Friday, December 23, 2011

-242 The Muslim Home


THE MUSLIM HOME
by Shaikh Abdullah Faisal


NOTES typed LIVE by AT-21 and AT-15
Edit and formatting: AT-21, AT-42, AT-5





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Bismillah...


MARRIAGE in Islam is a crucial institution
-because the family is the foundation of the society
-when you have pious parents, they produce pious children
-those who are broken up in broken homes
-are the criminal elements of society

Thus We have made you [true Muslims - real believers of Islamic Monotheism, true followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah (legal ways)], a Wasat (just) (and the best) nation, that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger (Muhammad) be a witness over you. (Al-Baqarah 2:143)

-the Muslims are a balanced nation ... therefore,
-celibacy, as the Catholics do or being a gigolo, (who do promiscuity), we do not do:
-instead, we do nikah

I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

Some Companions went to Aisha (r.a.)

-to ask about the Rasool's salah in private
-she said he worships until his knees hurt
-so they felt they do not do enough for Islam

Anas reported that some of the companions of Allah’s Messenger (saw) asked his wives about what he performed in private. Someone among them said, “I will not marry women, someone else said, “I will not eat meat” another one said, “I will not lie down in bed”. He the Prophet (saw) Praised Allah and Glorified Him and said: “What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and I sleep too, I observe fast and I suspend observing them, I marry women also, and he who turns away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with me.” (Sahih al Bukhari (Arabic/English) Vol.7 pg No.1 Sahih-Muslim, English translation Vol 2 pg 703 N0.3236)

There is no such thing as a gay Muslim
-because the Rasool (saws) said he marries woman
-the modernists want to accommodate this deviancy

Question:
What is the hukm to nikah? Is it compulsory or Sunnah?

The verdict:
Nikah becomes compulsory on you when you have needs
-and fear falling into zina
-this is the agreement of all 4 scholars of Islam
-when something is compulsory and it has a pre-requisite
-the pre-requisite also becomes compulsory

Examples:
We are required to do wudhu before salah = so both are compulsory
-being chaste is compulsory, so nikah is compulsory
-if it’s needed to do "chastity"
-if you study Usool ul-Fiqh, you know we have to do both sometimes
-another example… if you're unable to get married,
-then fasting is prescribed for you

'Abdullah (b. Mas'ud) reported that Allah's Messenger said to us: O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it should observe fast, for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire. Hadith - Muslim, #3233

According to Aisha (r.a.),

-if you're not mad or physically disabled,
-then you are suitable for marriage (and she never mentioned money)

A woman came from the desert to propose to the Rasool,
-so we see that woman can propose to men; this is halal
-women seldom do this because they can't cope w/ rejection
-most men can cope but not all of them

Some sisters tell Shaikh they are not married
-because no one proposed to them
-but he says propose to the brother!
-their cultures don't permit it (Nigeria, 2008)
-the Rasool didn't accept her proposal
-because he did not need to marry her then
-he married strategically
-he built bridges w/ his marriages and other reasons,
-such as from 2 different tribes so they stop arguing
-a Sahabah said if you're not going to marry her, can I
-Abu Shafi'i said if you are a teacher
-THAT can be your dowry (to teach her)

Sahl ibn Sad Saidi (RA) reported that a woman came to Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and said, “I submit myself to you”. Then, she stood for a long time. A man said, “0 Messenger of Allah, marry me to her, if you do not need her”. He said, “Do you have anything to give her (by way of dower)?’ He said, “I have nothing but this lower wrapper of the body”. So, Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “If you give it to her then you will sit and have no lower garment on you. So, Look out for something else”. He said, “I do not find”. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Search, even if you find an iron ring”. He said, “I sought but could not find anything”. So, Allah’s Messenger asked him, “Do you have with you anything of the Qur’an?” He said, “Yes, That surah, and that surah. So Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “I marry you, to her with what you have of the Qur’an”. [Tirmidhi, Ahmed, Bukhari, Muslim, Nisai]

LESSONS FROM THIS HADITH :
- A WOMAN IS PERMITTED TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE
- THE RASOOL MARRIED STRATEGICALLY
- THE SAHABAHS PUT THEIR TAWAKKUL IN ALLAH
- THE WOMEN OF MAKKAH WERE SHY BUT NOT THOSE FROM MADINAH
- A PROPER DOWRY CAN BE TO TEACH A WOMAN TO RECITE QUR'AN PROPERLY
- IF YOU'RE A TEACHER, YOU CAN CHARGE PEOPLE MONEY TO LEARN QURAN

"Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life." (Tirmidhi 1661, Nisai 3120, Ibn e Majah 2518, Ahmed 9637)


Some Sahabahs were living in the masjid
-and Abu Hurayrah related to them ::

Once a girl fell in love w/ a Sahabah (who was living in the masjid)
-and she proposed to him but he was hesitant
-she invited him to live in her home
-so he didn't need to live in masjid anymore
-but he didn't want to because she was a prostitute
-she said she would feed him so he didn't need to pay lodging
-then Allah revealed:

Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karim (generous provision i.e. Paradise). (An-Nur 24:26)

-evil women are for evil men and vice versa
-good women are for good men and vice versa
-that is the tafseer of 24:26

