Thursday, June 30, 2011

-108- The Rules of Nikah: part 1

Rules of Nikah: part 1
by Shaikh Abdullah Faisal

(evening: 6.30.11)

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Let us define ‘nikah’
‘Nikah’ according to the linguistic meaning:
-- a holy matrimony between a male and a female
-- therefore according to Shariah Law,
-- marriage cannot take place between 2 males or 2 females

QUESTION: Is nikah compulsory or strongly recommended?

ANSWER: Nikah becomes compulsory on the person who has sexual needs and he fears falling into zina

The Prophet and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power." [Bukhari 111: 129]

The scholars of Islam have agreed that the person who fears falling into zina, marriage is compulsory for that person. The practice of abstention is not encouraged in Islam. It is a cursed innovation. See 57:27 so a Muslim is not allowed to practice abstention when he has needs; ALLAH 'tala cursed abstention

But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them, but (they sought it) only to please Allâh therewith, but that they did not observe it with the right observance. So We gave those among them who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are Fâsiqûn (rebellious, disobedient to Allâh). (Al-Hadid 57:27)

Also the Rasul said: I marry women and anyone who abstains from my Sunnah of getting married, he or she is not a follower of me

I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)." Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik

Muslims believe in nikah, not abstention

-- Abstention is from the Roman Catholic faith and Buddhist practice it, as well

QUESTION: Is it permissible for a woman to give herself away in marriage to a man without a wali?

ANSWER: It is NOT permissible for a woman to give herself away in marriage to a man without a wali

"When a woman marries without the permission of her wali, then her marriage is not valid, not valid, not valid." (Ahmad, Tirmidhi and others)

Hanafi fiqh

Abu Hanifa believes a free woman can marry herself to a man without a wali (she must have sound aql)

If a girl should get married without a wali, because she is of the Abu Hanifa madhab, you’re not allowed to say she did zina and is living in sin. A shaikh should examine the husband, and if the shaikh approves of him as in he is good in character and good in deen the marriage is valid; but if the shaikh deems the person a Deobandi, etc. the shaikh must say that marriage is bautil: maybe he is not a deviant, but he’s a drug dealer: if his character turns out to be evil, then the shaikh MUST pronounce the marriage as bautil

Hafsa and Umar:
-- sometimes the wali is awkward
-- most Muslim parents ignore the sexual needs of their kids
-- these Muslim parents are not pious, like in the time of the Sahabahs

When Hafsa needed a husband, Umar approached Uthman and Uthman said: "it is not my intention to get married at this time" and then Umar approached Abu Bakr, and Abu Bakr did not say yes or no. Umar got upset with Abu Bakr and went to Muhammad PBUH and complained about Abu Bakr’s reaction. Muhammad PBUH smiled and said don’t worry, maybe ALLAH will give her someone better; the Rasul himself married Hafsa

In the time of the Rasul
-- the Sahabahs would approach pious men
-- and ask them to marry their daughters
-- but the Muslim parents today are not like that:
--they have many issues : pride, racism, ego, etc
-- some Muslim girls fall into zina
-- because their fathers didn’t look for a husband for them
-- they are not like Umar (ra) who went looking for a husband for his daughter

Question: Is it permissible for a man to approach a righteous man to marry his daughter or sister?

Answer: Yes

He said: "I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years, but if you complete ten years, it will be (a favour) from you. But I intend not to place you under a difficulty. If Allâh will, you will find me one of the righteous." (Al-Qasas 28:27)

When a person is not on deen
-- they will never look for a husband for their daughters
-- they are not on the deen, and they are jahil
-- they are not like Umar (ra) who approached Uthman
-- and Abu Bakr for marriage of his daughter

Question: What are the woman that is haraam to marry

It is haraam to marry a woman who your father was married to

And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way. (An-Nisa 4:22)

The pagan Arabs:

-- their practice is that when a father should die,
-- the son would inherit the father's wives
-- except for the biological mother

