She is a spiritual leader
-wear hijab, prays 5x daily, fasts in Ramadan
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "If I had not found it hard for my followers or the people, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Siwak for every prayer." (Book #13, Hadith #12) Bukhari
-a woman will usually be like the environment she comes from so see if she is coming from a
broken home she should have been taught Islamic tarbiyya
-you should not open the door to strange men (the worst is the brother in law)
The Prophet (saws) said, "The brother in-law is death" (Bukhari & Muslim)
16. She should be a sociologist
-she needs to be able to give her kids social skills
-some kid’s characters are repellant because their parents did not give them social skills
EXAMPLE: HASAN AND HUSSAIN
-Hasan / Hussain were youth of good character when they saw an old man doing wudu improperly; they said, “I will compete with my brother to see who can do it better; they taught the man how to make wudu without any hurt to the old man.
-some kids speak to an adult the way they speak to their peers because their parents did not teach them better
EXAMPLE: James Bulger
'James Bulger suffered multiple fractures: Pathologist reveals two-year-old had 42 injuries including fractured skull. Jonathan Foster reports’
-if you give your kids social skills: they fit into any environment and good manners
-a real Muslim woman needs to be able to impart these skills to her kids
The Rasul did not give Fatima a maid, because maids can be a fitnah
In Laudium, South Africa:
A Muslim family had a maid and the maid opened the door and let in thieves to come in to rob and rape the Muslim woman in the home; so maids can be dangerous and a fitnah
Sometimes the man of the house has an affair with the maid
Fatima asked for a maid and the Rasool (saws) refused her - say “Allahu AKkbar” 34x and “alhumdulillah” 33x and “Subhan’Allah” for 33x (Book #035, Hadith #6577) Sahih Muslim
-when the kids want some thing, they play their parents against each other
-you have to be united as a husband and wife
-you cannot contradict each other, so as a couple you have to be united
-otherwise, you’ll confuse the kids
THE MAN IS SUPPOSED TO HELP HIS WIFE FULFILL THESE 16 PORFOLIOS
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger. As for these, Allah will have mercy on them. Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. (9:71)
EXAMPLES:
The Rasul said any man who has 2 daughters and looks after them, and brings them up Islamically, and marries them to pious men -- they will be with the Rasul (saws) in Paradise
--this applies with one daughter as well
Aisha hid behind the back of the Rasul, when Abu Bakr raised his hand to hit Aisha
-The Rasul said 'this is a family affair'
-therefore a good man will never gang up with others against his wife
Prophet PBUH said : Abu Bakr is like Jesus: soft / Umar is like Moses: harsh
There were rumors about a woman having an affair...when the woman was called to Umar, she was so scared, that she had a miscarriage. Ali advised Umar to compensate her (and the compensation was 5 camels);
Allah's Apostle said, "Waihaka (May Allah be merciful to you), O Anjasha! Drive slowly (the camels) with the glass vessels (women)!" Bukhari, 73/182

Islam makes it easy for a woman to enter paradise
Ibn Hibbing narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam) said, “If a woman prayed five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.”
Whenever a woman prays 5 times a day, wears her hijab, fasts in Ramadan, and protects her private parts and obeys her husband: she shall enter Paradise from any door which she likes
Ibn Hibbaan narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam) said, “If a woman prayed five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.”
