Wednesday, August 17, 2011

-166- Islamic Psychology: Our 5 Needs

by Shaikh Abdullah Faisal

(morning dars: 8.16.11)

[Incomplete Audio] Download


We're not permitted to be spiritually empty, morally bankrupt or ethically perverse

A SPIRITUAL NEED is a need that everyone has especially the Muslim ummah
-this is why the London riots took place
-some of these black people burning down London
-don't even know who their fathers are
-some of the men in prison w/ Shaikh told him they'd never even met their own kids
-some have 10 kids or one man had 27 kids from 10 different women
-that man never met his kids so how can the police say
-'ring your kids to see where they are'
-the kuffaar take away the ability of the parents to discipline their kids
-see Surah 53:39
-we only reap what we sow

And that man can have nothing but what he does (good or bad), (An-Najm 53:39)

we're to keep up our prayers, do dhikr, be in the company of good Muslims,
-marry people who take the deen seriously
-don't marry anyone beneath our status
-don't confuse your kids
-some of us, when we marry, spirituality is the last thing on our agenda:
-we want handsome, good job, same heritage
-but who mentions Allah (tala)?
-but they mention tall and handsome, and a good job but who mentions ISLAM?
-our spirituality is weak and our priority is not to take care of our spiritual needs
-when you marry a munafiqh, the shaikhs are the ones
-who are left to pick up the pieces
-they must provide much counseling to the spouses of munafiqhs
-same thing as women who have flash-backs from FGM [female genital mutilation]
-they want to know if they are required to tell
-their potential husbands about the FGM
-answer is only if he asks you
-and the ayah to outlaw FGM is An-Nisa 4:119

Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allâh." And whoever takes Shaitân (Satan) as a Walî (protector or helper) instead of Allâh, has surely suffered a manifest loss. (An-Nisa 4:119)

-so your decision on a spouse determines if the shaikh
-will have to pick up your pieces afterwards


We want to know that we are loved and accepted
-and someone out there is crazy about us
-we want to know we're not rejected and that we're precious to someone else

-if you don't show your child love, you create a vacuum
-in that child's heart and mind
-so it makes it easier for the child to be manipulated by others
-this is especially true for women who will end up being manipulated by [players] -[men who like more than 1 woman]

-a co worker might take her to lunch and buy her flowers and fill the void her husband made
-so he makes her feel special and women love to feel special

-if we have flowers and don't water them or give composted, the flower will die
-the same is true for married people
-their loves dies if it's not been fed
-another reason for affairs is the man who is impotent and can't satisfy his wife

-if you want to conquer someone's heart: show them love
-when you show your children love, they will remain in Islam and never apostate
-the beauty of Islam is not in glossy books
-or masjids but in how we treat other people

-his character made people turn to Islam

-with Allah through our ibaadah (worship)
-with other people / the ummah and kaafirs [mu'aamala]

-but we treat people in our homes w/o love and affection
-charity begins at home
-it's important to show love to wives and children
-and the sisters show to their husbands, too
-or they will become insecure and people who are insecure have affairs

3. PHYSICAL NEEDS have 8 categories:

1. food
2. drinks
3. clothing
4. shelter
5. oxygen
6. s-x (jimaa)
7. entertainment

-even the Prophet was entertained by his Sahabahs; we can do this on Eid

8. the need to defend ourselves
-the law of nature says we need to resist to exist

-if they did not defeat the Russians in the early 80s, Russia would have taken over the whole Middle East

FOOD: so food is a physical need [we all need it]
-this is a right of a woman to be provided for by her husband and
-according to Shariah, if he doesn't provide her basic needs,
-he loses his right to jimaa3 (s-x) w/ her
-we can't make love on a hungry belly!
-even kaafir men will take a woman to lunch before he takes her to zina / s-x
-there's no such thing as a free lunch

DRINK: in Saudi Arabia, the water is more expensive than petrol
-the 3rd World War might be fought over water
-if Allah withholds the rain, people will die
-when we refuse to pay zakah, Allah withholds the rain

"A people do not keep from giving the zakat on their wealth except that they will be kept from having rain from the sky. If it were not for the animals, it would not rain at all". (Ibn Maajah, according to al-Albaani it is Sahih, see Silsilat al-Hadeeth as-Saheehah, vol.1, Hadith No. 106)

we have a need and right to cover ourselves and clothe ourselves
-on Judgment Day, Allah will say my servant begged you for drink but you didn't give it to him

