Wednesday, November 9, 2011

-218- [recap] Etiquettes of Islamic Gift-Giving


Recapping: The Etiquettes of Islamic Gift-Giving
by Shaikh Abdullah Faisal




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NOTES typed LIVE by AT-10 and AT-21
Edit and Formatting by AT-21 and AT-5

Bismillah ...

So when (the messengers with the present) came to Sulaiman (Solomon), he said: "Will you help me in wealth? What Allah has given me is better than that which He has given you! Nay, you rejoice in your gift!" (An-Naml 27:36)

LESSONS FROM THESE AYAHS:

1. WHEN WE GO TO VISIT SOMEONE, IT'S GOOD MANNERS TO BRING A GIFT


-especially if we're going to be a guest for a few days
-it's not proper adab to travel w/ our 2 long hands

If I were invited to a meal of a sheep foot I would accept, and if I were given a sheep foot as a gift, I would accept. [Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5178)]

Ibn Taymiyyah said we shouldn't ask for gifts
-but if offered, we should accept them
-when we refuse a gift from our ummah, we hurt their feelings
-so humility is expressed by accepting gifts [which is Sunnah]

Abd-Allaah ibn Masood (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: Accept invitations, do not refuse gifts and do not beat the Muslims. [Narrated by Ahmad in al-Musnad (1/404), and classed as Hasan by the editors of al-Musnad]

INSTRUCTIONS from Muhammad (saws):

1. Don’t' refuse gifts
2. Don’t turn down invitations
3. Don’t beat up the ummah

Ibn Umar said: Abu Moosa Al-Ashari gave a mat to UMAR’s wife Aatikah Bint Zayd, and I think that it was one cubit and a handspan. Umar saw it with her and said, Where did you get this from She said, Abu Moosa Al-Ashari gave it to me. Umar took it and hit her with it, then he said, Bring Abu Moosa to me. So he was brought to him and he (Abu Moosa Al-Ashari) said, don’t be hasty, O Ameer Al-Mumineen (Leader of the believers). Umar said, what made you give gifts to my womenfolk Then Umar took it and hit him with it, and said, take it, we have no need for it. [Taken from 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, His Life And Times, By 'Ali Muhammad As-Sallaabi, Vol. I, Pp. 134-135 & 251]

Recapping the ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES OF GIFT-GIVING


Abu Moosa Al-Ashari gave a gift to Umar's wife, Aatikah,
-and she was told to give it back
-it was a simple mat
-but Aatikah was told to give back the mat
-there are 2 opinions as to why she was told to return the gift:

1st opinion: he was jealous and protecting his wife
2nd opinion: people might say favoritism was taking place w/ Al-Ashari
-this opinion is correct, as Umar was not jealous of the gifts

ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES:

1. MUSLIM BROTHER CAN GIVE GIFT TO MARRIED SISTER IF THE HUSBAND APPROVES

-and if he is pious and of good character
-if he is munafiqh, the give becomes haraam

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (RH) said in Fath al-Baari (9/245-246): It was narrated that Aaishah (RA) said: The Messenger of Allaah (SAW) would accept gifts and reciprocate for them. [Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2585)]

2. WE'RE ALLOWED TO ACCEPT THE GIFT OF A KAAFIR

-as Hagar was given to Ibrahim from the king
-but yes there are exceptions
-but Mulqayqis gave Maria to the Rasool (pbuh)
-as a gift and he accepted it; it made A’isha jealous of it
-but he gave her sister to another Sahabah
-to Hasan, his poet, and both women gave birth each to one son
-when the Sahabahs were going to Egypt,
-he said "we have family ties w/ them"
-because Maria was now his family

3. WE ARE PERMITTED TO GIVE PAGANS A GIFT
-examples were the king of Aylah who gave a white mule
-Umar gave his pagan brother in Makkah a gift (a suit )