WOMEN WHO GO TO PARADISE:
1. Any woman whose husband was pleased with her
2. Any woman who gives birth, her sins are forgiven
3. Any woman who breastfeeds her baby, all her sins are forgiven
4. Any woman who dies during childbirth, all her sins are forgiven -- she died a shaheed
5. Any woman who was patient when her husband took on a second wife, she will go to
Paradise
6. Whenever a woman satisfies her husband’s sexual needs, she gets baraka
Her husband’s marrying another wife is regarded as a test and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): [Source ” This Hadeeth was classed as Saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 660]
If the man asks his wife to come to his bed and she declines, the angels will keep cursing her until the morning. Muslim
The Rasul said, if it was halal for someone to bow down to another, I would have commanded women to their husbands
REASONS A WOMAN IS PERMITTED TO REFUSE HER HUSBAND:
1. If she is menstruating
2. If she is bleeding after childbirth
3. If he abuses her physically and verbally
4. If he refuses to maintain her financially
5. If she is fasting in Ramadan
6. And if the man apostates from Islam
If your husband refuses to give you money to go shopping, he losses his conjugal rights
--his sexual rights
--if a wife is disobedient towards her husband, the husband does not have to give her money
THE HIJAB OF A WOMAN :
--the hijab of a woman is compulsory
--if a sheikh says otherwise, that sheikh is a kaafir
--he has made up his own Islam (Hislam)
--the hijab for a woman is known to Islam by necessity
--hijab: covers hair, ears, and neck

NIQAB:
--there is fitnah among scholars:
--the correct opinion is that the Niqaab is Sunnah
--the hijab is the ultimate liberation for the woman, because
--it means that you have to respect and honor her not because of her physical assets
--because of her education and piety
In the west, a woman needs to display her physical assets to be recognized and accepted
but not in the Islamic State; in Islam, we accept a woman for her piety and education
The hijab is a statement -- “I wear the hijab because I obey ALLAH”
--it’s a statement of her acknowledging ALLAH's hakimiyya
--when some woman came to Aisha (ra) and they were not dressed properly
--Aisha said these women do not believe in Surah Noor (the Surah for the Hijab)
--you cant have a Hijab and there were tight jeans -- you have to have a jilbab
It is haraam for you to leave the house without Hijab and Jilbab
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed. (24:31)
THE CONDITIONS FOR THE JILBAB
1. should not be too thin for you to see through it
2. it cannot be a loud color such as pink or yellow, it must be a dull color
3. the Jilbab should reach the ankles
4. The jilbab should not be tight (it should be loose)
5. The jilbab cannot have elastic in the waist
6. The jilbab should not have a belt around it
ALLAH has cursed the woman who wears the belt of the jilbab
"If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. (Sahih, reported by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn Awfaa)
The hijab and jilbab are political statements:
--they mean you believe in the Shariah
--they’re also spiritual statements:
--that ALLAH is the Lawgiver
THE ETIQUETTES OF HIJAB AND JILBAB:
When you wear the hijab and jilbab, you are not allowed to smoke cigarettes while in it
You are not allowed to enter pubs
You are not allowed to cinemas that show naughty movies
You are not allowed to flirt with men
You are not allowed to go to daylight discos or midnight discos, nighttime
In the time of the Rasul, the hypocrites used to make indecent proposals to Muslim woman
they use ask them for sex, so these Muslim girls said 'how can you corrupt me, I am your Muslim sister'
They said we did not know you were Muslim women
Therefore ALLAH revealed the verse:
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. (33:59)
The hypocrites were checkmated by this ayat:
--they could not claim ignorance anymore
--no more indecent proposals could be made to Muslim women
Hijab and Jilbab come with etiquettes, it’s not just the clothing
--You are not allowed to raise your voice
--It’s haraam to scream and shout; you are not allowed to swear
--You are not allowed to stick your middle finger up at people
--because you have to respect the hijab and jilbab
Women in Islam: The Ideal Muslim Woman
conclusion (May 9, 2011)
By Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
HIJAB:
Surah Nur :31 and 33:39
--why did Allah (swt) sent the ayat down to us?
--the sisters were being approached for zina
--the sisters would say, “Please don't corrupt us” but the brothers would say:
--“we didn’t know you were Muslim women”
--they looked like every other woman
Those who convey the Message of Allah and fear Him, and fear none save Allah. And Sufficient is Allah as a Reckoner (33:39)
--so covering with hijab and niqaab and jilbab protects women (not hinders them)
O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. 33:59
--this is so Muslimahs are not annoyed or molested
--kaafir men like to molest women
--in UK, a kaafir man molested a Muslimah
--he was killed afterward
--it was said the murderer of the man who molested the sister was said to be:
--a student of Shaikh Faisal, however, Shaikh never knew this man
--Caliph Rashid’s grandson, Mu’tasim heard hijab was pulled off a Muslimah
--so he wrote a letter to the Romans and said:
--"You will not see my response in this letter but on a battlefield"
--he led the army himself to retrieve the honor of just one Muslimah
--a kaafir will pull the hijab off a Muslimah or they will ban it
--they don't like the clothing of righteousness
--you need a Caliphate system w/ a strong army to protect Muslimahs
--Muslim women will always be abused by the kuffar if we don't have these things
--the 1st thing a kaffir does to disgrace the ummah is to rape Muslimahs
REVIEWING SOME RULE OF HIJAB and NIQAB:
--when you leave the house, wear hijab and jilbab, not just in trousers
--must be over the trousers (do not show the design of your body)
--jilbab goes OVER jeans; don’t wear jeans by themselves!
