Friday, May 18, 2012

-315- Personality Disorders [Part 5]

PERSONALITY DISORDERS
ANTI-SOCIAL
by Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
05.08.2012 (Evening Dars)




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NOTES typed LIVE by AT-7
Edited and Formatted by AT-5

Bismillah...

ANITI SOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
A personality disorder is whenever a person behaves contrary to the expectations of his culture
-therefore every culture has certain expectations
-and the moment you behave contrary to that you have a personality disorder

WHAT IS AN ANTI SOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER?
-this is a form of mental illness
-in which the sufferer has absolutely no regards to the rights and feeling of others
-they are cruel, deceitful, selfish and manipulative

A person with ASPD shows a total lack of concern
-towards the expectations and rules of the society
-they constantly violate the rules of the college, masjid, homes, university and society as a whole
-because they are selfish they have no regards for the feelings of others
-they also lack social skills

This disorder is found in all ages and both sexes
-as a child they display a pattern of behaviour;
1. LYING
2. TRUANCY
3. BREAKING PROMISES
4. DISRUPTIVE
5. DELINQUENCY
5. SUBSTANCE AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
7. THEY BREAK THE LAW REPEATEDLY

As an adult the person commits crimes and fails to keep up with responsibilities
-of the job, financial, parenting responsibilities
-they have difficulties to maintain long-term relationships due to drug and alcohol abuse

SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS

1. LACK OF CONCERN REGARDING SOCIETIES RULES AND EXPECTATIONS
-so the person is self-centred

2. REPEATED VIOLATIONS OF THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS

3. UNLAWFUL BEHAVIOUR

4. LACK OF REGARD FOR THE TRUTH
-so he is deceitful, cunning and manipulative like a fox
-it is all about himself

5. IN PARENTS THEY HAVE NEGLECT AND ABUSE OF CHILDREN
-so in the West you can lose your kid for being a bad parent
-how can you be a good parent if you are on drugs?
-but in poor countries they are left to fend for themselves, so child prostitution is rife

6. LACK OF STEADY JOB DUE TO QUITTING OR GETTING FIRED

7. TENDENCY TOWARDS PHYSICAL AGGRESSION AND EXTREME IRRITABILITY

REASONS WHY A PERSON DEVELOPS ASPD

-in the UK you can lose your flat for being antisocial
-and anywhere illegitimate kids are pandemic this disorder is rife

1. ABSENCE OF PARENTAL DISCIPLINE
-the parents did not give the kids social skills
-they did not give you proper tarbiyyah
-which is Islamic upbringing
-so the kids are like wild animals

Some kids do not know they should knock on the bedroom door

Malik related to me from Safwan ibn Sulaym from Ata ibn Yasar that the Messenger of Allah (SAW), was questioned by a man who said, "Messenger of Allah, shall I ask permission of my mother to enter?" He said, "Yes " The man said, "I live with her in the house". The Messenger of Allah (SAW), said "Ask her permission." The man said, "I am her servant." The Messenger of Allah (SAW), said, "Ask her permission. Do you want to see her naked?" He said, "No." He said, "Then ask her permission." [Maliks Muwatta, Book 54, Hadith #001]

-the prophet (SAW) said;

Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard that the Messenger of Allah (SAW), said, "I was sent to perfect good character." [Maliks Muwatta, Book 47, Hadith #008]

Ayyub ibn Musa reported on the authority of his father who from his grand father that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “No father gave a better gift to his son than (teaching) good manners." [Tirmidhi 1959, Ahmed 15403]

Allah spoke about the character of Muhammad (SAW);

And verily, you (O Muhammad SAW) are on an exalted standard of character. (Al-Qalam 68:4)

2. EXTREME POVERTY
-why would a man break into the house of his neighbour and steal his things?
-this is because he is poor and hungry
-a hungry man is an angry man

When you live in a ghetto, you can expect a lot of ASPD
-because they are hungry and desperate
-people say money is the root of all evil
-but lack of money is root of all evil

http://www.authentictauheed.com/2012/03/262-reality-of-poverty.html

-that is why women become prostitutes and men become burglars

There is no point preaching poverty in the dunya
-Allah said;

But seek, with that (wealth) which Allah has bestowed on you, the home of the Hereafter, and forget not your portion of legal enjoyment in this world, and do good as Allah has been good to you, and seek not mischief in the land. Verily, Allah likes not the Mufsidûn (those who commit great crimes and sins, oppressors, tyrants, mischief-makers, corrupts). (Al-Qasas 28:77)

This disorder is rife in Europe and America
-and extreme poverty was identified

3. A LACK OF SPIRITUALITY
-if a man is ungodly he is material, not spirituality
-he is going to rape women and steal
-only the fear of Allah cause people not to do bad things

We have young boys breaking into the homes of old people and stealing their money
-this is common in the UK
-this is all cause by the lack of spirituality