One day the Rasul sent a man to kill another man and to confiscate his property, when they asked what that man did, the Rasul said: he inherited his fathers wife

-- you are a mahram for your stepmother and stepdaughter forever
-- so if a woman gave suck to you (mother by milk),
-- you are mahram to her and all her daughters are haraam for you;
-- a girl is allowed to uncover in front of her stepfather

Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives' mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), - the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allah is Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful. (An-Nisa 4:23)

If you marry a woman and...
-- that marriage was annulled before that marriage was consummated
-- you can marry the daughter of that woman
-- if you have an adopted son, and he dies
-- you’re allowed to marry his wife after his death
-- the wife of your biological son is haraam for you

Who are the women who are allowed to uncover?
**allowed to uncover in front of you means to remove their hijab

**your mothers, daughters, sisters, fathers sisters, mothers sisters, brothers daughters, sisters daughters, foster mother, and all your foster sisters

What if the step father is a kaafir?
-- even if your step father is a kaafir, he is mahram for you
-- if a Muslim sister should uncover in front of her kaafir stepfather,
-- she did not do anything wrong
-- a man is not allowed to marry two blood sisters
---and live with them at the same time
-- but if one sister should die, or he divorces one,
-- he is allowed to marry the other one
-- you’re not allowed to marry the aunt and the niece
-- and live with them at the same time
-- you’re allowed to divorce one and marry the other one,
-- but cannot live with them in the same house at the same time
-- other women who are haraam for you to marry: your relatives
-- other women who are haraam for you: mushrik
-- such as Buddhist girls, Sikh girls, Hindu girls, Rastafarians, etc
-- the Shaikh who performs the marriage becomes a kaafir
-- Ibn Taymiyyah said: whenever a scholar makes something
-- that is haraam to be halaal, that person is a kaafir

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (d. 728H): “Whenever a person makes halal what is haraam by consensus or makes haraam what is halal by consensus or replaces the Sharee’ah that is agreed upon by consensus, then he is a Kaffir by the agreement of the scholars of Fiqh.” “Al-Fataawa”, Vol. 3/267

-- for that Shaikh to officiate a marriage between a Muslim and a pagan
-- is an act of apostasy
-- that Shaikh is making a mockery of Quran and Sunnah, that shaikh is a kaafir
-- a Muslim man is allowed to marry a Muslim Girl, or a Jewish girl
-- ...and a Christian Girl
-- we are not allowed to marry Zoroastrians, fire worshippers
-- a Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian and Jewish girls
-- only when no Muslim girls are available
-- if Muslim girls are there for him to marry,
-- then it is not permissible for him to marry a Jewish or Christian girl
-- when Umar was caliph, one of his governors married a Christian girls,
-- Umar asked him to divorce him
-- Umar quoted 5:51 to trump him

… of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) (Al-Ma'idah 5:5)

O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as Auliya' (friends, protectors, helpers, etc.), they are but Auliya' to one another. And if any amongst you takes them as Auliya', then surely he is one of them. Verily, Allah guides not those people who are the Zalimûn (polytheists and wrong¬doers and unjust). (Al-Ma'idah 5:51)

-- the governor quoted 5:5, but Umar trumped him with 5:51 and said
-- "who will be left to marry the Muslim girls if you are marrying the Christians?"
-- you’re allowed to marry a LOYAL Christian woman who is a widow,
-- if she didn’t sleep around
-- you’re not allowed to marry an unchaste woman

A Muslim woman is ONLY allowed to marry a Muslim Man

'If a Muslim woman should marry a kaafir, this means she is living in sin; she is committing fornication, the kids who are born from this marriage are bastard kids and are not allowed to lead the salah; her marriage is bautil

O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them. (Al-Mumtahinah 60:10)