TO BUILD A MUSLIM HOME: MARRY A PIOUS WOMAN
-before you marry, ask yourself if you'd like that woman
-to be the mother of your children
-or that man to be the father of your kids?
-if the answer is NO .. you're not permitted to accept the proposal
-every man is a male but not every male is a man

Men who marry kaafir women live to see their children become kaafirs
-because they have no al walaa wal baraa
-all they have on their mind (the men) are pleasures of the flesh
-they are pitiful, appalling and pathetic

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. [Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27]

GUIDELINES OF NIKAH:

-it should be done for His sake only

Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Verily, my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists). (Al-An'am 6:162)

"He has no partner. And of this I have been commanded, and I am the first of the Muslims." (Al-An'am 6:163)


Our living and dying is for HIM, so should our nikah be
-we can't marry people who are drinking or on drugs
-women who marry these types of men end up in a mental home
-when you do ANYTHING in life: it needs to be fisabilillah
-people on drugs and alcohol can't become good role models
-women w/ low self esteem marry these types of men
-people w/ low self esteem make dangerous decisions

"Rabbana atina fid-dunya hasanatan wa fil 'akhirati hasanatan waqina 'adhaban-nar."

And of them there are some who say: "Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!" (Al-Baqarah 2:201)

The prophet said: "Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal." (Reported by Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)

WHAT IS THE GOODNESS OF THE DUNYA

a) PIOUS WIFE
b) A SPACIOUS HOME
c) RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION
d) PIOUS NEIGHBOR

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. [Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27]

The hadith says a man marries a woman for 4 reasons:
- BEAUTY
- NOBILITY
- PIETY
- WEALTH

The Rasool
said go for the woman w/proper deen
-otherwise, you'll be a loser
-the one w/ deen helps you enter Paradise

Narrated Ma'qil ibn Yasar: A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and he (the Prophet) said: Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples by you." Abu Dawood Book 11, Number 2045

GOOD WOMEN HAVE THESE QUALITIES

-- THEY PROTECT YOUR VALUABLES WHEN YOU'RE GONE
-- WHEN YOU LOOK AT HER, SHE PLEASES YOU
-- WHEN YOU COMMAND HER, SHE OBEYS YOU

One day a Sahabah fell in love w/ a woman
-whom he wanted to propose to her but she could not give birth
-the Rasool said marry those who can give birth

On the authority of Ma’qil ibn Yasar who said: “a man came to the Prophet(saw) and said, ‘I have found a women of noble rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He(saw) said: ‘No’. He (the man) came to him again but the Prophet prohibited him. He came to him the third time and the Prophet said: ‘Marry women who are loving and very fertile, for I shall out number the peoples by you’. (Ibid Vol.2 pg545)


THE CHILDREN ALLAH GIVES US

-some marriages will have boys only
-or girls only
-or boys and girls
-and some are barren

**We don't all have the same: Allah gives us what He wills

The Prophet (SAW) said: "When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: Sadaqah jaariah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him." (Reported b al-Tirmidhi, no 1376; he said this is a saheeh Hasan hadeeth)

HUSBANDS AND WIVES:

-you are garments for each other

It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of As-Saum (the fasts). They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and you are the same for them. (Al-Baqarah 2:187)

GARMENTS:
keep you warm when you're cold,
-so comfort each other, as the garments comfort you
-it hides shame and nakedness, so hide each others' fault
-they protect us, so as on construction sites,
-people wear shoes w/ metal and helmets
-so we should protect our husbands and wives
-we're not permitted to take sides w/ someone against our spouse
-garments give us confidence, so give each other confidence
-and don't put each other down
-do not do 'name calling'
-when you're arguing, you're not giving confidence
"happy w/ deen" = he has good character

“When someone whose character and morals are agreeable to you approaches you for marriage give your daughter to him in marriage. If you do not then there will be tribulation and immense corruption in the earth.” Abu Hatim al-Muzani and confirmed by Abu Dawud

‘The worst among you are your bachelors!' (Marriage quotes from Abu Ya'la and Tabarani.)


-bachelors do no good when they are not married;
It’s too easy to do haraam

Haraam ways that SPERM is spilled:
1 Masturbation (Maliki does not permit this)
2 Fornication
3 Adultery
4 Homosexuality
5 Rape
6 Incest
7 Bestiality


FOUNDATIONS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

A. ISLAM

-therefore, marry someone on the deen (same religion)
-do not be unequally yoked

B. TAQWAH
-stay away from those who call themselves Muslims but do not practice
-Islam is not enough; the person must have piety
-many Muslims drink alcohol or take drugs so they are not marriage figure
-most drug addicts are impotent (a reason for divorce)

C. LOVE
-you must marry w/ chemistry

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. (An-Nisa 4:3)

"Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on Qiyama." Ahmad, Abu Daud and others and it is Sahih.