4. REMOVAL FROM HOME
-orphanages are not encouraged in Islam
-because they grow up like cows in a pen
-they are not getting proper nurturing
-and governments like kids like these for the army

5. GROWING UP WITHOUT THE PARENTAL FIGURES OF BOTH SEXES
-if you are brought up with either of them you are damaged goods
-they still allow homosexuals to adopt kids, even though the research says this

6. LACK OF LOVE FROM YOUR PARENTS
-you may have both parents but if you lack enough love from them, you may have ASPD
-the rasul (SAW) used to kiss his grand kids

Narrated By Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Apostle cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 8, Book 73, Hadith #026]

-the parents have to show enough love
-so parents are supposed to nurture their kids spiritually
-academically by taking them to school
-spiritually by teaching the child tauheed and fiqh
-physically by feeding the child properly
-and emotionally by showing the child love
-if you cannot do all these things you fail as a parent

EXAMPLES OF ASPD

1. BULLYING KIDS AT SCHOOL
-you can be kicked out of school for doing this
-these kids that bully, sometimes do not have lunch money
-so they beat up other kids in school and steal their food

2. TEASING AND NAME CALLING
-Muslims get involved in this, but it is haram
-Allah said;

O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimûn (wrong-doers, etc.). (Al-Hujurat 49:11)

-you are not to practice name-calling
-this Surah is all about teaching you the Muslim behaving properly
-it is called to smear, sneer and jeer

-one man in Jamaica was named hot dog
-because he choked on the hot dog he bought from the town centre
-and if you do not like a nick name it sticks
-the nick name becomes haram when the person dislikes the name
-when Allah used the word Qaum it involves both male and female
-then Allah singled out the women by themselves
-because this trait of looking down at people is very prevalent among women
-and they like to laugh at each other
-a man can wear the same shoes everyday, but a woman needs at least 15 pairs
-that is why Allah singled them out even though they were included in the word 'QAUM'
-men do not watch each other's shoes, they have bigger things in their minds

3. PHYSICALLY FIGHTING PEOPLE AT HOME, SCHOOL AND COLLEGE
-even at work
-and we talking about fist fight

4. BREAKING INTO PEOPLES HOMES

5. TO PAINT ON THE WALLS TO MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE GHETTOS
-if you have a house and pay half a million for it
-when anti social people live in that neighbourhood
-they reduce the value of the house

So if you are going to insure a car the insurance company ask for more
-if you live in an anti social neighbourhood
-so your address is a curse and you cannot get a job
-they steal, fight, sell drugs a lot and break into homes

6. PLAYING LOUD MUSIC TO DISTURB YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD
-e.g. a place in London always has loud music
-but to call the adhan is not allowed

7. SMOKING AT WORK AND TURNING YOUR CO-WORKERS INTO PASSIVE SMOKERS
-and this can give cancer

8. TO HOOT YOUR CAR HORN LOUDLY AND REPEATEDLY

9. TO LEAVE YOUR CAR ALARM ON TO DISTURB YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD
-the car horn is very annoying

10. RAISING YOUR VOICE
-in gatherings to annoy others
-Luqman the wise was grooming his son to be a da'e and he told his son
-to lower his voice in Surah Luqman;

"And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass." (Luqman 31:19)

-he did not want his son to walk in a proud manner - the narcissistic personality disorder
-so he forbade 2 personality disorders in the same ayah

11. PLAYING LOUD MUSIC FROM YOUR CAR STEREO
-because other people do not want to hear your music

12. STARTING FIRES AND HUGE SMOKE TO DISTURB YOUR NEIGHBOUR
-why did you burn your garbage in a residential area?
-why do you not take it away from people?
-who told you people want to smell your smoke?
-why do you not take it in a truck far from the residential area?
-this shows they have total disregard for rights of people

13. USING FIREWORKS TO MAKE NOISE AND DISTURB THE NEIGHBOUR

14. LOUD UNRULY BEHAVIOUR AFTER A DRINKING SESSION IN A PUB
-you wake up the whole neighbourhood because you are drunk
-and sometimes they fight and girls pull each others hairs out
-these documentaries are on the internet

15. TO OPEN A BROTHEL IN A DESCENT NEIGHBOURHOOD
-whenever a masjid is opened in a neighbourhood house prices go up
-because people want to be in the descent neighbourhood
-but opening a brothel does the opposite

16. TO OPEN A NOISY FACTORY
-this makes loud noise and emits a lot of smoke

SOLUTION TO ASPD: BECOME SPIRITUAL

-the rasul (SAW) said;

Narrated by Anas ibn Malik (RA) that the Prophet (SAW) said: “No one of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [al-Bukhari (13) and Muslim (45)]

-people who are now Muslims say I used to do this and that
-and you will be appalled about what they used to do
-but now they do not do this because they have become spiritual
-do not listen to the shrinks, the solution is to become spiritual