-you will forget conjugal rights / jimaa3 rights if you do not provide for your wife
-some men are house-husband who stays home and watches TV
-these men are lazy; but they are young and healthy but their wives do all the work

Abu Hurayra said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, will say on the Day of Rising, 'Son of Adam, I was ill and you did not visit Me.' The man will say, 'O Lord, how could I visit You when You are the Lord of the worlds?' He will say, 'Do you not know that My slave so-and-so was ill and you did not visit him? Do you not know that if you had visited him, you would have found Me with him? O son of Adam, I asked you for food and you did not feed Me?' He will say, ' , 'O Lord, how could I feed You when You are the Lord of the worlds?' He will say, 'Do you not know that My slave so-and-so asked you for food and you did not feed him? Do you not know that if you had fed him, you would have found that with Me. O son of Adam, I asked you for water and you did not give it to Me.' He will say, 'O Lord, how could I give You water when You are the Lord of the worlds?' He will say, , 'My slave so-and-so asked you for water and you did not give it to him. Do you not know that if you had given him water, you would have found that with Me?'" [Muslim]


-in Palestine, many die from kidney failure because of impure water
-the apartheid in Jerusalem is more brutal than that of South Africa
-because the Jews are the most evil in the world
-some with kidney failure are in their early 20s
-so this need for water is used as a weapon against Palestinians

S-X / JIMAA3 = this need is so strong, the Hanbalis allow masturbation

And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) (Al-Mu'minun 23:5)

Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; (Al-Mu'minun 23:6)

But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; (Al-Mu'minun 23:7)


-w/ items inside of her because it will rupture her virginity
-masturbation is only permitted when they fear zina
-because masturbation is a lesser evil than zina
-a virgin can not masturbate w/ any items inside of her
-the correct opinion of masturbation is Ibn Hanbal
-but this need is SO powerful, the Sahabahs wanted to castrate themselves
-'we will spend our lives in jihad and castrate ourselves'
-so the Prophet chose the lesser of the 2 evils,
-so he chose mut'ah [temporary marriage]
-so in the battlefield, they would marry girls to have for marriage [to have s-x]
-and the Prophet didn't stop them because their needs are so strong

-why do you think women can not be alone in a room w/ the door closed
-not even a shaikh, because he is still a man !

Muhammad (saw) said, “If a man and a woman are alone together in an isolated place, then the third is Shaitan.” Bukhari


-one was caught between the legs of a woman
-on the battlefield, he was a lion but off the battlefield, well he did zina
-Mugheera ibn Shu'bah is who was caught between the legs of a woman
-Umar interrogated the witnesses against him but they contradicted themselves
-the 4 witnesses were split up and asked what position were they in?
-they will describe the positions, which we won't write here
-so the judge has to dismiss the case because he doesn't have good evidence
-and given 80 lashes to the witnesses, as slanderers!

-so marriage becomes necessary
-the additives put in the food in the western countries
-causes women to develop faster
-then they start their menses / puberty faster and develop needs
-all the advertisements they see are about s-x .. so their needs are lured
-this is a need the same as oxygen; it must be fulfilled
-but the parents ignore the needs of their children
-they prefer to think their child has no needs
-but they could prevent zina by allowing their child to get married and live w/ them

When HAFSA became a widow
-Uthmaan didn't agree to marry her; Abu Bakr kept quiet and didn't give an answer
-see how wonderful Umar was.. he went looking for a husband for his daughter
-but in these days, parents are so jahil,
-they don't look after the needs of their children
-and Hafsa said when a woman reaches puberty or when a widow waits 4 months,
-they need s-x / jimaa3
-this is how Umar passed the law that no man can
-be away from his wife for more than 4 months
-Hafsa, his daughter, said oh, only 4 months... but today, 2011,
-brothers must jimaa3 w/ their wife at least once every 4 days

-they complain that their husbands can't keep up w/ their strong s-xual desires
-these sisters wants jimaa3 every day but the men only want it 3x a week
-when Shaikh speaks here, he is not done; he counsels
-people w/ these types of problems
-these are young men who can't keep up w/ their wives
-under Shariah law, the only way to take care of your s-x needs,
-nikah is fard [marriage is required]
-the moment you fear zina, nikah becomes fard
-it's compulsory upon sisters to maintain their chastity

Imam Malik didn't permit masturbation [23:5-7] but the s-xual need is so powerful

Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him." Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 76, Number 481

-that the correct opinion is Ibn Hanbal's

I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)


-it's compulsory upon us to maintain our chastity
-s-x is not a dirty thing in Islam because when we're married,
-we get barakah each time we go to bed w/ our spouse
-so if we're getting barakah, it can't be a dirty thing
-women w/ high libido get more barakah then women w/ low libido

to enjoin a good action is a charity, to forbid an evil action is a charity, and in the sexual act of each of you there is a charity." They said: "O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfils his sexual desire will he have some reward for that?" "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully he would be sinning ? Likewise, if he has acted upon it lawfully he will have a reward." MUSLIM

-if you have a libido [s-x drive] condition, then encourage your husband to do polygamy

-we did not cover yet

***the sisters who complain that their husbands can't keep up w/ them,
-are both born Muslim and reverts
-but they are from western countries
-so if you want to get married, can you keep up w/ your wife?
-but they tell Sh don't mention it to my husband to perform more properly

Lorena Bobbitt - in US, she cut off her husband's penis

-he wasn't cheating but he was a selfish lover
-she knew her own s-xual needs
-even niqabis take their s-xual needs very seriously

The Prophet said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and receive good news because one's good deeds will NOT make him enter Paradise." They asked, "Even you, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "Even I, unless and until Allah bestows His pardon and Mercy on me." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 76, No 474)

-men, you're not permitted to be a selfish lover so communicate w/ your wife
-especially re: her s-xual needs
-women fake their orgasms so they don't humiliate their husbands

-a woman wanted a divorce because the penis was too short
-'consummate the marriage first, then come back to me'
-if a man's penis is only 3" when erected, a sister
-can divorce her husband [Shariah law]
-Shaikh teaches PRACTICAL ISLAM .. the every day stuff we need to learn
-if you have a problem w/ length, go buy EXTENZE [tablets via the Internet for $11.00 per month]
-it solves pre-mature ejaculation and extends the life of an erect penis
-it solves erectile dysfunction
-go to a doctor to solve these problems;
-don't let your male ego get the better of you
-your wife has needs like every other woman!!!!!
-please do not be offended by this section of the dars
-this is a CLASSroom not a CHATroom

1. food
2. drinks
3. clothing
4. shelter
5. oxygen
6. s-x (jimaa)
7. entertainment

-if you can make a woman laugh, she is yours!
-so true!
-even if you are ugly!
-she'll know you can fulfill her entertainment needs
-no one wants a boring person
-life is stressful so who wants a boring person

'Aishah narrated that during the days of Mina, on the day of 'Eid al-Adha, two girls were with her, singing and playing on a hand drum. The Prophet (peace be on him) was present, listening to them with his head under a shawl. Abu Bakr then entered and scolded the girls. The Prophet (peace be on him), uncovering his face, told him, "Let them be, Abu Bakr. These are the days of 'Eid." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)


-sincere Muslimahs do that alone [dance, wear make-up
-just when the sisters are alone together]
-Shaikh doesn't impose niqaab on sisters; he gives them choice, because it's not fard
-leave his jama'ah if you don't like how he runs it w/ re: to women
-even the Sahabahs used to make the prophet (pbuh) laugh
-he sided w/ the alcoholic because he said he loved Allah

The report narrated by al-Bukhaari (6780) from ‘Umar, that there was a man at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) whose name was ‘Abd-Allaah, but his nickname was Himaar (donkey), and he used to make the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) laugh. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had had him flogged for drinking, then he was brought one day and he commanded that he be flogged, and a man who was there said, “O Allaah, curse him, how often he is brought [for this reason]!” But the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not curse him, for by Allaah what I know about him is that he loves Allaah and His Messenger.” al-Bukhaari (6780)

-so the entertainment industry is necessary
-we need to feel happy sometimes
-Hollywood and Bollywood are money-makers
-when Julia Roberts does a film, she gets paid 25 million dollars !!!
-yes, 25 million !!