Umar (RA) gave a hullah (suit) to his mushrik brother in Makkah, as was narrated by al-Bukhaari (2619)

The Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) said, "I did not give it to you to wear but to sell or to give to someone else to wear." So Umar sent it to his (pagan) brother who was from the inhabitants of Mecca before he (Umar's brother) embraced Islam. From the hadith quoted above it seems like it is permissible to sell it or to give it to non-Muslims. Bukhari Vol 8 No 11

4. WE CAN NOT GIVE A GIFT TO A KAAFIR ON THEIR HOLIDAYS
, such as Christmas
-that makes you become a kaafir yourself
-because we're not to do the things they do
-we're not even permitted to give them a Christmas card or Easter card

5. WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES AND A KAAFIR WANTS TO GIVE YOU A GIFT, YOU SHOULD REFUSE IT
-on Christmas, Davila or Easter

Help you one another in Al¬ Birr and At¬ Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is Severe in punishment. (Al-Ma'idah 5:2)

-tell them to give you the gift on Eid Day
-it's shirk to give or accept a gift
-on their religious holidays IS SHIRK
-but for birthdays, it is NOT shirk
-because birthdays are not religious in nature
-some say: Ali received a gift on the day of a pagan festival
-and used 60:8 as their hujjah

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (RH) said: As for accepting a gift from them on the day of their festival, we have quoted above that ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib was brought a gift on the occasion of Nayrooz and he accepted it. [NO TAKHREEJ]

Allah does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion and did not drive you out of your homes. Verily, Allah loves those who deal with equity. (Al-Mumtahinah 60:8)


-that is a general ayah but the Christmas is a specific day
-to accept it on that day endorses their kufr
-we're not to celebrate their Christmas

** IF YOU'RE INVITED FOR A MEAL ON CHRISTMAS AND THE ANIMAL
WAS SLAUGHTERED FOR THAT PURPOSE, TO EAT IT IS HARAAM

**but if you live w/ the people who do this, we're not doing haraam
**because they are considered family and the Rasool said
-how important family is to us
-it's not good for the dawah to separate ourselves from the family
-so it's better for the dawah and bringing them to the deen to stay w/them

6. IF A KAAFIR GIVES YOU A GIFT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, IT IS NOT SHIRK
If you're a Muslim judge and 2 brothers are quarreling
-and you're assigned to settle their dispute
-you're not permitted to go to their homes for a meal
-the day before the judgment
-it is haraam for you to accept the invitation because it is a bribe
-Allah curses those who take bribes
-not every gift is innocent
-some gifts are meant to be a bribe
-if you have something which is haraam
-you can sell it to the kufaar

..from Abdullah ibn Amri that the Prophet (SAW) cursed both the receiver and the giver of bribe. [Tirmidhi 1342, Abu Dawud 3580, Ibn e Majah 2313, Ahmed 7003]

Umar (RA) gave a hullah (suit) to his mushrik brother in Makkah,
-as was narrated by al-Bukhaari (2619)

-when a kaafir dies, his body and soul is condemned in the hellfire forever and ever
-Abu Hanifa said you can sell alcohol to the kufaar
-we can sell alcohol or anything [if we live in darul harb]
-because they have no hope
-when you are living in darul harb you can sell them anything

7. IF A MUSLIM BORROWS MONEY FROM YOU AND HE REPAYS YOU BACK
-but also gives you something like sneakers, its halal
-the gift can be haraam because the gift can be riba
-you have to make sure what their intentions are
-but we're to ask why he is adding the sneakers [or gift]
-w/ the money so we know if it is haraam or halal
-you are not allowed to charge your Muslim brother riba

"Riba consists of seventy-three kinds of evil, and the least of them is like having sex with one's own mother" [Ibn Majah , al-Hakim and others].