A Muslim woman who is married to a kaafir man, her marriage is NOT accepted, her marriage is bautil, she is living in sin, the kids born from this marriage are bastard kids and are not allowed to lead the salah in a masjid, the shaikh who performed this marriage is a kaafir; the shaikh falls into the category of those who make haraam halal

Question: Can a man marry more than 4 women

Answer: No, it is haraam

The scholars have agreed that it is haraam for man to marry more than 4 wives, and it is permissible to kill the man who marries a 5th wife because he is committing adultery

Question: What is mutah and what is the ruling for mutah

Answer:'mutah'- when a man marries a woman for a fixed period

-- he can even marry her for a short period of one hour!
-- this is the fiqh of the Shias, they allow mutah

“'Rabia ibn Umayya made a temporary marriage with a woman and she is pregnant by him.'' Umar ibn al-Khattab went out in dismay dragging his cloak, saying, "This temporary marriage, had I come across it, I would have ordered stoning and done away with it! Malik's Muwatta Book 28, No 28.18.42

The Rasul allowed mutah in the battlefield and made it haraam in other battles: the reason why the Rasul made it haraam is because the Sahabahs were thinking of castrating themselves

The Shias believe that Umar (ra) made mutah haraam because someone did mutah with his daughter and he was offended

The Sunnis make mutah haraam because of the Hadith:
-- donkey meat and mutah is haraam @ the battle of khaybar
-- the Shias say that the Rasul made it halal in the conquest of Mecca
-- the correct opinion: mutah is haraam
-- if a girl becomes pregnant from mutah, the baby becomes her burden

Once Ali argued with a man who believed in Muta'a and told him that the Prophet made muta'a and the meat of donkey haraam on the day of Khaiber (Bukhari Vol. 7, pg. 287 and Vol. 4 pg. 134)


With mutah, you don’t even need an Imam to officiate the marriage, you can tell the girl : "ill pay you 50 US dollars, and we can go to bed for an hour"

A woman in Iran, when she reaches menopause, she is very happy because she knows she can earn a fortune from mutah and she doesn’t have to worry about falling pregnant!

The Shia women from Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, Pakistan (yes there are Shias there, in a place called "the diamond market"); these women earn fortunes from mutah; sometimes these women sleep with 10 different men every night

Hanbali fiqh:
-- a Muslim man is in China (example) and he has sexual needs
-- (he is on a trip for 6 months)
-- he is allowed to marry a girl for that 6 months
-- as long as he keeps that to himself
-- this dispute about mutah will continue until Judgment Day. Why?
-- because there are some Sunnis who believe that a man
-- is allowed to marry a woman for a certain amount of time
-- if he doesn’t tell her that amount of time

‘misyaar’ marriage is another type of marriage
-- misyaar was allowed by Shaikh bin Baz
-- misyaar is when you marry a rich girl
-- and she gives up her rights of maintenance
-- the marriage is as permanent as any marriage but
-- maintains herself financially

shigaar marriage is swapping
-- shigaar – swapping: a man has a 20 year old daughter
-- and his best friend has a 20 year old daughter
-- so and they swap the daughters (they don’t ask for dowry)
-- this type of marriage is haraam
-- because it oppresses the girls, the girls were not given any dowry
-- however, it is halal if the girls agree
-- if they didn’t agree, the marriage is haraam because it is a forced marriage
-- the dowry is compulsory to be given to the woman

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will (An-Nisa 4:19)

Marriage has 4 pillars
1. agreement
2. two witnesses
3. wali
4. dowry

Question: Are forced marriages permissible?

Answer: Surah An-Nisa 4:19 tells you forced marriage is haraam

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will (An-Nisa 4:19)

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) allowed her to exercise her choice. {Book 11, No 2091 : Sunan Abu Dawud}

Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid. (Bukhari Vol 7, Book 62, No 69)

Shaikh doesn’t need to give a lecture on forced marriages because one ayah is sufficient: An-Nisa 4:19

Question: Is it better to marry a virgin or non virgin?

