Thursday, May 5, 2011

Notes: The Ideal Muslim Woman - Shaikh Faisal

Women in Islam: The Ideal Muslim Woman
Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
(evening dars 4.05.11)

PROBLEMS WOMEN HAD BEFORE ISLAM:
1. They weren't allowed to inherit
2. They were victims of forced marriages (arranged marriages are permitted)
O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness (An-Nisa 4:19)
--If you are practicing forced marriage till today, you have brought over things with you from jahiliyiah
--Rasool(saw) Prophet gave a woman who wanted to leave her husband a choice to stay w/ the man or leave, she stayed
--she complained to teach other women they don’t need to stay in a forced marriage
--your not allowed to stay in marriage b/c of his kufr (no chemistry - no physical attraction)
--the Prophet (saws) talked to her husband and told her to give her a divorce
--the Rasool (saws) didn't force her to stay, he used his wisdom and let her out of the marriage
The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Apostle said (to her) "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once." Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 63, Number 197

The Chapter of Khula
--khula- woman divorces because there's no love (but she gives back her dowry)
--faskh is an annulment (she keeps the dowry)
--if the mans character is evil, you do faskh, not khula
--husbands are not to break their promises
--ie. he promises where you're going to live (giving wife her space); she can't be forced to go on his broken promises, this woman would then do faskh
--if your husband divorces you, it is called talaq
--it's not the end if you do khula - you can remarry, but you go with a new dowry and new marriage contract

3. women were not allowed to own properties
--Khadijah owned property but she was a special case
--there are women today who are oppressed by their money and possessions
--a woman's money is hers so you can't take it from her
--if she helps you pays bills (electric and such), it is her zakah
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc) (4:34)

4. Womemn did not have a right to life
--girls were buried alive
--you can't prefer boys over girls (it's jahiliyiah thinking)
And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do) shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed? (81:8-9)
--a girl is allowed to go to university if she doesn't have to live on campus
--Rasool(saw) stopped men from burying their daughters
--he said anyone who has two daughter and takes care of them, would be with him in Paradise like this - he put two fingers, side-by-side to show how close they’d be
tarbiyya = upbringing
muraabi - the one who trains you
adab = mannerisms
murjifeen = someone who always complains; causing fitnah
"Whoever maintains two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Resurrection Day like this; and he joined his fingers together." (Muslim)
--burying of girl children is NOT just of the past; (we have pagans today, as well)
--no such a thing as, the "past"
--there are homosexuals today, as in the time of Lut
--there are people who cheat w/ the scales
--there are people who use their entertainment industry to insult the Rasool (saws)
--people buried girl children then and now (China and India, for example)
--the dowry system in India and Pakistan is "buying a man"
--Barelvis are still Hindus (they did not give up Hinduism)
--they are outside the fold of Islam
--these people have to find dowry for their daughters, so they prefer to have sons
--many villages in India only have boys, no girls
--there's a shortage of women
--they see girls as a "gateway to poverty"
--in the time of the Rasool (saws), they killed them, (fearing poverty and disgrace)
--they worry if she commits zina when she reaches puberty
--many Muslimahs run away w/ kaafir men
--the Arabs didn't like zina even before Islam
--the Rasool (saws) told Hind, (when she took Shahadah), "don't kill you kids or do shirk"
--slave girls who had no family to disgrace, were "pimped"
--but Hind asked, "is there a free woman who commits 'zina'?"
--a prostitute is a girl who is sexually active outside of marriage [Islamic definition]
--Maryam [mother of Jesus] said only prostitutes give birth outside of marriage
--in China, they only allow 1 child, so they abort the girls
And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin. (17:31)
--in India, they want boys, as well
--the Chinese go to North Korea and Mongolia for wives
--they don’t have enough women for wives
--they need a war to get rid of the surplus of men
--we know then that killing girl-children is not a thing of the past
--history repeats itself
--the hearts of the kaafirs are alike

