Manhood in Islam: What are the Characteristics of a Real Man?
Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
(evening dars 5.03.11)
--The Ummah of Muhammad(saw) is in desperate need of “real men”
--to bring back the glory days of Islam
Definition of a Real Man
--a Muslim woman wants a real man, not a fake man
--a man is one who is a mature man, who is free, and not mad (mentally ill)
--if you’re not mature, you’re not a man; you’re a boy
--it’s haraam for a woman to marry a mad man
--sisters aren’t allowed to marry a brother who is in prison, unless your rights are fulfilled (these rights are conjugal rights)
--a man who’s in prison is referred to as a “wasted man”
--it’s better for you to die than to go to prison
--the word “man” is used, misused, and abused, just like the word “love”
--the word “man” is a title, just like doctor, shaikh, engineer...
--Allah created man and gave man 5 favors
The Five Favors of man:
1. Allah created man with His own Two Hands
2. Allah blew in the soul of man
3. He taught man the names of everything under the Heavens; He gave man knowledge
4. He put man in Heaven to live
5. He commanded the Angels to bow down to man
--Ibliss was jealous of what Allah bestowed upon Adam he cursed him even before he had life
--man is Allah's masterpiece
--Allah did swear by many things: “man is My masterpiece”
--Ibliss wanted to be the masterpiece
--we are more intelligent than the jinn
WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A REAL MAN?
1) A real man is wise
And his people came rushing towards him, and since aforetime they used to commit crimes (sodomy, etc.), he said: "O my people! Here are my daughters (i.e. the daughters of my nation), they are purer for you (if you marry them lawfully). So fear Allah and degrade me not as regards my guests! Is there not among you a single right-minded man?" (11:78)
--The Islamic culture is that you look after your guest
--you have to feed your guests and look after them
When the Americans said to the Afghanis, “Hand over Usama bin Laden,” the Afghans said, "We can’t hand him over; he's our guest"
--they preferred to lose their entire country because of one guest
--you have to look after your guest
The Messenger of Allah [s] further guides us by saying: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be hospitable with his or her guests."
SHAIKH IN SAUDI ARABIA
--we feed our guest in Islam, the kaafir doesn’t take care of his guest
--the Sauds would always invite someone to eat along w/ them
--Islam endorses hospitality
--long before Islam came, they used to be good to their guests, Islam endorsed it
--when Islam finds a culture: if it is good, it endorses the culture, but if it is evil, it removes it
--Islam will surgically remove haraam aspects from society (ie. zina)
2) A real man thinks with his aql, not his private parts
SHAIKH IN SOUTH AFRICA
--thousands of people there die from AIDS. there’s no outcry because AIDS is a silent killer
--why do they die from AIDS? Because they think with their private parts
--alcohol raises testosterone in men and women and makes these kaafirs commit zina, so you can expect thousands of kaafirs to die from AIDS
--Allah gave you the brain to use; if you don’t use your brain, than you’re the worst of beast!
Verily! The worst of (moving) living creatures with Allah are the deaf and the dumb, those who understand not (i.e. the disbelievers). (8:22)
3) A real man fulfills his covenant and does jihad; he loves the battlefield
--some die on the battlefield so their souls are in the green birds of Paradise on chandeliers hanging from the throne of Allah
--some want to die on the battlefield
--dying on the battlefield is a "good death"
--these men are never treacherous
--the real man is the man who wants to be a shaheed
--Do you want to die with AIDS, or while you out in clubs or from a heart attack from committing zina with women?
--the real man is desperately waiting to die on the battlefield
--Khaild ibn Walid, after he took his Shahadah, fought every single battle to die on the Battlefield; but he died on his bed;
--he was called the Sword of Allah, he never lost a battle
And no person can ever die except by Allah's Leave and at an appointed term. And whoever desires a reward in (this) world, We shall give him of it; and whoever desires a reward in the Hereafter, We shall give him thereof. And We shall reward the grateful. (3:145)
--Allah's qadr determines when someone is appointed to die
--you can only die when Allah wants you to die
--if it’s the Will of Allah for you to die, than you will die
--The Rasul(saw) said whenever Allah wants for you to die in a particular land, He puts your needs there, (for you to go there and die there)
4) A real man is hygienic
--two men where punished in their graves, one allowed urine to drop on his trousers, the other was a tale-bearer
--the Rasul(saw) sent a woman to check the mouth of a woman whom he proposed for marriage. He said, “Look in her mouth"
--it’s permissible to divorce a man if he has: bad breath, dodgy aqeedah, short genitalia, is physically abusive, has an evil character, uses alcohol or drugs, is impotent, or apostates
In it are men who love to clean and to purify themselves. And Allah loves those who make themselves clean and pure (i.e. who clean their private parts with dust [i.e. to be considered as soap) and water from urine and stools, after answering the call of nature] (9:108)
--So the real man is hygienic; to be hygienic is half of your eeman
"Allah's Apostle said, 'If I had not found it hard for my followers or the people, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Siwak for every prayer.' (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Friday Prayer, Volume 2, Book 13, Number 12)"
5) A real man is spiritually pure from
--a REAL MAN is free from KUFR, SHIRK, ENVY, RACISM/TRIBALISM/NATIONALISM, LAZINESS, LUST/GREED, DOUBTS (he doesn’t doubt the existence of Allah or Paradise), HYPOCRISY, IMPATIENCE, LOVE FOR DUNYA AND FEAR FOR DEATH, HERESY, AND ARROGANCE
PRIDE IS NOT BAD ~ BUT ARROGANCE IS!