-you must marry according to what attracts you:
-some prefer large, short, black, white, And Asian
-marry who you're attracted to ....
-Asians (Pakistan, Indian, Bangladeshi)

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS TO LOWER YOUR GAZE
-so you must be attracted to her

THE 5 TYPES OF LOVE
- spiritual
- emotional
- physical
- divine
- haraam


-haraam love is unconditional love (kuffaar) do this
-we're only allowed to love Allah, His Rasool and the Sahabahs unconditionally

D. MERCY
-do not dump a wife if she has a fault (look at her good points)

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah (SAW), said, "Treat women well. Woman was created from a rib. The most crooked part of the rib is the top part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it, it remains crooked. So treat women well." [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

E. FORGIVENESS

-some of you divorce a lot because you are Khawarijj
-they never forgive mistakes (and we all make them)
-they can't forgive (these are puritans)

Abdullah b. Umar said that Rasulullah saw said :"The Merciful One shows mercy to those who are themselves merciful (to others). So show mercy to whatever is on earth, then He who is in heaven will show mercy to you " ( Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi )

F. COOPERATION

-cooperate in the burden and tasks of the marriage
-do not be selfish
-don't argue w/ each other and name call
-name calling was made haraam in the Quran

O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimûn (wrong-doers, etc.). (Al-Hujurat 49:11)

Name calling makes respect leave the marriage
-love and respect are needed for a successful marriage

Allah made wives for men to find comfort in
-so arguing every day does NOT provide comfort

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

LIVE QUIETLY IN YOUR HOME

-neighbors should not hear name calling and shouting
-we are not animals; we're a balanced nation
**Shaikh would pack his bags if a woman yelled at him and neighbors heard**

G. TRUST
-you should trust each other
-a good woman has 3 qualities

"The best woman (wife) is the one whom, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, when you are not in her presence she safeguards herself and your belonging. Ibn Majah, 1/595/ Kitab al Nikah, Bab Haqq al- Zawj.

IF A MAN CALLS HIS WIFE TO BED, SHE MUST GO

-when she is busy cooking by the oven and he calls her,
-she should turn off stove and go to him!!
-some women will hit you in the head - teasingly - and say I am busy!!

Allah's Messenger said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven." Al-Tirmidhi 3257, narrated Talq ibn Ali

Vocabulary: tanuur = oven

THE PILLARS OF A NIKAH

1st PILLAR OF MARRIAGE: A WALI IS NEEDED


"When a woman marries without the permission of her wali, then her marriage is not valid, not valid, and not valid." (Ahmad, Tirmidhi and others)

-every girl should have a wali (father, grandfather, brother, uncle)
-w/o one, they marry a shaitaan because women are emotional
-some girls will fall in love w/ a man because of their accent
-a wali will prevent this because he will interview the brother
-if you have an 18 y/o girl whose father is 50:
-who knows more about men (her or her daddy)?

Abu Haneefa said a woman does NOT need a wali to get married
hadith...fornicators marries herself off

Al-Daaraqutni: narrated from Abu Hurayrah (ra) that the Prophet (saws), said: "A woman has no right to marry another woman off, nor has she the right to marry herself off as it is only an adulterer/fornicator woman who marries herself off."

IF YOU MARRY W/O A WALI, YOUR MARRIAGE IS BAUTIL BAUTIL BAUTIL


It is narrated from Ahmad, Abu-Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah from the Hadeeth of Ibn Abbaas (r.a) and his father, as well as Abu Moosaa (R.A) that the Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:" Marriage is invalid without the Waliyy

Umar
separated a couple who married w/o a wali and gave them lashes each
-if a woman is a revert from Christianity, you must appoint a wali
-the wali vets [inspects] to see if the brother is marriage material

If a woman marries w/o a wali - what is the hukm?
-can we say she is living in sin or her kids are bastards?
-if a girl is following Hanafi madhab ..
-what do we say to her as Abu Haneefa said the hadith is for slave girls
-her marriage is hanging in the balance
-because she is following a madhab
-if the brother turns out to be Shia, Qadiyani or Talafi,
-Goofi Soofis, their marriage is BAUTIL
-she can only live w/ him if a Shaikh pronounces her marriage SAHIH
-if the marriage is bautil, she must separate from the man
-and her kids are bastard
-if a Muslimah has a father who is Muslim
-but he has a disease of the heart such as racism
-she CAN appoint a new wali
-but if he rejects the man because of the man's evil character,
-she can NOT appoint a new wali
-if he has a valid reason, you must follow your father

Do NOT ask a woman if she has any "needs"

'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.] (Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.)

MEN IN ISLAM DO NOT HAVE A WALI

-we can not make it fardh for them to have a wali,
-this is a bid'ah in fiqh, aqeeda and manhaj
-to call for Shariah in darul harb is bid’ah in manhaj
-bid'ah in aqeeda is when someone does kufr akbar
-and we say we don't make takfir until they make it halal w/ their tongue

WE HAVE BID'AH IN FIQH, AQEEDA AND MANHAJ

2nd PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: WITNESSES

a) 2 men who are Muslims or a man and woman (or 4 women)
b) witnesses: 2 men or a man and 2 women
-so we need less men than women

On the authority of Ibn Abbas (RA) Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “There is no marriage except with a guardian and two trustworthy witnesses.” (Bayhaqi and Daraqutni)

3rd PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: MAHR (dowry)

-the mahr (the marriage gift)
-there is no maximum or minimum
-it is how much the husband can afford and the tradition of the country
-the hadith did not set a limit

If 2 men have 2 daughters
-and each gives the daughter to the other man
-they are not permitted not to give a mahr (dowry)
-Islam is not oppressive