ISLAM RESPECTS WOMEN
Khadijah = 1st woman to embrace Islam
--she was the rock of the Rasool (saws)
--a woman, referred to as a “Khadijah,” is:
--sensible, pious and wise (and they usually have some wealth)
--an “Aisha-type” is young, pretty, pious, loves knowledge and the deen and
--Aishas are virgins
--Muslim men are in 3 categories: they either want a “Khadijah” or “Aisha” or both!
Sumaya = she refused to give up Islam even though she was persecuted
Aisha = greatest scholar of Islam (of the women)
--Aisha's knowledge outweighs all the knowledge of the ummah
Fatima = she was closest woman to Rasool (saws); the favorite child
--Fatima actually means: wean from sins
--she was so special that she didn't menstruate
The 4 special women of Paradise are: Aseyah, Maryam, Khadijah, and Fatima
Umm Amaara = saved the life of the Prophet (saws)
--whether he looked to the right or left, she was always fighting @ the Battle of Uhud
--she participated in jihad w/ the permission of her amir
Khansaa = made the greatest sacrifice:
--she gave all 4 of her sons to the Rasool (saws)
--when she learned of their death, she made a dua (“alhumdulillah”)
--before she embraced Islam, her brother, Saqr died (she cried and nearly became blind)
--her other brother, Muawaiya was her full-brother but she preferred her 1/2 brother, Saqr.  why? because HE WAS KIND TO HER
--women don't love the man who took her virginity: that notion is rubbish:
--she loves the man who is kind to her !!!
--when a woman was married 2 or 3x in the dunya, the Rasool (saws) says
--she will be in Paradise w/ the one who was treated her the best
--Saqr died before she took Shahadah; she was ready to send her sons to the battlefield
--a woman's son is her flesh and blood so you think she would cry more than for her half-brother, but not true: Her 4 sons died as shaheed
--bury a shaheed in the clothes they died in and do not say janaza prayer over them
--shaheed doesn't need prayers for forgiveness of sin
Think not of those who are killed in the Way of Allâh as dead. Nay, they are alive, with their Lord, and they have provision (3:169)
Khawla bint al Azwar = she was a muraabita
--she was doing ribaat at night and in the daytime (on horses fighting, like men)
--if you do one day of ribaat, it’s greater than the dunya & all it contains
--the plural for a muraabit is: al muraabitoon
--Men need permission to go to jihad, as well as women
Had they marched out with you, they would have added to you nothing except disorder, and they would have hurried about in your midst (spreading corruption) and sowing sedition among you, and there are some among you who would have listened to them. And Allâh is the All-Knower of the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.). (9:47)

--murjifeen (always complaining about something - causing fitnah over every thing)
--they will cause you hardship; they become busy-bodies
--some Muslims don't realize it because they are naive
--bin Laden was naive to live in Pakistan because he was living among Barelvis
--95% are kuffar (so they sell you out)
--they call you Wahabbi (only 1% of the people in Pakistan are Muslim)
--they sell you out for just $100 USD, not millions
--they think it's their duty to sell you out
--their current President there is a Shia
--change the name to “Kaafirstan“
--they don't even teach Aqeedah
--the kuffar of the west have a well-oiled propaganda machine

--the women rush to Islam because ONLY IN ISLAM WILL YOU FIND A REAL MAN
**the lecture of MEN IN ISLAM is on the AT [www.authentictauheed.blogspot.com/]
--kaafir men are confused about their entire life; they say, “I AM NOTHING”
--they are something: THEY ARE A KAAFIR
--Christianity says women caused men to fall from grace
--in Islam, Allah tala says the shaitan (not a woman) got Adam to fall from grace
Then the Shaitân (Satan) made them slip therefrom (the Paradise), and got them out from that in which they were. We said: "Get you down, all, with enmity between yourselves. On earth will be a dwelling place for you and an enjoyment for a time." (2:36)
--if a man listens to his wife and he makes a mistake, the burden is on HIM
--the only thing a woman has to in her marriage is to provide jimaa (sex)
--and bring up children properly
--according to Hanbali fiqh, she can ask for a maid because her only requirement is to provide jimaa (sex in marriage)
--Hanbali fiqh also says women can call the athan and they can touch the Quran and go to masjid when they are menstruating (only weak Hadith say otherwise)
Which (that Book with Allâh) none can touch but the purified (i.e. the angels) (56:79)
--the most perfect of believers in eeman are those who have good conduct
--we can tell you're a good man by how you treat your wife
The Prophet said: 'The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.' (Musnad Ahmad)
--daa’ee (preach Islam outside the home) but if they treat their wife badly, what's the point?
--The Rasool (saws) says the best of you treat their wives kindly (he never beat his wives)
ISLAM WOULD SPREAD FASTER IF MUSLIM MEN TREATED THEIR WIVES PROPERLY
--they consummate (jimaa) the marriage but don't give the woman a dowry
--don't cheat the sisters!
--women can call out to Allah (swt) and a man will be finished! do not oppress women
--3 people's duaas are always answered: the father of his son, dua of traveler and the oppressed
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi]
--The Rasool (saws) says the world is filled with encumbrances but the best in this world is: a pious wife