--if you’re proud to be a Muslim; that’s fine
--in fact if you’re not proud to be a Muslim, you have hypocrisy in your heart
--jealousy isn't a bad thing; envy is bad
--it’s compulsory on you to be jealous over your wife (and not be dayooth)
--envy has anger w/ it
--The Rasul(saw) said, "Any man who is not jealous over his wife will not go to paradise"
--It’s compulsory for a Muslim man to be circumcised
--do not marry an uncircumcised man
--so a real man is spiritually pure
--he is circumcised, makes instinja, ghusl and wudu
5 Things are Fitrah
1. shave pubic hair and hair under the arm
2. clip your hand and toe nails
3. trim your mustache
4. let your beard grow and
5. be circumcised
“There are five things from the fitrah: using metal (blade for removing the pubic hair), circumcision, trimming the mustache, plucking the armpit hair, and cutting the nails” [Bukhari, 5509]
--you have to shave your pubic hairs and under your arms
--the kaafirs don’t shave their pubic hairs and under their arms
MEN CARRY THE BANNER OF ISLAM
--women in the west don’t obey their husbands
--they don’t realize it’s haraam to say “no” to their husbands when they are called to bed
--their divorce rate is very high
--According to Shariah law, if a man pins down his wife and perform his manly duty, he didn’t do anything wrong
--you can’t call the police if your husband pins you down
--as long as it’s not in the Holy month of Ramadan in the daylight hour
--the only time you can call the police is when your husband is a munafiqh and your life is in danger
--if your husband isn’t violent and he’s not a munafiqh, its haraam to refuse his jimaa needs
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses and in that she upsets him, the angels will continue to curse her until the morning." [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
--A real man rules his wife and calls his wife for jimaa whenever he feels like it
--A real man calls a woman to bed, not another man
--A real man is not impotent
6) A real man is not impotent
--Impotence is a reason for women to divorce her husband, so you need to stop abusing your health by smoking and drinking or taking drugs
--A real man marries a woman whom he is attracted (they have “chemistry”)
--A real man doesn’t live a lie, (meaning a woman with whom he isn’t attracted)
A woman is allowed to refuse her husband's bed:
--if he apostates
--in the daylight of Ramadan (after Maghrib is fine)
--if he's not making salah
--if he doesn’t pray salah, he’s a kaafir
--if she is bleeding due to menses or childbirth
--if he is verbally/physically abusive
--he refuses to maintain you financially
And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. 2:228
7) A real man is jealous over his wife
--These people did kufr: murderer, man who does black magic, a dayooth, one who didn’t pay zakah, didn’t make hajj or is drunk
--The title given to those who aren’t jealous over their wives aren’t given the title “man;” they’re given the title of “dayooth”
--A real man doesn’t do incest, bestiality or sell weapons, when a war is unholy
--A real man is jealous over his wife / daughter
--eg. a kaafir can sit in his house while his daughter comes in the house with a man; she goes to her bedroom w/ that man and is there for 3 or 4 hours. Her father is a dayooth because he doesn’t have any jealousy over his wife / daughter.