--the men who allow this are still jahil (fathers, grandfathers, husbands, and such)
--jilbab and hijab are fard
--they must be thick, not transparent (not attention-getting)
--no pink or yellow or bright colors
--no belts
--no elastic in the waist
--jilbab must be to the ankles
--Allah curses women who wear belts
THE HIJAB IS A SPIRITUAL STATEMENT: IT TELLS WHAT YOU BELIEVE
Many brothers ask Shaikh, “Does she wear hijab?"
--it’s very important to a pious brother that a potential wife wears hijab and jilbab
--it is a statement of her taqwah
--Muslimahs were defined by our actions (covering)
--do not take hijab for granted
THE HIJAB IS A POLITICAL STATEMENT: Allah (tala) is our Law-Giver for our taqwa
--Aisha (ra) saw some sisters who were not covered and said
--these women do not believe in Surah Nur :31
Surah of the Hijab: And to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women 24:31
Surah of the Sword: And fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief and polytheism: i.e. worshipping others besides Allah) and the religion (worship) will all be for Allah Alone [in the whole of the world ]. But if they cease (worshipping others besides Allah), then certainly, Allah is All-Seer of what they do. (8:39)
Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of war, to strike terror into (the hearts of) the enemies of Allah and your enemies and others besides whom ye may not know but whom Allah doth know. (8:60)
--this ayat is often improperly translated as "threaten" - it really means "terrorize"
--let's not please and appease the kuffar by improper translations

Improper translation: And make ready against them all you can of power, including steeds of war (tanks, planes, missiles, artillery, etc.) to threaten the enemy of Allah and your enemy, and others besides whom, you may not know but whom Allah does know. And whatever you shall spend in the Cause of Allah shall be repaid unto you, and you shall not be treated unjustly. (8:60)
--we must translate properly: this is why Shaikh studied so long in Saudi to learn Arabic so
well, he can translate for himself
--dodgy aqeedah comes over if not translated properly
--"black mud" is proper translation (some other translations leave out the word "black")
--hama is “black mud”
Verily We created man of potter's clay of black mud altered, (15:26)
--Shaikh will not put his deen in the hands of another man: so he will always translate the
Qur'an himself
And indeed, We created man from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud. 15:26
STORY OF BILAL PHILLIPS WIFE:
**Jamila Jones went to university in Saudi to become fluent in Arabic so she could translate herself; wanted her deen not to be in the hands of others who’d translate Qur’an for her
ETIQUETTES OF HIJAB
--can't smoke while wearing it
--can't flirt
--not to go to disco dances
--or swear
--not to raise fingers up @ people
--not to raise our voices
HIJAB IS NOT JUST A CLOTH - IT HAS ETIQUETTES
And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass." (31:19)
Luqman said to his son: be moderate in your steps and lower your voice:
--the most disgusting is voice of donkey
--can't go to cinemas where there are naughty movies
--can't go to a pub or brothel
YOU MUST RESPECT YOURSELF: HIJAB IS RESPECTFUL BUT NIQAB IS EVEN BETTER!!
~~A SECRET YOU DIDN’T KNOW: NIQAB INCREASES THE LIBIDO OF THE MAN~~
--when you cover a beautiful cake, you salivate for the cake
--likewise, men can salivate for their wives
--Indians in the Amazon are impotent. Why?