4 GOOD THINGS OF THE DUNYA:
--pious wife
--spacious house
--good neighbor
--good transportation

--When you educate a woman, you educate an entire nation
--stay away from stupid women because it's passed on to their kids
--Why men chase women (analogy): The sun is feminine and the moon is masculine
The moon does the chasing because the sun has what it needs (light)
--women have what men need so the men do the chasing
--sisters hardly propose to brothers, why? they can't cope w/ rejection
--brothers get over rejection within 3 days, but women have an ego
--The Rasool (saws) said men propose to women for 4 reasons: wealth, beauty, lineage, her deen and GO FOR THE WOMAN WITH THE DEEN, SHE WILL HELP YOU ENTER PARADISE (found in Hadith)
--ALLAH swt showers mercy on the wife who wakes her husband up for Fajr by sprinkling water on his forehead
--a woman can call the police on her husband if he is he abusive,but its haraam. if he is a good husband/she can't misuse this
NECESSITY KNOWS NO LAW
Shaikh in the UK
--he was asked to visit a sister w/ an emergency - she wanted a faskh
--her husband was a munafiqh (he said to her: when Muhammad (saws) was in the cave and he said the angels squashed him 3x, how do you know Muhammad didn't make this up?)  He doubted a part of the Qur’an, she knew he was munafiqh
--you can’t have jimaa w/ a munafiqh
--he was one because he didn't believe ALL THE QUR'AN
Had We willed, We could have shown them to you, and you should have known them by their marks, but surely, you will know them by the tone of their speech! And Allah knows all your deeds. (47:30)
WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART HAS TO COME OUT FROM YOUR LIPS
YOU WILL CHOOSE YOU FRIENDS and WIFE ACCORDING TO THE LEVEL OF YOUR OWN EEMAN
--some men want a wife who is Muslim by name only
--they have no jealousy over their wives
--some men don't want to marry a niqaabi-sister
--show me your wife and I’ll know if you're “front-line” material
--does she wear hijab? does she shun her salah?
--if you laugh at a beard (you become a kaafir)
--if you walk the streets w/o hijab, you're not a kaafir but if you laugh at wearing it, you become a kaafir
And if thou ask them (O Muhammad) they will say: We did but talk and jest. Say: Was it at Allah and His revelations and His messenger that ye did scoff? Make no excuse. Ye have disbelieved after your (confession of) belief. If We forgive a party of you, a party of you We shall punish because they have been guilty. (9:65-66)

