Sunday, November 27, 2011

-226- The Fiqh of Islamic Etiquettes


THE FIQH OF ISLAMIC ETIQUETTES
by Shaikh Faisal

(evening dars: 11.26.11)

NOTES typed LIVE by AT-21 and AT-15
Edit and formatting by AT-21 and AT-5





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Bismillah...

THE FIQH OF ISLAMIC ADAB [ETIQUETTES]


1. ETIQUETTE OF EATING
-the sunnah of the Rasul is to say Bismillah first

‘Umar bin Abi Salaamah (RA) said: “When I was a young boy, I was in the care of the Messenger of Allah and my hand was wandering all over the plate [while eating]. So the Messenger of Allah said to me, “Young boy, mention the name of Allah [before you start to eat], eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.” (Bukhari #5061 & Muslim #2022)

-bismillah wa ala barakatiha is the dua before starting eating
-one of the children of umm Salaama was eating with the Rasul
-and his hand was everywhere
-so the Rasul told him not to and to start with Bismillah
-you eat with your right hand and eat in spot under you


YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DRINK IN SIPS
-3 sips
-it is not allowed to drink like the camel and it is better to drink sitting

"Do not drink water in one gulp (or one breath) like a camel, but take it in two or three installments (with breaks for breath). Take the name of Allah (recite "Bismallah") when you start drinking and praise Him (say "Alhamdullillah") when you finish. (Tirmizi)

-this is the sunnah
-the reason why you should drink in gulps is because
-you are not allowed to breath in water
-say Alhamdulillah when you finish drinking
-it is haraam to drink with your left hand

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SHARE YOUR FOODS WITH EVIL PEOPLE
-only righteous people should eat your food
-if you are asking your wife to prepare a meal for your guest
-it should be for pious people

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (RA) that he heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) say, “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832. Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this hadeeth is Hasan]

SOCIAL INVITES

-do not turn down an invite
-the worst food is that of a walima in which only the rich are invited
-the only time you can turn down an invitation is
-if the person is a faasiq and there will be music and haraam
-but if the person is a believer and you did not turn up then you have done haraam

Narrated By Abu Huraira: The worst food is that of a wedding banquet to which only the rich are invited while the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Apostle. [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 62, Hadith #106]

OVER-EATING

-the Rasul did not like obesity
-and said the big belly is a sign of regression for his ummah
-you are not allowed to eat in gluttony
-the big belly is a sign of hypocrisy
-you are not allowed to marry people who are morbidly obese
-because you will take their lifestyle

A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with little food) and a kaafir (unbeliever) or a hypocrite eats with seven intestines" (Bukhari)

WHICH HAND DO WE EAT WITH?

-the right hand is the sunnah
-it is haraam to eat with the left hand
-it's makrooh to blow on hot food or drink

IT IS MAKROOH TO BLOW ON HOT FOOD OR TEA
-this is not Islamic etiquette
-it is better you fan it

MEAT SLAUGHTERED BY JEWS AND CHRISTIANS
-this meat is allowed
-the ayat says you can marry their women and eat their meat (from the same surah)

Made lawful to you this day are At¬ Tayyibat [all kinds of Halal (lawful) foods, which Allah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, etc., milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits, etc.). The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals, etc.) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them....(Al-Ma'idah 5:5)

GIRLFRIENDS ....

-this verse tells you, you are not allowed to take their women as girlfriend

...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girl-friends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah and in all the other Articles of Faith [i.e. His (Allah's), Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al¬ Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers. (Al-Ma'idah 5:5)

-so eating their slaughter is allowed if the blood came out
-and they did not mention any name over it

EATING STUNNED ANIMALS
-the scholars of Islam have agreed that if the electricity used was of low voltage
-and then the cut then throat and blood came out
-then that meat is halal
-but if it is a high voltage and the animal died as a result then it is haraam meat

MEAT SLAUGHTERED BY NON MUSLIM, CHRISTIAN OR JEW
-this is haraam
-to eat their meat

CRITICIZING FOOD
-the Rasul never used to criticize food
-it's considered makrooh and ill-mannered

Abu Hurairah (RA) said: “The Messenger of Allah never criticized food at all. If he liked it he ate it, and if he did not, he left it.” (Bukhari #3370 & Muslim #2064)

EATING AT HALAL RESTAURANT WHERE THERE IS ALCOHOL SERVED

-eating at a restaurant where alcohol is served or at the shelve
-is not haraam
-because there is no connection between the food and the alcohol