ON EID DAY, Aisha and her friends were playing in the masjid
-the Rasool (saws) didn't complain about this
-entertainment is a need as other needs
-some say nasheeds are haraam but it's not

Ahadith about the singing girls, the Abyssinians playing with spears in the Prophet's Mosque, the Prophet's encouraging them by saying, "Carry on, O Bani Arfidah," his asking his wife, 'Aishah, "Would you like to watch?" and standing there with her until she herself became tired and went away, and 'Aisha’s playing with dolls with her friends. Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim

-the industries of needs are very lucrative
-SELF DEFENSE .. see 2:251 (it is a need)
-to sell arms is a multi-billion dollar industry


...And if Allah did not check one set of people by means of another, the earth would indeed be full of mischief. But Allah is full of Bounty to the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists). (Al-Baqarah 2:251)

-if the Afghanis didn't repel the Russians in the early 80s, they would have invaded all of the Middle East


-there's no Sabbath in Islam ... see 62:10

Then when the (Jumu'ah) Salat (prayer) is finished, you may disperse through the land, and seek the Bounty of Allah (by working, etc.), and remember Allah much, that you may be successful. (Al-Jumu'ah 62:10) whereas Allah has permitted trading and forbidden Riba (usury). So whosoever receives an admonition from his Lord and stops eating Riba (usury) shall not be punished for the past; his case is for Allah (to judge); but whoever returns [to Riba (usury)], such are the dwellers of the Fire - they will abide therein. (Al-Baqarah 2:275)

And that man can have nothing but what he does (good or bad), (An-Najm 53:39)

But seek, with that (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on you, the home of the Hereafter, and forget not your portion of legal enjoyment in this world, and do good as Allah has been good to you, and seek not mischief in the land. Verily, Allah likes not the Mufsidûn (those who commit great crimes and sins, oppressors, tyrants, mischief-makers, corrupts). (Al-Qasas 28:77)

It's better to sell fire-wood than to beg

When a man is always begging from people, he would meet Allah (in a state) that there would be no flesh on his face. [Muslim 33 Book 5 pg 2263]


-a person employed by a charity to beg, is permitted to beg
-Islamic workers are also allowed to beg because they work fisabilillah

-sometimes 1,000 people came
-the first speaker Shaikh did a conference w/ was Bilal Phillips
-who helped shaikh get into the university
-Shaikh didn't go to embassies for the needs of the conferences
-because the Muslims with stores [food, clothing] donated to help the conference
-all they did was ask for duaa
-these shared in the barakah of those who took Shahadah

-see the hadith where Muhammad sent Bilal to beg and the sisters gave their jewelry to him
-anyone who does not love the mujahideen are hypocrites -- salah is bautil behind them -- it is haraam to go to their janaza -- spit on their graves when they die


Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)

Abdullah Azzam .. the Palestinian scholar

“The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us: ‘O women, give in charity even if it is some of your jewelry.’ She said, ‘I went back to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud and told him. ‘You are a man of little wealth, and the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has commanded us to give charity, so go and ask him whether it is permissible for me to give you charity. If it is, I will do so; if it is not, I will give charity to someone else.’ ‘Abdullah said, ‘No, you go and ask.’ So I went, and I found a woman of the Ansar at the Prophet’s door that also had the question. We felt too shy to go in, out of respect, so Bilal came out and we asked him, ‘Go and tell Allah’s Messenger that there are two women at the door asking you: Is it permissible for them to give Sadaqah to their husbands and the orphans in their care? But do not tell him who we are.’ So Bilal went in and conveyed this message to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who asked, ‘Who are they?’ Bilal said, ‘One of the women of the Ansar, and Zaynab (radhiallahu anha)’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, ‘Which Zaynab is it?’ Bilal said, ‘The wife of ‘Abdullah.’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘They will have two rewards, the reward for uphold the relationship, and the reward for giving charity.’” 39 According to a report given by Bukhari

-fasting AND Qitaal have been prescribed for us

ALLAH used the keyword QITAAL -- you cannot tamper with this word --

The peak of the matter is Islam; the pillar is prayer; and its topmost part is jihad." [Nawawi's 40 Hadiths, No. 29]


- a Muslim woman should marry someone who is on her intellectual level
- if your daughter graduated from oxford, Harvard, etc.
- you’re not allowed to marry her to a man who is a janitor,
- who cleans toilets, that marriage is not wise
- the four great imams said : the marriage is valid,
- no one can say she is living in sin because she married a Muslim
- but if - she wants to divorce him with an annulment,
- it is her right because she married beneath her status

Kafaa'a = Equalness
- in Islam we have something called kafaa'a (equalness)
- compatibility and equalness in marriage
- if a woman prays 5 times a day, fasts in Ramadan, and wears niqaab/hijab
- it is haraam for her to married to a man who
- smokes weed, drinks, and doesn’t pray salah
- if your daughter is educated, you’re not allowed to marry her
- to a man who is illiterate because there is no kafaa'a
- if you marry someone who is beneath your status intellectually
- they will drag you down; this is called stunted growth
- Muslim women ask two questions before getting married:
- is he practicing? and is he educated?