QUESTIONS and ANSWERS after the dars
Q1: As salaam alaykum Shaykh, if a woman is not married dies and is accepted to Jannah, will she be given a husband?
ANSWER 1 - YES BECAUSE ALLAH SWT SAID WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE WANT IN PARADISE (SEE SURAH YASIN)
Q2: Is it allowed for me to marry a second wife if I am not fulfilling my fard duty of giving public dawah like Anjem Choudary and other people do? Someone told me that marrying a second wife is Sunnah, and you should be doing all your Fard acts before you make efforts to do something extra like getting another wife?
ANSWER 2 - if the 2nd wife has sexual needs and you're the only one available, you can marry her (and you can afford it)
Q3: If a man has a genuine reason to get a second wife but the wife doesn’t support the idea what should you do?
ANSWER 3 - THESE QUESTIONS CAN'T BE SOLVED ON PALTALK SO PLEASE GO TO YOUR LOCAL SCHOLAR
Q4: who can a women of today get permission to go to the battlefield (due 2d lack of an amir / Khilafah
ANSWER 4 - THE LOCAL ALIM CONDUCTING CAN GIVE HER PERMISSION (EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE PERMISSION because there are murjifeen (those who cause fitnah on the battlefield)
Q5: Shaikh I pay all the utilities and my husband does not but I see when he has money he doesn't even say anything or try to help with the bills, how should I tell him he is wrong?
ANSWER 5 - SEE NISA:34 - MEN ARE THE MAINTAINERS OF WOMEN / PROTECTORS - TAKE HIM TO COUSNELING AND COMPLAIN TO YOUR WALI
Q6: Shaykh some brothers from al muhajiroom have planned to pray janaza for Shaykh Osama bin laden this goes against the ayah of Quran Allah’s says the shaheed is alive in gaining sustenance from his lord?
ANSWER 6 - THEY WANT TO PRAY JANAZA FOR HIM JUST FOR MEDIA ATTENTION
Q7: Where can I find the hujjah that u said about a woman's money is her own and not her husband's?
ANSWER 7 - she can't spend more than 1/3 of her wealth w/o her husband's permission - See also 4:34 and Surah 20:117
Q8: in Islam, Allah tala says the shaitan used Jibreel to get Adam to fall from grace please re-explain
ANSWER 8 – The shaitan got Adam to fall from grace (Eve didn’t do it)
Q9: sheikh, would you say Surah Taubah is the best Surah for building fear of Allah? or what Surah would you advise us to read if we want to build taqwa?
ANSWER 9 - TAUBA IS THE BEST TO INCITE YOU TOWARD JIHAD
Q10: how can you shorten your salah when you’re traveling? Which salah can u combine?
ANSWER 10 - YOU COMBINE ASR and DHUR (and when you leave your town not even a big trip) you are considered a traveler (so do 2 rakat of each)
If you combine Maghrib, you do 3 rakat (you can't shorten this) but you can delay it
--you can also combine your prayers if you are a wife who is busy or you are at work and are busy as we do here in dars
--you should shorten when you travel or busy
Q11: I live in UK if I open a business here do I have to pay tax Islamically?
ANSWER 11 - not need to pay tax if you live in daar ul harb
Q12: can you teach 'siyasa tul shahriah-by ibn Taymiyyah?
ANSWER 12 - TAWHEED IS MORE OF A PRIORITY; 'siyasa tul shahriah is on the back-burner
Q13: Shaikh Albaani, bin Baaz, Uthaymeen = MADkhalis?? Can you take aqeedah and fiqh from them?
ANSWER 13 - YOU CAN TAKE FIQH BUT NOT ALL THEIR AQEEDAH (Uthaymeen was the best for this century)
--you can't take hakeemiah issues (they will say to dismantle the Sharia is minor kufr)
Q14: salaam 3alaikum, I heard in a lecture that a women who was married to 1 of the Sahabah was proposed to after her husband died.. but she refused because saying u are given to the last person u were married to in the dunya, and she wanted to go to her dead husband. the sheikh then said look at her loyalty.  is this true or do u go to the one u loved the most/treated u the best?
ANSWER 14 - SAHIH SAYS YOU WILL BE W/ YOUR LAST HUSBAND (THAT WAS HER CHOICE, SO IT'S FNE) --BUT IF SHE MARRIED A MUNAFIQH, SHE WON'T BE WITH HIM SO SHE IS WITH WHOEVER TREATED HER BEST - See 4:145
--widows have jimaa needs as other women do so she can move on
--one woman married 4 Sahabahs and when 1 died, she'd quickly marry again
--you can't propose to a widow before 4 months and 10 days (but you can give her a hint- eg. if she is crying, say SOMETHING IS IN THE PIPELINES but don't be direct, be coy)
Q15: could you please state all the requirements of Islamic slaughtering
ANSWER 15 - SHARPEN THE KNIFE, DO NOT USE A DULL WEAPON - THE SLAUGHTER HAS TO BE MUSLIM, CHRISTIAN OR JEW - SAY BISMILLAH ALLAHU AKBAR - LET ALL THE BLOOD COME OUT - DO NOT MENTION THE NAME OF ANYTHING BUT ALLAH OR its HARAAM (SAY BISMILLAH BEFORE YOU EAT IT)
--blood inside the body / if the slaughterer called the name of a false deity- NO GOOD
Q 16: is it the wife's job to clean the house or her kid’s job?
ANSWER 16 - HANBALI FIQH SAYS IT IS NOT HER JOB - OTHER MADHABS SAY SHE CLEANS HER HOME AND SHE TEACHES THEM
Q17: What is the correct opinion regarding women calling adhan?
ANSWER 17 - HANBALI FIQH ALLOWS IT IF NO MAN ARE THERE - HE SAID 'NO PROBLEM'- “laa ba's”

***Shaikh Faisal's notes are transcribed from his LIVE dars by his students. Any inconsistencies in spelling are because several different students are taking down the notes.