EATING A MEAL ON CHRISTMAS DAY ...
-if you living under their roof and they cook for you then you can eat
-if you live on your own and they invite you, then its haraam to go
-if you do this you are celebrating their festival

IF MUSHRIK SLAUGHTERS AN ANIMAL AND CALLS THE NAME OF AN IDOL, NOT ALLAH....
-if you knew this and ate the meat its apostasy

Eat not (O believers) of that (meat) on which Allah's Name has not been pronounced (at the time of the slaughtering of the animal), for sure it is Fisq (a sin and disobedience of Allah). And certainly, the Shayatin (devils) do inspire their friends (from mankind) to dispute with you, and if you obey them [by making Al Maytatah (a dead animal) legal by eating it], then you would indeed be Mushrikûn (polytheists) [because they (devils and their friends) made lawful to you to eat that which Allah has made unlawful to eat and you obeyed them by considering it lawful to eat, and by doing so you worshipped them, and to worship others besides Allah is polytheism]. (Al-An'am 6:121)

IF A MUSLIM SLAUGHTERS AN ANIMAL AND RECITES IN THE NAME OTHER THAN ALLAH
-it is major shirk
-this is madhab of Imam Shafi'i and Ibn Hanbal

ETIQUETTES OF ENTERING HOMES AND ROOMS
-we're to knock 3x before we enter

The Prophet said: “One should seek permission thrice. If he grants you permission, [then enter] and if not, go back.” (Muslim #2153)

-when entering a home, we enter from the front door, not the back door
-if someone doesn't answer, we go back
-the desert Arabs [before Islam] were ill-mannered
-they went to the home of the Rasool (saws)
-and they didn't know who he was with (w/ which wife)
-so they went to the back door screaming for him to come out
-this was ill-mannered

Verily! Those who call you from behind the dwellings, most of them have no sense. (Al-Hujurat 49:4)

And if they had patience till you could come out to them, it would have been better for them. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-Hujurat 49:5)


-uncouth is the same as "ill-mannered"
-their being uncivilized made Muhammad only release 50% of their prisoners

WHEN WE GO INTO A ROOM ...
we're to knock on the door of bedrooms [more than 3 bedrooms]

Some one asked the Prophet (SAW) whether he had to ask permission for entering his mother's house. He said: “Yes.” That man said: “Except her no one lives in the house, and except me no servant she has!” The Prophet (SAW) said: “Do you like to see your mother nude?” The man said: “No.” Then the Prophet (SAW) said: “So ask permission -- from Mishkat, book xxii. ch. ii

Muhammad (saws) came to give us good morals - see 68:4

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THIS ADAB ....

-they go into one room after another w/o knocking

And verily, you (O Muhammad SAW) are on an exalted standard of character. (Al-Qalam 68:4)

ENTERING A TOILET ..
.
-knock on the door first

MUSLIM WOMEN WHEN THEY ARE ALONE...
-she can not open the door to a man unless she is w/ a son
-who is age 7 or 10 or older
-not even to the brother of her husband
-the age of common sense is "tamyeez"
-we can't open the door even to brother in law
-because he is considered death to women
-this is because when a man and woman are alone, the 3rd person is the shaitan

Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." [Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118]

Uqbah ibn Aamir (reports that Rasulullah said, Beware of mixing with women. An Ansari Sahaabi enquired, Oh Rasulullah, what about the brother-in-law?? At this, Rasulullah, The brother-in-law is death! (Sahih Bukhari Hadith5232; Sahih Muslim Hadith5638)

ETIQUETTES OF GIVING SALAAM

-give to those we know and do not know

The Prophet said: “You will never enter Jannah until you believe, and you will never believe fully until you love each other. Shall I not inform you of something that if you do it, you will love each other? Greet one another with ‘Salaam’.” (Muslim #54)

When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally. Certainly, Allah is Ever a Careful Account Taker of all things. (An-Nisa 4:86)


-return salaam w/ something better than given you
-if you are given salaam you are supposed to return with better
-or at least equal
-according to adab, the young should give salaam to the old

GIVING SALAAMS
-the one riding give salaam to the one not riding
-the small crowd should give salaam to large crowd
-the one walking should give salaam to the one standing

Abu Hurairah related that Rasulullah (saw) said, "Let the one who is driving give salaam to the one walking; let the one who is walking give the salaam to the one sitting; let those who are small in number (or alone) give salaam to those who are in a larger group and let the younger one give salaam to the elderly." Imaam Bukhari in his book Al Adabul Mufrad.