4th PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: RIDDAH (PROPOSAL and ACCEPTANCE)
-the riddah (proposal and acceptance)
-no one should be forced; both should be in agreement

Also on the authority of Anas that he said: "The Prophet (saws) married Safiya, and her freedom was her dowry. He gave the banquet after three days." (from Adaab Az-Zafaaf)

O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. (An-Nisa 4:19)

FORCED MARRIAGES are not permitted in Islam

-arranged marriages are permitted

It was narrated from 'Aishah: "A girl came to her and said: 'My father married me to his brother's son so that he might raise his own status thereby, and I was unwilling.' She said: 'Sit here until the Prophet (SAW) comes.' Then the Messenger of Allah (SAW) came, and I told him (what she had said). He sent word to her father, calling him, and he left the matter up to her. She said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I accept what my father did, but I wanted to know whether women have any say in the matter."' [Sunan An-Nasa’i (Arabic/English), Vol 4, p.124-125, Hadith #3271]

The Rasool said a woman's marriage is bautil if it was forced
-all marriages are "arranged" (we need a date and venue)

ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE BETTER THAN LOVE MARRIAGES
-they last longer than love marriages
-because some loved ones are based on lust and not deen

Arranged marriages can be a disaster if the wali is jahil
-he might recommend you to a Barelvis
-but it's a blessing if the man is on deen

Narrated By Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (SAW) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (SAW) allowed her to exercise her choice. [Abu Dawud, Book 5, Hadith #2091]

THE RIGHTS OF THE WIFE
a) FOOD
b) CLOTHING
c) SHELTER

-if you do not give the wife $$ to go shopping for weekly needs,
-you lose your SE-XUAL rights (conjugal rights)

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.(An-Nisa 4:34)

SHAIKH IN AFRICA

-when he said this the women were SO happy
-the men were SO upset
-they love sister only conferences in Africa
-he's been there 2x and they love him there
-many men are house-husbands while they send their wife out to work

5TH PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: MEN CAN’T ABUSE WIVES AND THEN GO TO BED W/ THEM
-you can't abuse her physically or verbally and then go to bed w/ her

6TH PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: IT’S NOT PERMITTED TO KISS OR JIM3AA IN FRONT OF THE OTHER WIFE
-you can not kiss one wife in front of the other
-or go to bed in front of each other
-(there's no threesomes in Islam)
-this is emotional abuse and it is haraam

7th PILLAR OF MARRIAGE: YOU MUST PROVIDE OFT-TIME ACTIVITY (RECREATIONAL)

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: while she was on a journey along with the Apostle of Allah (pbuh): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping. (Hadith number: 2572 'Jihad (Kitab Al-Jihad)' of Sunan Abu-Dawud)

8TH PILLAR OF MARRIAGE :: YOU MUST FEEL JEALOUS OVER HER

Ibn Al-Qayyim, Rahimahullaah, said: "And the Dayyouth (the man with no jealousy over the women in his family) is the most vile of Allah's creation, and Jannah is forbidden for him, (because of his lack of Ghayrah - jealousy).

Abdullah ibn Umar reported that the Prophet said: "Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth." (Ahmad)

A woman is not allowed to flirt
w/ another man to see if her husband is jealous
-in western countries, the kuffaar do "wife swapping"
-keys to homes are in a jar and the woman picks a
-pick and goes to that mans' home
-her husband goes to another's home

Or do you think that most of them hear or understand? They are only like cattle; nay, they are even farther astray from the Path. (i.e. even worst than cattle). (Al-Furqan 25:44)

HUSBANDS AND WIVES HAVE RIGHTS OVER EACH OTHER

...O People it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have right over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your rights, then to them belong the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste... [From The last sermon of the Prophet (SAW) also known as Khutbatul Wada’. It is mentioned in almost all books of Hadith. Sahih Al-Bukhari refer to the sermon and quoted part of it. See Al-Bukhari, Hadith 1623, 1626, 6361) Sahih of Imam Muslim also refers to this sermon in Hadith number 98. Imam al-Tirmidhi has mentioned this sermon in Hadith nos. 1628, 2046, 2085. Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal has given us the longest and perhaps the most complete version of this sermon in his Masnud, Hadith no. 19774]

THE RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND

1. THE WIFE SHOULD OBEY HIM

-if not, he does not need to maintain her financially
-a disobedient wife loses her rights

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning." (Bukhari, Vol. 4, Number 460)

LESSONS FROM THIS HADITH

A WOMAN IS NOT ALLOWED TO REFUSE HUSBAND'S CALL TO BED OTHER THAN A VALID REASON

-fasting in Ramadan
-she has her menses
-she is ill
-or bleeding after child birth
-if he does not pray (because he is a kaafir)

ANGELS HAVE THE POWER TO CURSE

A REAL MAN IS NOT IMPOTENT

-an impotent man can't call his wife to bed

A REAL MAN HAS DOMINION OVER HIS WIFE
-he can call her to bed as often as he wants

A REAL MAN CALLS A WOMAN TO BED NOT CALL ANOTHER MAN

S-X IS IMPORTANT IN ISLAM TO THE EXTENT THE ANGELS CURSE WOMEN
WHO DO NOT PROVIDE IT

-s-x in marriage (jim3aa)

JIM3A / S-X IS AN ACT OF IBAADAH
-because you get barakah for giving your husband s-x
-if you refuse it, you're cursed

OBEDIENCE IS SO IMPORTANT THAT THE RASOOL SAID if ..........