Answer: It is better for a woman to be a virgin

-- unless it is in the interest of the man to marry a non virgin
--Shaikh Faisal’s shaikhs in university taught him this

Did you get married, O Jabir?” I replied, “Yes.” He asked, “Is she a virgin or a matron?” I replied, “She is a matron.” He said, “Why didn’t you marry a virgin girl so that you might play with her and she with you (or, you might make her laugh and she make you laugh)?” I said, “My father died, leaving seven or nine girls (orphans) and I did not like to bring a young girl like them, so I married a woman who can look after them.”

He said, “May Allah bestow His Blessing on you.” [Vol 8, Book 75, No 396 : Sahih Bukhari]

3 types of Muslim men :

1 . When they want to marry, they want to marry a Aisha
-- (a young intelligent, pretty virgin who loves the deen)
2. He wants to marry a Khadijah, a pious mature woman who can help him in life
3. He wants to marry one of each, an Aisha and a Khadijah

The best woman to take on a honeymoon is NOT a virgin:
-- it’s a widow or a divorcee 9if you want to have fun)
-- Why?
-- When you for a job the first question they ask you is:
-- do you have experience for the job?
-- some of you brothers do not want to marry sisters who have kids
-- but you get a lot of barakah when you marry a girl with kids
-- if you cannot marry a sister with kids, you are not ready for Jihad
-- Khadijah was not a virgin, she was a widow,
-- the Rasul (saws) loved her so much; they were soul mates
-- so if a sister is a widow, you’re gonna turn your back on her?
-- she needs a husband so her kids will remain in Islam
-- you need to stop being petty and narrow-minded
-- the Rasul married widows and he was so close w/ their children;
-- he ate from the same plate

Narrated 'Umar bin Al Salama: Who was the son of Um Salama, the wife of the Prophet: Once I ate a meal with Allah's Apostle and I was eating from all sides of the dish. So Allah's Apostle said to me, "Eat of the dish what is nearer to you." Volume 7, Book 65, Number 289:

The Rasul would marry women with kids;

-- he would bring the kids up as his own flesh and blood
-- the kids and him PBUH would eat from the same plate
-- the Rasul would teach the kids Islamic adab
-- the Rasul married only ONE virgin in his lifetime

Question: I it permissible for a man to look at a women that he wants to marry?
… and what section of her body is he allowed to look at?

Answer: There are 3 opinions among the scholars

Abu Hanifa: he is allowed to look at her face and the palm of her hands

Ahmed Ibn Hanbal: he is allowed to see her the way her father can see her
-- so if she comes out with no hijab, and a dress to her knees, she did not do anything wrong
-- when you go to her house to propose to her and meet her father

Daoud Dahiri:
-- 'you can peek at a woman in her shower'
-- the opinion of Daoud Dahiri should not be followed;
-- he is known to pass fatwas of this nature
-- Daoud Dahiri says the women will go to paradise
-- but will not smell its fragrance << weird fatwa If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her" At-Tirmidhi narrated it; he said this is a Hasan Hadith [Hasan means ‘good’]

And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (Al-Isra 17:23)

17:23 << you are not allowed to say UFF to your parents
-- meaning you cannot beat your parents
-- Daoud Dahiri says regarding 17:23,
-- you CAN beat your parents but you cant say UFF while doing so
-- Daoud Dahiri was a student of Ahmad Ibn Hanbal
-- but he was kicked out of the study circle
-- because he said the Holy Quran is created

When Umar was a prophet, he proposed to Umm Khulthum’ Umar lifted up her dress and looked at her leg, she said: “If you were not the amir of the believers, I would slap you across the face”

-- this Hadith is used as hujjah to say we are allowed to see the calf of the woman
-- the women who have skinny legs have low libido, and they often die of heart attack
-- its best for you to stay away from women who are anorexic and have low libido
-- if she dies on you the kuffar will accuse you of foul play

Question: Are you allowed to look at a woman (your fiancée) twice who you want to marry?