--there’s nothing is left to imagination because women wear naked
NIQAB FORCES MUSLIMAHS TO BE PIOUS
--the kaafir are jealous of your niqaab and hijab
Many of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) wish that if they could turn you away as disbelievers after you have believed, out of envy from their ownselves, even, after the truth (2:109)
--the kaafir wants you to apostate because they are jealous because niqaab protects you
--a prostitute can wear a "mini-skirt" but she is not charged a fine but piety is fined
--they allow acts that are “fawahish” (shameful)
--the fine is $500 USD ... the Europeans loves lewd acts and shameful, fawahish acts
--they will let you have girlfriends but not multiple wives
--they don't understand morality so they allow zina but not nikah
--sisters are envied for their izza
--they tried to use cartoons to take away Muhammad (saws) izza (his honor)
The Sunnah of Muhammad (swt) is the easy way out
Aisha said the Rasool (saws) took the easy way out: Hadith
Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you. (2:185)
Whenever Allah's Apostle ordered the Muslims to do something, he used to order them deeds which were easy for them to do, Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 19
Aishah, radiya Allahu 'anhu, who said; "Whenever the Prophet, salla Allaahu 'alaihe wasallam, has a choice between two matters, he would choose the easiest, unless it is sinful (act)" [Bukhari].
HOW THE KUFFAR DISHONOR WOMEN
1. they put them in pubs and discos 1/2 naked to serve alcohol to drunks
2. they use naked bodies of women to advertise
3. they use naked bodies of women on billboards
Allah tala said in Ta-ha the Qur'an was not sent down to cause the Muslims stress
We have not sent down the Qur'an unto you (O Muhammad ) to cause you distress (20:2)
--we are between materialist and spiritualist
--to work and feed your family is an act of Ibaadah
Example: when Umar saw the man in the masjid praying he asked who feeds his family, but was answered his brother ... so Umar said his brother was better than him because he fed his family; there’s a fine line between being a spiritualist and a materialist.
4. they put naked women in magazines
--kaafirs will pimp their mums
5. they use naked bodies in dirty DVDs
6. they use women in dirty websites
7. they put women on drugs for free so they’ll perform lewd acts to be pimped
NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH
8. they commit zina then sell the story (zina = sex outside of marriage)
Lady Diana was a victim of this as her lover sold his story (James Hewit) to the tabloids
Dodi al-Fayed (her boyfriend) was Arab so he didn't sell their story (he has proper manners)
--the kuffar are spiritual empty, morally bankrupt and ethically perverse
9. a kaafir man is not circumcised so he's not better than a dog;
--he causes women to die from cervical cancer
--don’t marry your daughter to a kaafir
10. women are victims of date-rape
Rasool (saws) said if you're in khalwa with a man, the 3rd person is the shaitan
--khalwa = seclusion
--“date-rape” is taking a woman no a date then raping her (having sex w/o her permission)
--at the age of Shaikh Faisal’s student, they should know fiqh ul waqi:
--fiqh (laws) of current events, so know what “date-rape” is
--some men want to pretend that while they're doing Dhikr alone w/ a sister, they can touch their private parts = THIS IS A LIE
Muhammad (saw) said, “If a man and a woman are alone together in an isolated place, then the third is Shaitan.” Bukhari
11. some men are freeloaders; living off women

WEAKNESSES OF WOMEN
1. Women can be ungrateful (this is in Hadith)
2. Some are disobedient to their husbands
Rasool saws would have wanted women to bow to their husbands (Hadith)
--if you know you're disobedient, stay single!
--3 women are killed in UK every week because of these women
--some brothers would not even bother to get married if they didn't have jimaa (sex) needs
--Why? Because so many women are disobedient!
The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. Bukhari 1:28, Narrated Ibn 'Abbas
If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
3. Some flirt to test if the man in their life is jealous
"They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them to you” (Sahih Bukhari 1.28, Sahih Bukhari 2.541)
--why do you flirt? Your husband might have a short fuse!!
--don't compare what you have w/ other women: appreciate what you have
--look on those beneath you so you say alhumdulillah
4. They like to gossip (ghibah)
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allaah has given them over them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood.