SAYING AS'SALAAM ALEIKUM ..
.
-if kaafir says it, only say Wa’aleikum
-if by a Muslim you should say wa alaikum salaam

GIVING SALAAM TO OUR UMMAH
-you are not allowed to boycott a Muslim brother for more than 3 days

Malik's Muwatta Book 53, Number 53.2.3 .... The Prophet said: It is not allowable for a believer to keep from a believer for more than three days.

-and the better of the 2 is the one who gives salaam first
-if you boycott him/ her for more than a year its like you have killed him

Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami said: I heard the Prophet PBUH) saying, "Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.'' [Abu Dawud].

-the one that gives salaam first has less pride
-he gets more barakah

BOYCOTTING A MUNAFIQH
-you are allowed to boycott a munafiqh
-we can boycott them indefinitely
-if the person is a Qadiyani or a Shia you can boycott them
-zindeeq is a heretic
-the hadith does not apply to munafiqh, murtad, zindeeq
-because they are PLASTIC MUSLIMS

NATION OF ISLAM [called 5 percent Muslim]
-we only give them Wa’aleikum
-if they should give you salaam, you say wa alaikum

IF SOMEONE CALLS MUJAHIDEEN KHAWARIJJ OR TERRORIST
-we do not return their salaam
-it is haraam to reply to them

IF SOMEONE WORKS FOR THE KAAFIR ARMIES ....
-its haraam to reply to salaam or go to their janaza

And never (O Muhammad SAW) pray (funeral prayer) for any of them (hypocrites) who dies, nor stand at his grave. Certainly they disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger, and died while they were Fasiqûn (rebellious, - disobedient to Allah and His Messenger SAW). (At-Tawbah 9:84)

-because he is a kaafir and a murtad
-same as a spy for the kuffaar

ETIQUETTES IN THE TOILET
-it is makrooh to give and answer salaam in the toilet

ENTERING A HOME
-say "As’salaam aleikum"
-even if no one is there you should say Assalaamu alaikum
-because the angels will answer
-the angels will say salaam to the people of paradise

(It will be said to them): Salaamun (peace be on you), a Word from the Lord (Allah), Most Merciful. (Ya-Sin 36:58)

-this is the hujjah of the scholars who say Arabic is the language of paradise

WHEN SNEEZING

The Prophet said: “When one of you sneezes, let him say, ‘Alhamdulillaah,’ his brother or companion should say to him, ‘Yarhamuk-Allahu,’ and the one who sneezed should say, ‘Yahdeekumullaah wa yuslihu baalakum.’ ” (Bukhari #5870)

WHEN ADAM WAS CREATED HE SNEEZED FIRST

-then Allah asked him to give salaam to the angels

RETURNING HOME AT NIGHT
-it is makrooh to return home at night
-you should not return home from a journey at night
-because your wife needs to prepare for you
-you cant see make up at night
-so it is sunnah to return daytime

GIVING SALAAM TO THE ONE WHO IS RECITING THE HOLY QUR'AN
do not give salaam to someone reciting Quran or making salah
-it is not allowed to do so

GIVING SALAAM AFTER EVERY SALAH IS A BID’AH
-we're not to say shalom to another Muslim
-it means you're a Jew

ETIQUETTE OF YAWNING
-suppress this because it's from Ibliss

The Prophet said: “Yawning is from the Shaytaan. When one of you feels like yawning, let him suppress it as much as he can. And if one of you yawns making sound, “Aahh!” Shaytaan laughs.” (Bukhari #3115)

SNEEZING IS FROM THE ANGELS

The Prophet said: “When one of you sneezes, let him say, ‘Alhamdulillaah,’ his brother or companion should say to him, ‘Yarhamuk-Allahu,’ and the one who sneezed should say, ‘Yahdeekumullaah wa yuslihu baalakum.’ ” (Bukhari #5870)


-yawning is from the shaytan but sneezing is from the angels

If a disbeliever says, “Alhamdulillah,” you should reply saying, “Yahdeekumullaah (may Allah guide you),” only. (Abu Dawood #5038 & Tirmidhi #2739)