-be careful of charging your Muslim brother riba
-Riba consists of 73 branches of sins
-one is like cohabiting with your mother inside the Ka'ba
-if you are in courtship with your fiancé and you shower her with gifts
-but she finds someone else, she has to return her gifts

8. IF YOU'RE W/ A FIANCÉ AND THE ENGAGEMENT BREAKS AND SHE BROKE THE ENGAGEMENT, SHE MUST RETURN YOUR GIFTS
-the engagement has been broken off

9. IF YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER AND A MAN IS INTERESTED IN HER FOR MARRIAGE and you do not like the man, when HE BRINGS HER A GIFT, YOU MUST REFUSE THE GIFT

10. IF YOU'RE ASKED TO SIGN A CONTRACT TO BE SUPPLIED W/ GOODS AND YOU DO NOT WANT THE CONTRACT, IF THEY SEND YOU A GIFT: REFUSE THE GIFT

-the gift is a bribe
-not all gifts are w/ sincerity

11. IF A MUSLIM PROPOSES TO A SISTER - AND SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM - SHE SHOULD REFUSE THE GIFT
-he is trying to ingratiate himself in her goodness
-do not accept the gift and turn down the proposal
-why did you accept the gift knowing you don't want to marry him?
-Ingratiate means to pamper a person until they fall in love with you
-"ingratiate" = Bring oneself into favor with someone
-by flattering or trying to please them
-they want you for something
-so if you have a daughter, do not let her take a gift
-from someone she is not interested in
-be careful w/ people ingratiating there selves w/ you

SULAIMAN and BILQIS:
-he refused Bilqis gift because he planned jihad against her
-She tried to butter him up
-"butter up" - to make them so slippery, they will believe anything
-the gift of Bilqis was to divert Sulaiman from his duty
-Sulaiman refused because he wanted to stay focused
-the fitnah he was removing was "shirk"

And fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief and polytheism: i.e. worshipping others besides Allah) and the religion (worship) will all be for Allah Alone [in the whole of the world[]]. But if they cease (worshipping others besides Allah), then certainly, Allah is All-Seer of what they do. (Al-Anfal 8:39)

Sulaiman didn't want Bilqis to divert him from his duty
-He had no choice to refuse her gift
-Americans are deep into royalty
-America loves royalty, not because they are republic
-if a royal family goes to America, they get red carpet treatment
-a huge party was held for princess Diana
-Grease came out in 1979
-you have to be a Hollywood star or politician to be invited to the party
-people do not refuse royal gifts
-For Sulaiman to refuse the gift of Bilqis, it was quite shocking

What Allah has given me is better than that which He has given you! Nay, you rejoice in your gift!” (An-Naml 27:36)

-whenever you are going to give dawah to people don’t accept gifts from them

12. A DAA’EE SHOULD NOT ACCEPT GIFTS WHEN GIVING DAWAH
-they will think ‘he has his eyes on my wealth’
-they will think you’re not sincere when inviting him to Islam
-he will become suspicious of you
-Habib, the carpenter, said to follow those
-who ask of you NO WAGES [36:21]

“Obey those who ask no wages of you (for themselves), and who are rightly guided. (Ya-Sin 36:21)

-this attitude of begging the kufaar, makes your dawah become counter productive
-if you are inviting them to Islam and accepting their gifts at the same time

[Then Sulaiman (Solomon) said to the chief of her messengers who brought the present]: “Go back to them. We verily shall come to them with hosts that they cannot resist, and we shall drive them out from there in disgrace, and they will be abased.” (An-Naml 27:37)

-her messengers had an ameer
-Bilqis’s palace had expensive jewelry there
-If the jinn are not trustworthy he would steal her jewelry

He said: “O chiefs! Which of you can bring me her throne before they come to me surrendering them in obedience?” (An-Naml 27:38)

An Ifrit (strong) from the jinns said: “I will bring it to you before you rise from your place (council). And verily, I am indeed strong, and trustworthy for such work.” (An-Naml 27:39)