--The dayooth will never go to the Paradise
Prophet (saws) said: Three people will not enter paradise and Allah will not look at them on the day of Judgment: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-dayooth [Ahmad]
8) A real man doesn’t behave like a woman
--Men who behave like women are called, “mukhannath”
Another narration is: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) cursed men who copy women and cursed women who copy men [Al-Bukhari]
--Allah curses the man who behaves like women, and the women who behaves like man
--The Rasul(saw) said, drive those who behave like women out of your homes
--Islam dos not permit cross-dressing
--we wear hijab when we are age 7 (to define our gender)
--it’s haraam to dress a boy in a hijab, even as a joke
--the sin is on you, the mother
9) A real man is rational, while women are emotional
--Men are a degree over women
A women is so simple minded, she might fall in love with a man because she likes the way he walks or she is attracted to his accent
--women are emotional but men are rational
--this is why a woman needs a wali because the women are emotional, while the men are rational; a man looks at the full picture
10) A real man isn’t petty/trivial
--when a woman tries to argue w/ a real man, he is not trivial
--they dont pay attention to the small details and forget the big picture
THE UMMAH OF MUHAMMAD (SAWS) IS DESPERATE FOR REAL MEN TO BRING BACK
THE GLORY DAYS OF ISLAM BECAUSE NOW, OUR RESOURCES ARE BEING PLUNDERED, OUR WOMEN RAPED AND PEOPLE AREBEING MASSACRED
11) The real man doesn’t allow the dunya to take him away from the Deen
Men whom neither trade nor sale diverts them from the Remembrance of Allah (with heart and tongue), nor from performing As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), nor from giving the Zakat. They fear a Day when hearts and eyes will be overturned (from the horror of the torment of the Day of Resurrection). (24:37)
--some people miss 10 Juma'ah because they are busy with their shops
--they can’t close to make Juma'ah because they love the USD more than Allah
And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah. But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else). If only, those who do wrong could see, when they will see the torment that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is Severe in punishment. (2:165)
These people worship false deities the way they ought to love Allah (swt)
The real man doesn’t allow the dunya to take him away from the Deen
12) A real man goes for Hajj
And proclaim to mankind the Hajj (pilgrimage). They will come to you on foot and on every lean camel, they will come from every deep and distant (wide) mountain highway (to perform Hajj). (22:27)
--to go to Hajj, you need to be a real man because Hajj is a difficult experience, as many people die from heat-strokes
13) Men are the protectors and maintainers of women
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great. (4:34)
--A righteous woman is devoted and obedient to Allah ‘tala and her husband
--she guards his property and he protects her chastity
--A real man must give the woman her rights; food, clothing, shelter and to take her to the doctor when she becomes sick
--A real man can’t be physically or verbally abuse to her and then try to go to bed w/ her
--A real man can’t go to bed w/ his wife and then expose the bedroom secrets
--you have to be jealous over her; the man who isn’t jealous over his wife won’t enter Paradise
The Kuffar are the worst of Creatures
--a kaafir doesn’t have any values: if you have values, why do you allow women to marry women and man to marry man? why do you do wife swapping? why do you allow man to marry animals?
Verily, those who disbelieve (in the religion of Islam, the Qur'an and Prophet Muhammad) from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and Al-Mushrikun will abide in the Fire of Hell. They are the worst of creatures. (98:6)
--You (kaafir) are the worst of created things because you have no values
--you want us to become the lowest of the low
--we will NEVER do this, because we have NOTHING in common
--We shall never integrate into your society because you are beneath the level of the cattle
Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are only like cattle; nay, they are even farther astray from the Path. (i.e. even worst than cattle). (25:44)
--We don’t believe in integrationism
--We have values unlike you the kuffar, and since you have no values; you’re the lowest of the low, and you’re the worst of creatures
--The beauty of the Qur'an is that Allah ‘did not mince His words
Had We sent down this Qur'an on a mountain, you would surely have seen it humbling itself and rending asunder by the fear of Allah. Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect. (59:21)
THE KUFFARE ARE HORRIFIED, PETRIFIED AND TERRIFIED OF THE ISLAM
--they love their shirk and bid'ah and haraam acts
--they give these haraam acts pretty names
--so they try to fight Islam
--if you're a wimp, don't study Islam; the scholars are the inheritors of the prophets
And verily We gave unto Moses the Scripture and We caused a train of messengers to follow after him, and We gave unto Jesus, son of Mary, clear proofs (of Allah's sovereignty), and We supported him with the Holy spirit. Is it ever so, that, when there cometh unto you a messenger (from Allah) with that which ye yourselves desire not, ye grow arrogant, and some ye disbelieve and some ye slay? (2:87)
The worst man on judgment day is a man who killed a prophet or was killed by a prophet
THE COVENANT IS TO GO TO THE BATTLEFIELD
--many were slain there
--the ultimate sacrifice
--some are waiting eagerly to die on the battlefield
--and they did not break any promises
--these are the only real men
--many called mujahideen “Khawarij” and “terrorists”
--say to them: look at yourself in the mirror!
--their souls will go in the body of greenbirds
REAL MEN GIVE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE
THE UMMAH OF MUHAMMAD SAWS IS IN NEED OF REAL MEN
Among the believers are men who have been true to their covenant with Allah [i.e. they have gone out for Jihad (holy fighting), and showed not their backs to the disbelievers], of them some have fulfilled their obligations (i.e. have been martyred), and some of them are still waiting, but they have never changed [i.e. they never proved treacherous to their covenant which they concluded with Allah] in the least. (33:23)
Do you trust the kuffar?
--you voted in Algeria and Palestine
--the kuffar changed their minds; they can’t be trusted
--democracy is supposed to be OF THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE AND FOR THE PEOPLE
--why waste Muslim money in elections?