If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. [Hadith: Sunan Abu Dawud, 11:2135]

Umm Salamah (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, Any woman, who spends the night while her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise. [Tirmidhi 1164, Ibn e Majah 1854]


The husband who obeys Allah is the one who deserves obedience

Woman whose husband was pleased w/ her, when she dies she goes to Paradise

The Prophet said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise. Transmitted by Tirmidhi, Narrated Umm Salamah

"If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses and in that she upsets him, the angels will continue to curse her until the morning." [Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

2. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PREFER ANYONE OVER YOUR HUSBAND

-not even your parents

3. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING HOME PEOPLE THAT YOUR HUSBAND DISLIKES
-he should choose your friends

4. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FRIENDS / ASSOCIATES WHOM HE DISLIKES

5. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LEND OUT HIS BELONGINGS BEHIND HIS BACK / WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION

-ex. his car while he is on Hajj
-she can use itijihad (cause she would know if he minds)

6. SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE HOME W/O HIS PERMISSION
-not for shopping or other reasons (he should give permission and know where she is)
-she can leave for necessities only and only if she can not contact him

7. SHE IS NOT PERMITTED TO BE IN SECLUSION W/ NON-MAHRAM
-without permission of her husband

Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab: The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." [Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118]

Rasulullah (saws) stated: “Brother in law is death.” Book 26, Number 5400, Imaam Muslim.

Uqbah ibn Aamir (reports that Rasulullah said, Beware of mixing with women. An Ansari Sahaabi enquired, Oh Rasulullah, what about the brother-in-law?? At this, Rasulullah, The brother-in-law is death! (Sahih Bukhari Hadith5232; Sahih Muslim Hadith 5638)


ZINA is easy to do w/a brother-in-law
-because he is so much like his brother

8. SHE IS NOT PERMITTED TO LET OUT THE S-XUAL SECRETS OF HER HUSBAND
-unless she or he are getting counseling
-this rule applies to both

On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: " Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]


ADVICE TO MAKE THE HOME A PROPER MUSLIM HOME

1. MARRY A PIOUS PERSON


MEN PROPOSE TO WOMEN FOR 4 REASONS:
-STATUS, WEALTH, BEAUTY AND DEEN - THE RASOOL SAID GO FOR HER DEEN

It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said: “There are four things that are essential for happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious home, a good neighbour and a sound means of transportation. And there are four things that make one miserable: a bad neighbour, a bad wife, a small house and a bad means of transportation.” [Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in al-Saheehah (1232)]

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27


OUR MARRIAGE IS FESABILILLAH NOT PLEASURES OF THE FLESH
-a pious wife ill give you pious children
-to pray for you when you are in the grave
-abstain from the munafiqeen and shaiteen, the murtadeen

A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution)." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

THE HASANATS OF THE DUNYA:
PIOUS WIFE
RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION
PIOUS NEIGHBOR
SPACIOUS HOUSE


-a wife who gives you headache, get a wife who complains and a car that breaks down
-Luqman the Wise said the heaviest thing he had was a bad neighbor

2. SUPERVISE HER EEMAN
-encourage your partner to fast on Mondays and Thursdays
-encourage her to wake up for Witr

Narrated 'Aisha: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to offer his night prayer while I was sleeping across in his bed. Whenever he intended to offer the Witr prayer, he used to wake me up and I would offer the Witr prayer too. Sahih Bukhari HADITH : Volume 2, Book 16, Number 111

-encourage her to read Islamic books (in Arabic esp)
-Jews love their language more than we love Arabic
-encourage the wives to learn the duaas
-and to listen to Islamic nasheeds
-is your wife jahil?
-make sure she does not have evil companions
-people who say they are non-practicing Muslims are KAAFIRS

The Rasool said ... all of you belong to the religion of your friends ***

The Prophet (saw) said: “A man will follow the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look to who he takes a close friend.” (Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, 2378)

On Judgment Day, a man will cry out I WISH DIDN'T CHOOSE SO AND SO FOR MY FRIENDS

"Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (Al-Furqan 25:28)


-women like to gossip and back-bite
-women in the west are secularists, rationalists, feminists
-some hijabis sister's get 4 divorces
-no man can live w/ them
-some will try to explain Qur'an by their aql
-you can't say DON’T HAVE EVIL FRIENDS
-and then you have evil friends
-shaiteen can not be your friend

O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? (As-Saff 61:2)

Most hateful it is with Allah that you say that which you do not do. (As-Saff 61:3)

Enjoin you Al-Birr (piety and righteousness and each and every act of obedience to Allah) on the people and you forget (to practise it) yourselves, while you recite the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)]! Have you then no sense? (Al-Baqarah 2:44)

MAKE YOUR HOME A HOME WHERE ALLAH'S NAME IS MENTIONED AND A PLACE OF QIBLA

-make your home a place where Allah's name is mentioned
-have a halaqa in your home; better than backbiting there