WE CAN GLORIFY WOMEN BECAUSE THEY WERE SOME OF THE FIRSTS: to embrace Islam, to be fighters, have the most knowledge (Aisha) .. but Shaikh must tell us the weaknesses, too
--Shaikh Faisal uses many Hadiths to teach us because he memorized many of them over 8
years of university
--Each Shaykh explains Hadith differently
--Each has his own personality come out when he teaches Tafseer
--Imam Bukhari had over 1000 Shaikhs
--knowledge is lifted up now; difficult to come by
--Shaikhs are an endangered species
--Amir bin Laden is not the only one; they are targeting Anwar al-Awlaki
--no difference between black and white kaafirs = a kaafir is a kaafir !!!
--this is not race but AQEEDAH
--women can't keep a secret because they like to gossip (ghibah)
Men can keep a secret:
--they have something to prove
--they don't want to disgrace their selves
--in Caribbean culture, they ask ARE YOU A WOMAN? (if you can't keep a secret)
EXAMPLE
--a sister asked Shaikh for a character reference for another Shaikh she wanted to marry
--he gave the character reference and she TOLD EVERYTHING SHAIKH FAISAL SAID
--he has bad experiences w/ sisters
--sisters just can't keep secrets ..
SOMETIMES THEY TELL A SECRET ON PURPOSE; TO CREATE FITNAH
5. Women are spiteful
--women like to sit and talk about their bedroom secrets
6. Women reveal their bedroom secrets
--all women do it (kaafir and Muslimahs)
--they talk about things they should not
--do not compare your jimaa w/ another sister
7. They look down on others
--women like to look down on each other (what they wear and such)
"On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?"
You who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith (49:11)
--Allah tala said, Don't look down on other women” See: 49:7
--flirting and gossip are done by men, too
--the Rasool (saws) passed by 2 graves:
--one man had urine on his trousers and the other was a gossiper
--people use you for your $$, contacts, zina; then they dump you
8. Envy
9. Love for the dunya
--she's unable to make hijrah
--majority of followers of Dajjal will be Jews and women!
--be he will give you the dunya
--they can't leave daar-ul-harb (same and Prophet Lut's wife)
O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allah), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (64:14)
“The Dajjal would be followed by seventy thousand Jews of Isfahan wearing Persian shawls." (Muslim)
--some sisters try to migrate
--we can't paint all women w/ the same brush
10. unable to keep secrets
11. when you have 2 wives, they want to discuss w/ each other
--men are not to discuss wife A with wife B
--we're not permitted to discuss each other's co-wife (ie two wives discussing)
--polygamy doesn’t allow (men) to discuss their co-wife
--its a recipe for disaster !
--they should act as if they only have one wife!
Narrated by Hazrat Ibn-e-Umer, Prophet said, “Dajjal will stay in the saline land ‘Marqnaat’ while most of the womenfolk shall approach him. Even so that a man will tie-up his wife, mother, daughter, sister and aunt with rope fearing that they might not conjoin with Dajjal ….” (Ahmed Vol 2)
12. when they married then divorced (many times, then they discuss their ex w/
--the present husband!
--do not discuss your ex-husband
--don't compare your ex husbands as to how they performed their salah, their taqwah and
--especially do not discuss their jimaa behavior
13. women can be treacherous
The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that."
Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
--you have a PM w/ a woman here on PT, then they copy / paste to another woman
--men discuss their jimaa life with others, as well, not just women do
14. women like to play-off one man against the other
--part of jealousy
-- they mention another mans name in the house often
15. insecurity
16. immaturity
--marry a woman who is mature w/ taqwah
O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. (4:19)


PROBLEMS FACING MUSLIM WOMEN
1. Physical abuse
2. Verbal abuse
3. Forced marriage
***There’s a difference between arranged and forced marriages:
--arranged are halal
--forced are haraam
More problems facing Muslim women:
4. Lazy husbands / freeloaders
5. They have kaafir husbands
--married them before they were practicing
6. Live in loveless marriages
BEST THING IN LIFE IS A HAPPY MARRIAGES
The prophet said: "Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal." (Reported by Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)
7. Snap divorces
--HANAFI FIQH: India and Pakistan
--they allow 3 divorces in 1 sitting; new Hanbalis say that is just one divorce
8. Fitnah of university campuses
9. Banned from their masjid
Aisha (ra) is quoted in a Hadith to say women not permitted to go to masjid
The Prophet (pbuh) said: Do not stop your women from going to the mosque and their homes are better for them.” [Hakim in his Mustadrak vol.1, p.209.]