Answer: The scholars have said it is allowed if you want to be sure about the chemistry with your fianceé

-- It is unwise and makrooh for you to marry without having chemistry

A woman can marry a man she is not attracted to but it is very difficult for a man to marry a woman who he’s not attracted to because a man needs an erection to consummate the marriage

Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be strengthened. " ( Ahmad )

Question: Are their ‘engagements’ in Islam?

Answer: In Islam there are no engagement parties; those are bi'dah

-- In Islam we have wedding feasts but not engagement parties
-- When you propose to a girl and she says Yes, then you are engaged

Question: Is it permitted to propose to a girl who has already been proposed to (she’s considering it)?

Answer: It is not permissible for another brother to propose to her since you’ve already proposed to her

Yahya related to me from Malik from Muhammad ibn Yahya ibn Habban from al-Araj from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah said, "Do not ask for a woman in marriage when another Muslim has already done so. Muwatta 28.1

Question: What if you propose to a girl and she says "let me think about it, we will see..."
--She didn’t say yes or no

Answer: According to Abu Hanifa, you’re not allowed to propose to this girl

-- Hanbali fiqh: you ARE allowed to propose to her
-- because she did not give that other brother a yes
-- the correct opinion is that of Abu Hanifa
-- you’re not allowed to propose to a sister
-- who has already been proposed to by another brother

Abu Hanifa: you’re not allowed to propose to a girl who is already contemplating a marriage with another brother, you have to give her time to perform salatul istikhara

...but if a munafiqh proposes to a girl, you are allowed to propose to the same girl because their proposal doesn’t count; if a Saudi Salafi, etc proposes to the girl, you’re allowed to propose to the same girl : Saudi Salafi etc are not REAL Muslims

**Whenever a girl turns down a proposal of a brother, she does NOT have to give a reason
-- neither does a brother need to give a reason to a girl
-- so the brother has no right to press the girl and ask her "why did you say no"
-- it is not Islamic for you to press the girl for a reason
-- the reason why you shouldn’t press her is because of Surah 5:101

O you who believe! Ask not about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble. (Al-Ma'idah 5:101)

**It is permissible for a girl to propose to a boy in Islam because a woman did propose to the Rasul PBUH

Women are afraid to propose because
-- their female ego wont take NO for an answer
-- nowadays the girls drop hints , instead of proposing
-- whenever a boy proposes to you and you’re happy with his deen
-- and his character, you should marry him

“When someone whose character and morals are agreeable to you approaches you for marriage give your daughter to him in marriage. If you do not then there will be tribulation and immense corruption in the earth.” Abu Hatim al-Muzani and confirmed by Abu Dawud

Question: What is a permissible way to propose?

Answer: It is permissible to send proposals with SMS, text messages, emails, over the phone

...whenever a sister gets a proposal in text message, email, etc. she should tell the brother to have a word with her wali; the wali should not block the brother if he is pleased with his character and creed/deen

Whenever a girl receives a proposal:
-- it is compulsory on her to investigate the character of the man
-- could be lazy, a child molester, or could be addicted to drugs
-- or a wife beater, etc.
-- you need to investigate the brother when you receive the proposal
-- and you should ask his best friends regarding his character

Fatima bint Qais was proposed by 2 people but the Rasul gave her advice on why not to marry them; he advised her to marry Usama; when someone asks you regarding someone for character reference, you should tell the truth -- the good and the bad
-- she was proposed to by Abu Jahm and Mu’awiyah

Fatimah bint Qays went to the Prophet seeking marital advice when both Mu’awiyah Ibin Abu Sufyan and Abu Jahm had proposed to her. The Prophet told her, "Mu’awiyah is stingy and tight fisted) and Abu Jahm beats his women." So marry Usamah instead. (Muslim, Abu Dawud, At Tirmidhi, An Nisai, and Ibin Majah

….these notes are part one (6.30.11)