-you are to make dua for your brother that sneezes
-if a kaafir sneezes you should say YAHDI KUMULLAH
-the Rasul will always cover his nose when he sneezes

Abu Hurairah (RA) related, that whenever the Messenger of Allah sneezed, he would put his hand or his clothes in front of his mouth and lower his voice [in doing so]. (Abu Dawood #5870)

ETIQUETTES OF BURPING

-it is makrooh to do so in public
-it is also makrooh to pass wind in public

Ibn ‘Umar (RA) said: “A man burped while in the company of the Messenger of Allah, and he said to him: ‘Save us from your burping, for the most satiated in this life will be hungry for the longest time on the Day of Resurrection.’ (Tirmidhi #2478)

ETIQUETTES OF JOKING

The Prophet said: “Let not anyone take his brother’s things (to anger him) seriously or jokingly.” (Abu Dawood 5003 & Tirmidhi #2160)


-don’t use it as a means to ridicule and mock your brothers
-this is called smear, smear and jeer

O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith
[i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimûn (wrong-doers, etc.). (Al-Hujurat 49:11)


-this verse gives us the etiquette of not ridiculing each other
-it is haraam and not makrooh to use jokes to ridicule them
-it is haraam to call your brothers bad nicknames
-such as someone who sleeps a lot and you call him Abu Laila
-or Abu Toa'am to someone who eats a lot
-"wetbacks" are Mexicans who swam across rivers to come to America [bad words]

Do not let your joking be untrue, leading you to lie to make others laugh. The Prophet said: “Woe to the one who lies in his speech to make people laugh, woe to him! woe to him!” (Abu Dawood #4990 & Tirmidhi #2315))

-don’t use offensive nicknames to your brothers
-we're not to say the word "coolie" or "house-niggar"
-those are people who sold out to the white man

ETIQUETTE OF SLEEPING
-when you sleep you say ALAHUMMA BISMIKA AMUUTU WA AHYAA
-when you wake up you say the dua below
-we say

Bismika Allahumah Wada'a to Jembi Allhamdu-lilaah-ilaah-illadhi ahyaanaa ba’da maa amaatanaa wa ilayh-in-nushoor

-the sunnah is to sleep on your back or right side
-do not sleep on your belly or left side
-its makrooh

Hudhaifa ibn al-Yamaan said: “When the Prophet would retreat to his bed, he would say: ‘BISMIKA amootu wa ahyaa.’ Meaning: With your Name I die and I live. Upon awaking, he would say: ‘Alhamdu-lillaah-illadhi ahyaanaa ba’da maa amaatanaa wa ilayh-in-nushoor.’ ” (Bukhari #5953)

TEACHING CHILDREN AND ETIQUETTES FOR THEM

-teach the kids to pray when they are 7
-beat them to pray when they are 10 and separate them on their beds

“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.” Abu Dawood (459) and Ahmad (6650)

SLEEPING UNDER THE SAME BLANKET

-it is haraam for 2 men or women to sleep under the same blanket
-because this leads to homosexuality
-it is not allowed to sleep on the roof of a house w/out a barrier
-because you may fall off and die
-doors should be closed on people who have sleep walking and sleep talking

ETIQUETTES OF JIMAA3
-say the dua above before going to bed with your wife
-it is halal to take off your clothing if going to bed with your wife
-you should make istinja before making love a second time in the same night
-it's haraam to make love to one wife in front of the other wife
-the bedroom door should be secured
-so that people will not barge in on you

EVERYTHING IN THE BEDROOM IS HALAL EXCEPT ANAL SEX
-it is haraam to have sex with her if she is menstruating
-if you do this you have to give away 4 and a quarter grams of gold
-if you go to bed with her while fasting you have to give kafaa’a
-foreplay is encouraged, to relax her body (for her to be ready)

Narrated By Ibn Abbas: The Prophet said, "If anyone of you, when having sexual intercourse with his wife, says: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibni-Sh-Shaitan wa jannib-ish-Shaitan ma razaqtana, and if it is destined that they should have a child, then Satan will never be able to harm him." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 62, Hadith #094]

IT IS HARAAM TO EXPOSE YOUR BEDROOM SECRETS

The Prophet said: “Indeed from the worst of people on the Day of Resurrection is one who has marital relations with his wife and then spreads her private matters.” (Muslim #1437)