10. Apostate parents
11. Incest
--sign of incest is children playing but one girl sitting off by herself, starring into space
--do not abuse a Muslimah; the father of the girl can kill you
12. Abandonment (by her husband)
--haraam to leave women hanging
You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (4:129)
13. Rape
14. They've become "old-maids" (basically a Saudi problem) - cut off age for 35-40
--father's place too many restrictions on the nikah
--too much dowry is required by fathers and (even in Saud, the women)
--lobola is the word for “dowry”
--they want $10,000 USD for dowry
15. Some mothers become slaves to their kids
--so they neglect husband
--"a slave will give birth to the master"
16. Ungrateful husbands
17. FGM (female genital mutilation) especially in poor and African countries
--this is surgical removes part of her genitalia so she does not conceive a baby
--or receive enjoyment from zina (sex)
--this is haraam
--Rasool (saws) did not perform FGM on any his 4 daughters
--He (swt) is our best example!
Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah." And whoever takes Shaitan (Satan) as a Wali (protector or helper) instead of Allah, has surely suffered a manifest loss (4:119)
That the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress and master....Muslim, 1/1
QUESTIONS and ANSWERS after the dars
Q1: Does a wife have to have jummah in her home for prayer all the time?
ANSWER 1 - best place is in her home but go to Salatul Jummah on Friday
Q2: My husband said that it is fard to do Sunnahs and Witr after Isha salat, I was always taught that it was sunnah, not fard, is he making this bidah?
ANSWER 2 - YOUR HUSBAND MADE UP HIS OWN RELIIGON; HE IS MAKING SUNNAH FARD
Q3: I often worry about my husband’s harsh treatment towards our children, especially our daughters. He doesn’t give a balance and I worry about the psychological effects of our daughters with men…how can I handle this?
ANSWER 3 - YOUR HUSBAND LACKS PARENT SKILLS - HE NEEDS COUNSELING
Q4: How can a wife show patience with husband’s short temperedness and harshness?
ANSWER 4 - they have no sabr; he needs counseling
Q5: can some 1 get more rizq by marrying the second wife? Will ALLAH give him more rizq?
ANSWER 5 - the best of men are those w/ the most women [Hadith]
Q6: What will be the case of a woman who married 3 Muslim husbands such as Asmaa bint Umays...which husband will she be with?
ANSWER 6- THE WILL BE WITH THE BEST IN CHARACTER
Q7: Please can you give the evidence for not paying tax in UK if u have a business?
ANSWER 7 - See Surah 60:8
Q8: I have come to not like my husband, I still treat him kindly and give rights but his behavior is making it very difficult to deal with… it is haraam to stay with someone I do not like? Counseling has not worked…..
ANSWER 8 - THE PROPHET (saws) spoke to the husband and asked him to do khula (no chemistry) and faskh (evil character)
--with khula, you get no dowry back; with faskh, you do
Q9: should a woman studying in the medical field wear the hospital uniform if it is compulsory?
ANSWER 9 - DESIGN IT TO COMPLY SO IT’S SHARIAH compliant
--they are many Muslim women who work in jobs in the medical field who’ve been allowed to wear jilbab to work
Q10: can the Internet can be the khalwa? how do we handle it ?
ANSWER 10 - KHALWA when you're alone where zina can take place
Q11: How can a revert sister who lives in the west who’s children are soon to be teens keep her children in the deen and away from haraam influences?
ANSWER - TAKE YOUR KIDS TO A HALAQA SO THEY CAN STUDY WITH OTHERS - INCREASE THEIR ISLAMIC EDUCATION, CHOOSE THEIR COMPANY, FILL YOUR HOME W/ ISLAMIC CDs and DVDs, magazines, and books
Q12: Will you be able to do a live dars just for Muslim teens about the trials they face?