MAKE YOUR HOME A PLACE OF IBAADAH AND WHERE YOU PERFORM SALAH

Jabir reported Allah's Messenger (SAW) as saying: When any one of you observes prayer in the mosque he should reserve a part of his prayer for his house, for Allah would make the prayer as a means of betterment in his house. [Sahih Muslim, Book 4, Hadith #1705]

and make your dwellings as places for your worship, and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give glad tidings to the believers." (Yunus 10:87)
Zayd ibn Thabit reported that the Prophet (SAW), said, "O people, pray in your houses. The best prayer is a man's prayer in his house - except for the obligatory prayer." [al-Bukhari and Muslim, Riyadus Saliheen #1128]

Jabir reported said that the Messenger of Allah (SAW), said, "Any of you who does all his prayers in the mosque, should do some of them in his house, for Allah will put blessing in his house on account of his prayer." [Muslim, Riyadus Saliheen #1130]

Ibn 'Abbaas reports: "That the Prophet (SAW) prayed two rak'ahs on the day of Fitr and he did not pray before or after this... " [Reported by al-Bukhaaree (989). at-Tirmidhee (537) an-Nasaa'ee (3/193). Ibn Maajah (1291)]

ISLAMIC ADAB IS TARBIYYA

-you teach your kids to speak to their elders with respect

Musa reported on the authority of his father who from his grand father that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “No father gave a better gift to his son than (teaching) good manners." [Tirmidhi 1959, Ahmed 15403]

"O Messenger of Allah, I love to pray with you." The Prophet said: "I am aware of that, but your salah in your residence is better for you than your salah in your people's mosque. And your salah in your people's mosque is better than your salah in the [larger] congregational Mosque." [Ahmad and at-Tabarani]


-teach them to knock before they come into your room

Jarir ibn 'Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah said, "If someone does not show mercy to people, Allah will not show mercy to him." [al-Bukhari and Muslim, Riyadus Saliheen #227]

Anas ibn Maalik narrated: An old man came to meet the Prophet The people were slow to give him passage. So, the Prophet (SAW) said, “He is not one of us who is not compassionate to our young (children) and respectful to our old.” [Tirmidhi 1926, Bukhari 354]


-you should teach them to eat at the section
-which is close to you and to say bismillah
-they need Islamic up bringing

DUAAS FOR LEAVING THE HOME

Anas ibn Maalik (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger said, “If anyone who goes out of his home says: In the name of Allah. I trust in Allah. There is no power and strength save in Allah, then it is said to him, ‘You are well provided and protected,’ and the devil goes away from him. [Tirmidhi 3437, Abu Dawud 5076, Nisai 89

DUAAS FOR ENTERING HOME:

O Allah, I ask of you a good entering and a noble leaving. With the name of Allah have we entered and with the name of Allah do we leave and upon Allah have we placed our trust.

"O Allah, I seek a good entry and a good exit. We take Allah's name to enter and to exit and rely on Him who is our Lord. After this dua greet the members of the household. (Mishkat)

Narrated By AbuMalik Al-Ash'ari: The Prophet (SAW) said: When a man goes into his house, he should say: "O Allah! I ask Thee for good both when entering and when going out; in the name of Allah we have entered, and in the name of Allah we have gone out, and in Allah or Lord do we trust." He should then greet his family. [Abu Dawud, Book 36, Hadith #5077]


-teach them Islamic hygiene

Narrated By Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "If I had not found it hard for my followers or the people, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with Siwak for every prayer." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 2, Book 13, Hadith #012]

-you can divorce a person who has bad breath
-you need to teach the people of the home istinja
-to shave their private parts and armpits
-when they go to the masjid on Fridays,
-they should make ghusl

Ibn Umar (RA) reported that Allah Messenger (SAW) said, “Salah offered with the congregation is twenty-seven ranks more excellent than that offered individually.” [Tirmidhi 215, Ahmed 5683, Muslim 650, Ibn e Majah 789, Bukhari 645]

You need to play Quran in your home to drive away the shaitan:: Surah al-Baqarah

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do not make your houses as graveyards. Satan runs away from the house in which Surah Baqara is recited. Muslim Book 004, Hadith Number 1707

O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. (At-Tahrim 66:6)


-this is to refute those who say Iblis was an angel
-How can Iblis be an angel?
-Allah said angels do not disobey

-In order for your home to be a Muslim home,
-you need to have a library of CDs and DVDs...all the subjects
-you should have the proper translation of Quran
-The noble Quran has about 3 mistakes in the translation

MISTAKES OF NOBLE QURAN:

And whosoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed, such are the Kafirûn (i.e. disbelievers - of a lesser degree as they do not act on Allah's Laws). (Al-Ma'idah 5:44) Dr Mohsin translation

…Whoso judgeth not by that which Allah hath revealed: such are disbelievers. (Al-Ma'idah 5:44) [Pickthal Translation]

And make ready against them all you can of power, including steeds of war (tanks, planes, missiles, artillery, etc.) to threaten the enemy of Allah and your enemy, and others besides whom, you may not know but whom Allah does know. And whatever you shall spend in the Cause of Allah shall be repaid unto you, and you shall not be treated unjustly. (Al-Anfal 8:60) Dr. Mohsin translation

Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power, including steeds of war, to strike terror into (the hearts of) the enemies of Allah and your enemies and others besides whom ye may not know but whom Allah doth know. Whatever ye shall spend in the cause of Allah, shall be repaid unto you, and ye shall not be treated unjustly. (Al-Anfal 8:60) [Yusuf Ali Translation]


-when they put threaten, that is a lie...Allah didn’t say that
-the mistake is in the English translation not the Arabic :
-it says threaten but the correct word is ‘terrorize’

Verily We created man of potter's clay of black mud altered, (Al-Hijr 15:26) [Pickthal Translation]

And indeed, We created man from dried (sounding) clay of altered mud. (Al-Hijr 15:26) [Dr Mohsin Translation]

-hama = black mud
-they took the word black out
-the latest translation, they took the word black smooth mud out
-in the first edition, they put black mud in
-stay away from the translation of the Shiites
-you need the proper tafsir of the Quran

IN A PROPER MUSLIM HOME, YOU NEED:
1. WE NEED A PROPER TRANSLATION OF THE HOLY QURAN

2. WE NEED A PROPER TAFSEER

-stay away from the tafsir of the Shiites, Sufis
-not Shiites and Qadiyanis

He has let loosed the two seas (the salt water and the sweet) meeting together. (Ar-Rahman 55:19)

-Shiites said in their tafsir that the cow is Aisha

"Verily, Allah commands you that you slaughter a cow." (2:67)

-the best tafsir you should have in your home is Tafsir ibn Kathir

Between them is a barrier which none of them can transgress. (Ar-Rahman 55:20)

3. YOU NEED HADITH

-the best collection of hadith is Bukhari and Muslim
-you can find them on the internet but you need to have Sahih hadith:
-BUKHARI and MUSLIM
-all the things are on the internet
-Abu Dawud, Ibn Majia, Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ahmad,
-and Al-Muwatta and Imam Maliki,
-you can’t have a collection in your home which is fabricated

SHIITE HUJJAH:
“Allah often lies and does mistakes” [Usool-al-Kafi, page 328, Yacoob Kulayni, Vol. 1]

The present Quran is in an altered, corrupted and distorted form.. (Fatuhat-e-Shia, p. 129)


-you can’t have these things in your home; that is fitna if you read from al-Kafi
-another book is the Sealed Nectar; this is a good book

http://www.saheefah.org/2008/09/11/full-translation-of-sharh-aqeedah-al-tahawiyyah/


-don’t follow the ones from India and Pakistan
-they change a lot of things and put shirk in it
-buy the ones that’s from Saudi Arabia
-you cannot take your aqeedah from India and Pakistan
-you should only take your aqeedah from Saudi Arabia

Don’t trust anyone with your aqeedah, it’s your jewel and crown
-you can learn fiqh from anybody
-you need books on fiqh, the best book is Fiqhul Sunnah
-Fiqh al Islam
-these are powerful books


SHIA HUJJAH: "A man can have sex with animals such as sheep, cows, and camels and so on. However he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village, however selling the meat to the next door village should be fine." [Ayatollah Khomeini, Tahrirolvasyleh, 4TH Volume - Darol Elm, Gom, Iran, 1990 from Khomeini's book, "Tahrirolvasyleh"]

-the fiqh of Shiites say you can tamper with your genital areas

The only people you can take fiqh from is Ahlus sunnah wa jamaa
-you’re allowed to do taqleed in regards to fiqh
-you need books on Akhlaq (good character)
-you need books on seerah (The Sealed Nectar)
-you need books on spirituality

THE SEALED NECTAR
http://www.islamhouse.com/p/51776

DON'T ALLOW EVIL PEOPLE IN YOUR HOME

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (RA) that he heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) say, “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832. Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this hadeeth is Hasan]

DON’T' EAT W/ ANYONE BUT RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE


-you are fasting in Ramadan and you cook Iftar
-and dinner and you invite people who are munafiqeen,
-what do you think you’re doing?

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (RA) that he heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) say, “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832. Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this hadeeth is Hasan]

-don’t invite shaiteen to eat your food
-your food is expensive and you work hard...don’t waste it on the shaiteen
-they will make indecent proposals to your wife and daughter
-some people like to seduce married women

TEACH THE SHARIAH IN YOUR HOME

The Prophet said: “One should seek permission thrice. If he grants you permission, [then enter] and if not, go back.” (Muslim #2153)


-don’t enter the room until you knock on the door
-don’t hang pictures

Narrated By Abu Talha: The Prophet said, "Angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or there are pictures." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 72, Hadith #833]

Ibn Abbas (RA) reported having heard Abu Talhah say that he heard Allah’s Messenger (SAW) say, “The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture of an animate.” [Tirmidhi 2813, Bukhari 3225, Muslim 2106 & 3649, Ahmed 16347, Nisai 4288]

Ibn Umar (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “If anyone acquires a dog, or keeps a dog, who is not for hunting or protecting sheep, then two qirats will he deducted from his reward every day.’ [Tirmidhi 1492, Bukhari 5480, Muslim 1574]