-every s-xual position is halal
-the Sahabah used to go to have sex with their wives
-in any halal position in Mecca
-but in medina the doggy position was a taboo
-the missionary position is the woman on her back
-and the man gentle on top of her
-so Allah revealed 2:223

Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad ). (Al-Baqarah 2:223)

Ibn Abu Umar (RA) reported from Sufyan from Ibn Munkadir that he heard Jabir (RA)say, “The Jews used to say that if anyone has sex with his wife from the front but comes from the rear then their child will be sequent eyed. So this verse was revealed; “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.” (2: 223) [Tirmidhi 2989, Bukhari 21528, Muslim 1435, Abu Dawud 2163, Nisai 2163, Muslim 11038, Ibn e Majah 1925]


-this ayat was revealed to dispel the taboo
-talking during intercourse is allowed
-the hadith that says it's haraam to talk during intercourse is FABRICATED
-SMILING is allowed but not laughing [it's makrooh]
-it is compulsory on a man to go to bed with his wife every 4 days
-and women have the same right to do so
-women have same rights as men so they can ask for jim3aa
-Allah said they are equal in kindness

...And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (Al-Baqarah 2:228)

ETIQUETTE WHEN VISITING THE SICK

-the Rasul used to sit by the head of the sick and make a dua

When you visit the sick, invoke the supplication which has been narrated from the Prophet. When he would visit the ill, he would sit close to his head and say the following seven times: “Asalullaah al-‘Adheem, Rabb al-‘Arsh il-‘Adheem an yashfiyak.” Meaning: I beseech Allah, the Magnificent, the Lord of the Magnificent Throne, that He cures you. He said: “If Allah has written for him to live longer, he will be cured from this sickness.” (Saheeh ibn Hibbaan #2975)

-I ask Allah the Lord of the mighty throne to give you cure
-it is good to bring food to the sick if he is living by himself
-and make dua for him

RIGHTS OF MUSLIM OVER ANOTHER ARE 6............

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "The Muslim has six rights. (1) When you meet him, you should greet him. (2) When he invites you, you should accept his invitation. (3) When he asks you for counsel, you should counsel him. (4) When he sneezes and praises Allah, you should bless him. (5) When he is ill, you should visit him. (6) When he dies, you should follow him (i.e. his funeral procession)." [Sahih Muslim]


ETIQUETTES OF THE TOILET

When you enter the toilet, enter with your left foot and say: “Bismillah Allahumma inni a’uthu bika min al-kubthi wal-khabaa´ith.” Meaning: I begin with the Name of Allah, O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the male and female Devils. (Bukhari #142 & Muslim #375)


-we recite

"Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-khubthi wa’l-khabaa’ith"


-we cant' answer salaam from the toilet, either
-or to speak from there
-we're to use toilet tissue and then wash private parts
-to urinate only water
-to defecate, toilet tissue then water
-we can't pray till we make istinja
-when we're finished, we come out w/ our right foot

When you leave the toilet, exit with your right foot and say: “Ghufraanak.” Meaning: I seek your forgiveness. (Abu Dawood #30 & ibn Maajah #300)

We can't answer the call of nature under fruit trees
-you are not allowed to answer the call of nature in front of strangers
-or in the road where people walk
-do istinja when you done
-where fruits drop
-under a fruit tree like mango tree
-or where strangers pass by to take a rest under a shade
-we can't urinate in a hole because the jinns live there
-a Sahabah did this and he died

"The prophet SAAWS said: avoid the two cursed things. They said: and what are the two cursed things? He SAAWS said: whoever urinate in the roads people pass by, and under the shadows where they rest" (Muslim: 269) and others.

-you are not allowed to face or turn your back to the qiblah
-we can't face the Qibla [but only when we're outside in a desert]
-if you are in a building the rule does not apply
-it is haraam to wipe with your right hand
-compulsory on you to use left hand

Hadith - Ahmad, an-Nasa'i, Dawud, al-Hakim and al-Baihaqi Qatadah related from 'Abdullah ibn Sarjas who said, "The Messenger of Allah forbade urination into a hole." Said Qatadah, "What is disliked about urinating into a hole?" Said he, "It is the residence of the jinn." [Ibn Khuzaimah and Ibn as-Sakin classified it as Sahih]

Narrated By Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari: Allah's Apostle said, "If anyone of you goes to an open space for answering the call of nature he should neither face nor turn his back towards the Qibla; he should either face the east or the west." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 1, Book 4, Hadith #146]