-If the jinn are not trustworthy he would steal her jewelry

One with whom was knowledge of the Scripture said: “I will bring it to you within the twinkling of an eye!” then when [Sulaiman (Solomon)] saw it placed before him, he said: “This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for then when [Sulaiman (Solomon)] saw it placed before him, he said: "This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for (the good of) his ownself, and whoever is ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his ownself). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free of all wants), Bountiful." (An-Naml 27:40)

WHAT IS THE TAFSEER OF THIS AYAH: IT IS A JINN OR A MAN?
-Asif Bin Barkhiya
-Ibn Abbas said he had a secret
-he knew the holiest name of Allah
-when Sulaiman saw it (Bilqis’ throne) place before him he said,
-this is by the grace of my Lord
-anytime you are blessed with anything you should say this
-You should never be ungrateful

He said: "Disguise her throne for her that we may see whether she will be guided (to recognise her throne), or she will be one of those not guided." (An-Naml 27:41)

Bilqis came w/ 12,000 men

-when Bilqis left Yemen to come to Jerusalem her delegation was 12,000 men
-this was a battalion
-she had money so could afford the journey
-it was very easy for her

So when she came, it was said (to her): "Is your throne like this?" She said: "(It is) as though it were the very same." And [Sulaiman (Solomon) said]: "Knowledge was bestowed on us before her, and we were submitted to Allah (in Islam as Muslims before her)." (An-Naml 27:42)

Sulaiman gave Bilqis hujjah before he fought her

-this is Sunnah
-if they refuse the hujjah then we have no choice to punish them

Whoever goes right, then he goes right only for the benefit of his ownself. And whoever goes astray, then he goes astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear another's burden. And We never punish until We have sent a Messenger (to give warning). (Al-Isra 17:15)

And We never punish until We have sent a Messenger (to give warning). (Al-Isra 17:15)

Sulaiman wanted to establish the hujjah

-Yemen is far away from Syria
-when Jesus returns he is coming back in Syria

And that which she used to worship besides Allah has prevented her (from Islam), for she was of a disbelieving people. (An-Naml 27:43)

-we submitted ourselves to Allah in Islam as Muslim
-Sulaiman is making an excuse for Bilqis
-He is coming with an army they can't resist
-Sulaiman the wise preferred to establish the hujjah before he took arms against them

It was said to her: "Enter As-Sarh" [(a glass surface with water underneath it) or a palace], but when she saw it, she thought it was a pool, and she (tucked up her clothes) uncovering her legs, Sulaiman (Solomon) said: "Verily, it is Sarh [(a glass surface with water underneath it) or a palace] paved smooth with slab of glass." She said: "My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit (in Islam, together with Sulaiman (Solomon), to Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)." (An-Naml 27:44)

Sulaiman was very hygienic

-He had servants who kept his palace clean
-the tile in Sulaiman palace was made of glass
-water was underneath
-Bilqis thought she was stepping in a pool
-She lifted her dress, it showed her legs
-when she left her palace she left some men in charge
-to look after her palace especially her throne

She said: "My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit (in Islam, together with Sulaiman (Solomon), to Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)." (An-Naml 27:44)

-Sulaiman palace was more luxurious
-The bird brought back knowledge to Sulaiman
-The bird did not lie

THE CHESS GAME BETWEEN SULAIMAN AND BILQIS

SULAIMAN MOVE: sent her a letter

BILQIS MOVE: sent a gift

SULAIMAN MOVE: Sulaiman refused her gift
-returned the gift
-he said w/ the returned gift, we will come and fight you w/ my whole army

BILQIS MOVE: SHE CAME W/ HER 12,000 MEN AND EMBRACED ISLAM

-she was check-mated
-"check-mated" is not appropriate word because this is bigger than a chess game: this is someone's HEREAFTER
-the bird looked down upon her ibadah

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for accepting a gift from them on the day of their festival, we have quoted above that ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib was brought a gift on the occasion of Nayrooz and he accepted it.