- your intellectual need has to be catered for,
- and you cater for your intellectual need
- by marrying someone who is educated,
- and by reading the books of the good scholars, by intelligent people
- for example: the green book of Ghadaffi: he says women menstruate but men don’t
- why is he telling us this
- information which is known even by ten year old girls?
- don’t read books written by fools
- read books by ibn Kathir, ibn Taymiyyah, etc
- read books that were written by intelligent people
- when Shaikh Faisal was in university, he didn’t go to the book store
- his own shaikhs advised him to which books to read –

- hadith, seerah, etc. and they referred him to which books to read and buy
- shun the books of the munafiqeen
- abstain from the books of those who are brain dead
- cater for your intellectual need by marrying an intelligent person
- so when you have a conversation with them, the conversation
- will be intellectually stimulated
- when you sit and drink tea with your spouse, the conversation
- will be intellectually stimulating
- some men are intimidated by intellectual women -- they themselves are brain dead
- if you were not brain-dead, you will not be turned off by intelligent women
- if you are intelligent, intelligent women will turn you on
- sit with the scholars, and sit with people who are intelligent,
- and then you will cater for your intellectual need
- ALLAH SWT looks down upon the people who did not cater for
- their intellectual need or use their AQL

Verily! The worst of (moving) living creatures with Allah are the deaf and the dumb, those who understand not (i.e. the disbelievers). (Al-Anfal 8:22)


- if you don’t think for yourself, HE SWT called you a creature
- people who just watch TV and don’t read books become brain dead

It almost bursts up with fury. Every time a group is cast therein, its keeper will ask: "Did no warner come to you?" (Al-Mulk 67:8)

They will say: "Yes indeed; a warner did come to us, but we belied him and said: 'Allâh never sent down anything (of revelation), you are only in great error.'" (Al-Mulk 67:9)

And they will say: "Had we but listened or used our intelligence, we would not have been among the dwellers of the blazing Fire!" (Al-Mulk 67:10)

- how can you die the death of a Christian who
- believes God came out of a belly of a woman?
- how can you die a death of Hindu?
- who believe one of their false gods cannot see in the dark ( festival of light)
- how can you die as a Buddhist?
- who makes their own gods out of wood and stone ?

- YES we did have a warner (Muslim friends, co-workers, etc)
- then they themselves will say:
- IF only we had used our INTELLECT, our AQL
- we would not be among the dwellers of the hellfire
- the kuffar who don’t use their intellect have
- not catered for their intellectual need
- and they are the ones who will be dumped into the Hellfire
- you have lost your status as a man if you don’t think for yourself
-so then, and what are you? the WORST of beasts.

Verily! The worst of (moving) living creatures with Allâh are the deaf and the dumb, those who understand not (i.e. the disbelievers). (Al-Anfal 8:22)

- a stranger emails you and says: I have 10 million dollars,
- give me your bank account info so I can give you money
- if you give him the info and he robs you of your money then you are a FOOL
- you should say to the stranger, if you have 10 million dollars in your custody,
- why do you need my two thousand dollars ? (this is what you say to checkmate him
- if he asks for initial money
- you are downtown and a man approaches you and says :
- I have a diamond ring, its worth 5000 dollars but ill sell it for 1000
- are you stupid enough to think its a real diamond?
- Shaikh Faisal has seen a Muslim conned like this,
- he bought gold off the street and a month later the gold which was fake
- changed colors (proving it was fake)

The Prophet said: ‘A believer is not stung from the same hole twice.’(Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim)

- so why do you allow yourself to be tricked twice ?
- so you need to take care of your intellectual need
- read the books written by wise people
- shun the books of the fools
- marry a wise and educated person
- stay in the company of intelligent people
- shun the company of the fools
- when you come to PalTalk don’t go to chatrooms because those are places for
- spastics and retards who backbite and slander
- don’t go to chatroom when you come to PalTalk, go to CLASSROOMS
- where you are bombarded with QUR'AN AND SUNNAH
- especially in this month of Ramadan, you must look after your intellectual need