THE 5 THINGS WE CAN NOT KEEP IN OUR HOME

1 DOG
2 BELL
3 UNFLUSHED TOILETS
4 PEOPLE IN A STATE OF JANABAH
5 PICTURES OF PEOPLE'S FACES

WE CAN NOT STORE HARAAM ITEMS IN OUR HOME

-pork, alcohol, drugs

HANG A BELT IN THE HOME TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN

The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam commanded regarding children, " If they neglect salah at the age of seven, then reprimand them, at the age of nine separate their beds (do not let two of them sleep in the same bed) and at the age of seventeen get them married. Once the father has carried this out he should place his child before him and say, ‘ May Allah not make you a cause for my testing and trial." (Al-Ifsah Ibn Hajr Haithami)

-the Rasul (saw) dislike for you to live by yourself

“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.” Abu Dawood (459) and Ahmad (6650)

SET ASIDE A DAY FOR FAMILY MEETINGS FOR DISCUSSION IN THE HOME

DO NOT ARGUE AND DISPUTE AND FIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS

-this is mental and emotional abuse
-physiological abuse

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE HARAAM CELEBRATIONS INSIDE YOUR MUSLIM HOME
-avoid haraam celebrations
-Christmas parties
-valentines day parties
-this is imitating the kufaar

TRY TO BE IN YOUR HOME AT ALL TIMES
-the Rasul (saw) said the best place to be is inside the home
-you are living in darul harb so be in your home

Narrated By Abu Huraira: While we were sitting with the Prophet a man came and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have been ruined." Allah's Apostle asked what was the matter with him. He replied "I had sexual intercourse with my wife while I was fasting." Allah's Apostle asked him, "Can you afford to manumit a slave?" He replied in the negative. Allah's Apostle asked him, "Can you fast for two successive months?" He replied in the negative. The Prophet asked him, "Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?" He replied in the negative. The Prophet kept silent and while we were in that state, a big basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet. He asked, "Where is the questioner?" He replied, "I (am here)." The Prophet said (to him), "Take this (basket of dates) and give it in charity." The man said, "Should I give it to a person poorer than I? By Allah; there is no family between its (i.e. Medina's) two mountains who are poorer than I." The Prophet smiled till his pre-molar teeth became visible and then said, 'Feed your family with it." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 3, Book 31, Hadith #157]

-some of you Muslim men even though you are living in darul harb
-you like to be outside your home
-you are vulnerable to fitna

OBSERVE METICULOUSLY THE BEHAVIOUR OF YOUR HOME
-observe if they are on drugs
-sexually active
-as a parent you should do this

MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT MEET STRANGERS FROM THE INTERNET
-meet them behind your backs
-many of these kids are killed for this
-look, observe, and monitor

Narrated By Abdullah ibn Umar (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said: "Indeed, anyone who imitates a people is one of them." [Abu Dawud, Book 27, Hadith #4020]

-make sure they do not indulge in haraam reading, company, listening..
-haraam eating, drinking

TAKE YOUR CHILDREN IN AT MAGHRIB TIME
-AS THE SHAITAN IS SET LOOSE AT THIS TIME
-make sure they do not depict devil worshippers or sexually suggestive
-GO TO BED EARLY
-Allah said seek refuge from the night
-this is so you won’t miss fajr salah

Narrated By Jabir bin Abdullah: Allah's Apostle said, "When night falls (or it is evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Satan does not open a closed door." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 4, Book 54, Hadith #523]

HUG AND KISS YOUR CHILDREN TO GIVE THEM EMOTIONAL SECURITY
-the Rasul (saw) kissed Hasan

Narrated By Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Apostle cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73, Hadith #026]

IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR YOUR WIFE TO WORK IF HER WORK ENVIRONMENT
IS IN CONFORMITY WITH HER ISLAMIC FAITH

-she woman needs to ask question
-Will I be able to work ?
-Will I be required to wear hijab or niqaab?
-will I have to live with your parents?

Abdullah Bin Mas’oud said: “Allah’s Messenger forbade us from staying awake after the Late-Evening Prayer.” [Narrated by Ibn Majah (703)]

-You have to sort out these differences before you accept the proposal

BE COMPASSIONATE TO YOUR WIFE AND KIDS IN THE HOME
-if you do not, that means something is wrong with your sincerity
-if you are compassionate outside the home rather than your family,
-you are a munafiqh
-the well-being of the people of the home
-spiritual well-being
-physical well-being
-financial well-being

Thawban reported that the Prophet (SAW), said, "The best dinar a man spends is the dinar which he spends on his family, the dinar which he spends on his companions in the Way of Allah, and the dinar which he spends on his riding animal in the Way of Allah." One of the transmitters, Abu Qilaba, said, He began with the family, Who has a greater reward that the man who spends on small children until such time that Allah Almighty makes them able to support themselves." [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari, #748]

-you need to inspect the well-being of the home
-spiritually-make sure it’s catered for
-make sure you don’t have dodgy aqeedah

“Do you know who the questioner was, Umar?” I replied: “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said: “He was Gabriel who came to you to teach you your religion.” (Narrated by Bukhari)

-mental well-being-inspect to make sure they are not mental

SYMPTOMS A PERSON HAS A JINN
-walks and talks in his sleep
-doesn't do hygiene
-appetite is abnormal
-doesn’t like to hear the Quran