ANSWER 12 - insh’allah, we’ve done this before and called it,
CHALLENGES FACING THE MUSLIMS YOUTH”
Please see that lecture here: http://www.kalamullah.com/faisal.html
Q13: -In the Qur’an, there is mention of believers….Who is it referring to?
ANSWER 13 - BELIEVERS ARE ONLY THE MUSLIMS
--not Christians or Jews: if you don’t believe in Muhammad (saws), you’re not a believer
Q14: Is it a necessity to follow a 'Madhab’ ?
ANSWER 14 – WHAT IS A NECESSITY IS THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE A SHAIKH TO SHOP AROUND TO TELL YOU THE CORRECT OPINION
Q15: what is the difference between 'daar al harb and 'dar al fitnah'?
ANSWER 15 - DAAR UL HARB IS WHERE THEY ARE OPPRESSING MUSLIMS, THERE OR ABROAD ....
Q16: Shaikh, u have told the women how to find a husband, can you please quickly tell a parent how to find a good wife for their son?
ANSWER 16 – YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER MUST HAVE CHEMISTRY W/ THEIR MARRIAGE PARTNER; ONLY CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS PIOUS AND HAS THE PROEPR AQEEDAH; DON’T’ COMPROMISE THESE POINTS
the prophet said: "Marry! For the best of this ummah are those with the most women." Collected by Al Bukhaaree in the book of Marriage, chapter: Plurality of Women [no. 5069].
Q17: I use to listen to Bilal Philips ..I notice u mention him a lot of times ...what is ur stance on him??....can u also plz clarify the initial animosity b/w the prophets wives twds Saffiyah (convert from Judaism)?
ANSWER 17 - BILAL PHILLIPS HAS THE CORRECT AQEEDAH .... I’VE SPOKEN TO HIM PRIVATELY AND I CAN ASSURE YOU, HE HAS THE RIGHT AQEEDAH
THEY WERE SUSPICOUS OF SAFFIYAH BUT WHEN THY REALZIED SHE WAS REALLY A MUSLIM, THEY WERE NO LONGER SUSPICIOUS
--she dreamed that the sun landed her in her lap and was interpreted that she’s marry the Rasool (saws); others wanted to change the qadr in her life
Q18: Shaikh, I know that a sister shouldn't marry a brother in prison, so should a sister divorce her husband if he goes to prison ?
ANSWER 18 – IF SHE HAS NEEDS THEN SHE SHOULD DIVORCE HER HUSBAND
Q19: Are the sins forgiven for the woman that goes through childbirth, is this only for the one that has natural childbirth or also C-sections?
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely." Bukhari (Book #55, Hadith #548)
ALL HER SINS ARE FORGIVEN AND WHEN YOU BREASTFEED OE DIE IN CHILDBIRTH, YOU DIE AS A MARTYR AND GO TO JANNAH
Q20: please tell us about Witr salah as I know it to be wajib can you please explain, also is sunnah salah better to do 2 at a time ?
SUNNAH IS 2 @ A TIME .. WITR CAN BE 1 or up to 13 (2 then 1 extra) is best
--the best way is the way they pray in Makka and Medina (2 rakah then 1)
--Witr is odd number (1, 3, etc so pray the one rakah then 2 and 2 etc)
Q21: I have given the first divorce .., can my wife gimme a khula after this .. if we want to salvage our marriage later on ... as khula has this option
NO ANSWER RECORDED
Q22: am sorry to ask an explicit question but I wanted to ask if a woman is away from her husband for a long period of time is it wrong to masturbate, please forgive me?
ANSWER 22 - HANBALI FIQH PERMITS THIS
--MALIKI DOES NOT
--HANBALI IS CORRECT OPINION. WHY?
--masturbation prevents zina
Q24: if a women wants to go to jummah but her husband does not want her to can she go?
ANSWER 24 - THEY SHOULD GO TOGETHER AS A COMPROMISE; HE IS PROBABLY JEALOUS OF HER TO GO ALONE
Q25: is the salah of someone accepted if he goes past 40 days without trimming hair?
ANSWER 25 - IT IS MAKROOH BUT YES, HE CAN DO IT
--he needs to shave his hair