--the way forward is not the ballot
THE WAY FORWARD IS THE BULLET NOT THE BALLOT
--A beleiver is not bitten in the same hole twice --> ALGERIA, PALESTINE, TURKEY, NIGERIA (PRESIDENT ABIOLA), MALAYSIA (IBRAHIM IS FULLY IS A FULLY PRACTICING MUSLIM)
The Prophet said: 'A believer is not stung from the same hole twice.' [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]
It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: One who died but did not fight in the way of Allah nor did he express any desire (or determination) for Jihad died the death of a hypocrite. [Sahih Muslim]
Verily, the hyprocrites will be in the lowest depths (grade) of the Fire; no helper will you find for them. (4:145)
QUESTIONS and ANSWERS after the dars
Q1: Shaikh, please repeat the first 5 signs of a good man
1 - wise
2 - aql
3 - loves the battle field
4 - hygienic
5 - spiritually pure
Q2: is the Tablighi jammah amongst the deviant groups?
ANSWER: THEY HAVE NO TAWHEED NOR BELIEVE THAT ALLAH TALA IS ON HIS ARSH
Q3: is there a way to influence the way a human are dying or is this something that is unchangeable?
ANSWER: STAND OVER THE DYING PERSON AND MAKE THEM SAY SHAHADAH TO INFLUENCE HOW HE DIES
Q4: I've heard there are different types of Shaheeds: One receiving pleasure in his grave, one on the banks of the rivers outside Jannah, one waiting at the gates of Jannah, and one in Jannah in green birds. Can you confirm please?
ANSWER: THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SHAHEED
1. One who dies of plague,
2. One who dies of an abdominal disease,
3. One who dies of drowning,
4. One who is buried alive (and) dies
5. And One who is killed in Allah's cause.
[Sahih Bukhari : Volume 1, Book 11, and Number 624]
Q5: Sheikh, is it permissible to drive the Shia rafidh out the Arabian peninsula?
Q6: Is it true that if a man had intention to do jihad but died a normal death, dies as a shaheed?
ANSWER: He will be rewarded for his intention but he wont be a 1st class shaheed like the one who actually died on the battlefield
Q7: Shaikh I have seen a dream a group of people handed me a dead baby a female with a pink sheet over her and I then started to recite the last verses of suratul Harsh and then she came back to life after she has been dead, can you please tell me what this means?
ANSWER: the person was spiritually dead but they returned to their deen
Q8: Sheikh, why do Shias hate the mujahideen?
ANSWER: THEY ARE JEWS .. THEY WERE STARTED BY ABDULLAH IBN SABAA - ALL HYPOCRITES HATE MUJAHIDEEN
“Allah often lies and does mistakes” [Usool-al-Kafi, page 328, Yacoob Kulayni, Vol. 1]
The present Quran is in an altered, corrupted and distorted form.. (Fatuhat-e-Shia, p. 129)
Ali Ibn Abi Talib said that he once slept with the prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h and his wife Ayesha in one bed, and under one cover, then the prophet woke up to pray, and left them together [ Ali and Ayesha ] in the same bed, under the same cover" [Bihaar al-Anwar vol. 40, p. 2]
The Shia believe that at the time of Mahdi’s return Imam Mahdi will resurrect Aisha (Prophet Mohammad’s wife) and execute the law of Hudud on her, for committing Zina (adultery) during her marriage. (Al-Anwar Al-Numaniyah, vol. 1, p. 161, Tafsir al-Shafi, vol. 2, p. 108, Haq al-Yaqeen, vol. 2, p. 256, Hayat al-Qulub, vol. 2, p. 611)
Q9: Is it haraam for a man 2 want 2 raise his kids up, before going 2 the field?
ANSWER: WE HAVE NO EVIDENCE OF SUCH BUT THEY MUST MAKE THE INTENTION TO GO FOR JIHAD
Q10: Sheikh, I am told Tauba is accepted till we die, are there any exceptions to this?
ANSWER: MAKE TAUBA BEFORE THE ANGEL OF DEATH APPEARS
Is it true that Osama bin Laden was killed?
ANSWER: IT APPEARS THAT AMIR BIN LADEN IS SHAHEED. OBAMA WOULDN'T HAVE RISKED HIS PRESIDENCY OVER THIS LIE. THE MUJAHIDEEN SAY IT’S A LIE. THE MUJAHIDEEN SAY THE PICS ARE FAKE (THE MAN LOOKS TOO YOUNG). SOME SAY IT’S TO GET THE TROOPS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN BECAUSE THEY ARE LOSING THE WAR [See 61:9]
***Shaikh Faisal's notes are transcribed from his LIVE dars by his students. Any inconsistencies in spelling are because several different students are taking down the notes.
***Shaikh Faisal's notes are transcribed from his LIVE dars by his students. Any inconsistencies in spelling are because several different students are taking down the notes.