Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Q&A Personality Disorders


Personality Disorders [Part 1] 

Question 1: Shaikh is there a Sunnah for how many hours one should sleep in a night?
Answer 1: The Sunnah is to sleep after Isha and wake up before fajr. Don’t sleep on your stomach but try and sleep on your side or on your back. Make the duas for sleeping and waking up. Do not sleep on roof tops you might fall down. You should separate the kids (male from female) from the bed after the age of 10. Two women should not sleep under the same blanket, or two men, this might lead to homosexuality.

“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.” [Abu Dawood (459) and Ahmad (6650)] 

Question 2: Asalam Alaykom Sheikh. I had a dream in which I saw Abu Qatadah. He came to say salaam and was surrounded by a lot of people like spies asking him questions. Can you tell me what this means? I had a strange dream today where I was chasing someone then this person fell over a bridge and fell into the sea. I tried to stop this person but couldn’t stop and fell in as well. Can you please explain this too? Jazakallah khayr.
Answer 2: The dream means that Abu Qatadah will be released (insha’Allah) and journalist will come to him to ask questions. The second part is you'll try to save a person but you'll fall into the same problem yourself only Allah knows the nature of the danger. You need to be more specific. 

Question 3: If someone is soft hearted but he wants to be assertive how does he do this?
Answer 3: Sometimes it's not too good to be soft-hearted because you are the balanced nation. But if you realise you are too soft find someone who is stronger to be your guide to help you make hard decisions.

Question 4: What's the best way to protect yourself from dreams that are from Shaytaan and to protect yourself from the little Jinn’s when you are asleep?
Answer 4: The best thing to do is to recite the Quls before you go to bed in the state of Wadhu. This will then allow your soul to mix with the souls of the angels and you'll have pleasant dreams. If you go to bed without wudhu, and recite the Quls you'll still have nightmares because your soul mixes with that of the Jinn’s.

“True dreams are one of the forty-six parts of Prophethood.” (al-Bukhaari, 6472; Muslim, 4201) 


Personality Disorders [Part 2] 

Question 1: Shaikh, Islam does not teach us to shun those who have certain disabilities or seem "different". What advice do you give to those who mock/bully them? We are one Ummah and the Nabi (saws) said not to cut off one another because we are supposed to be brothers.
Answer 1: This is a very important question; the solution is in surah 9:71.

 The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'rûf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. (At-Tawbah 9:71) 

We should support them, and we shouldn’t shun them. Don’t be like the khawarij we should be there for them, so they can overcome this. Even though the disorder is their problem, its caused by not practising Islam. The kaafir mothers, majority of the time, they are smoking and drinking whilst they are pregnant. The Jinns are responsible for these disorders. You should play/listen/read surah Baqarah. These kuffar say that they do not know what causes these disorders. But we Muslims know what the cause is, Allah says in the Quran Surah (114). If you the kuffar, do not know what causes these disorders why do you give the people pills? The pharmacists are laughing all the way to the banks! They say 'in the pills we put trust' we say 'in Allah we have our trust' 

 "Who whispers in the breasts of mankind, (An-Nas 114:5) "Of jinns and men." (An-Nas 114:6) 

Question 2: Assalam Alaikum shaikh, what do you know about autism and how best to help a child with autism. Jzk
Answer 2: 1 in 55 boys and 1 in 88 girls are born with it in the US. Most men who have babies over age 35 have autistic sons, they need a structured environment. They need to hear Qur'an being played and nasheeds; they responded very well to these things. Early diagnosis is important. Children need to respond when you call their name, kids with autism do not do so. 

AUTISM: www.autismspeaks.org/ http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm

Question 3: What are the symptoms of ADHD? Is it better than having bipolar? 
Answer 3: ADHD-, the child with this disorder they cannot remain still in the class room, and they are the biggest nightmare for any teacher. They are very disruptive. A boy in Halifax, had this and had the whole school shut down, the teachers wanted to resign. Which one is worse, Bipolar or ADHD?. It is difficult to say, shaikh says maybe ADHD. Bipolar people suffer maybe 6months with happiness/6months with sadness. Bipolar can be treated if they're surrounded by God-Fearing people, But however ADHD this is hard to handle because they are always hyper-active. 

Question 4: Shaikh what is the best way to help if someone has a speech impediment disorder? 
Answer 4: We haven’t covered this disorder yet, speech impediment needs therapy. Musa A.s had speech impediment, they say his tongue may have been damaged. You need your vocabulary fluent, read books, be by clever people. This will expand your vocabulary. Read The Sealed Nectar the language in that is excellent. Musa didn’t have weak vocabulary, he had an accident when he was young, he made a dua in surah 20:27-28. 

"And make loose the knot (the defect) from my tongue, (i.e. remove the incorrectness from my speech) [That occurred as a result of a brand of fire which Mûsa (Moses) put in his mouth when he was an infant]. [Tafsir At-Tabari, Vol. 16, Page 159]. (Ta-Ha 20:27) 

 "That they understand my speech, (Ta-Ha 20:28) 

Question 5: Sheikh, if a pregnant woman is told on early stage pregnancy that she is having a baby with Down syndrome is she allowed to abort the pregnancy? 
Answer 5: The problem with this is that, shaikh had a friend in London and He gave birth to a healthy son. But when she was pregnant the doctor said the baby had Down syndrome. But the baby was very healthy and handsome when he was born. So, shaikhs opinion is to have the baby, and seek other judgement if you want. The Doctor cannot tell if the baby will have a syndrome or not.


Personality Disorder [Part 3] 

Question 1: There is a hadith that say when two Muslim have a disputes you are not allow to go on more than three days without speaking to your brother or sister. Can you use this when have a dispute with your wife? 
Answer 1: You can boycott your wife for more than 3 days. Because the prophet did so for a month and he did so because he was disciplining them. But you need to monitor the situation with a qualified sheikh, because may be you boycotted your wife for something trivial. 

Question 2: Assalam alaykom dear respected Sheikh, it is clear that especially the corrupted societies in the west create many personality disorders. So what is the solution for all those afflicted souls? To be Muslim does not automatically cure those problems as far as I think. Thank you. 
Answer 2: Whenever you have milk and don’t want it to go off, you put it in a fridge. So you need to put the Muslim in an Islamic state to solve this problem. In the West these shrinks are very busy because the society suffers from multiple personality disorders. The west caters for sex addiction but you don’t have this in Islamic countries. It is a very ungodly society. You have 6 sacred things and only the Islamic state can cater for these: 1. Your life 2. Your wealth 3. Your honour 4. Your aql 5. Your lineage 6. Your deen. 

Question 3: Sheikh, women by nature like to spend their time beautifying themselves, should this also be classified as narcissism? jzk 
Answer 3: Women like to beautify themselves; they have 10 or more pairs of shoes. But it becomes narcissism if it reaches the point they look down upon people. 


Personality Disorders [Part 4] 

Question 1: If a man did not give talaq to his wife in order to preserve his family is that wrong couldn't she get a Khula if she wants to get out? 
Answer 1: She should follow the advice of the wali, the wali is to look after your interest. Allah told you in 4:35 you should go for arbitration when you’re facing problems in the marriage. 

 If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All¬Knower, Well¬Acquainted with all things. (An-Nisa 4:35) 

O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds). (At-Tawbah 9:119) 

Al-Bayhaqi narrated in Shu’ab al-Eemaan from al-Raqaashi: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.” 

Question 2: Assalamu alaikum sheikh, I had a dream about a hijabi sister in my university, in the dream she pats me on the back and now when I see her at university I have feelings for her, what does this mean? Answer 2: If you yourself are practising, and this sister is practising then you are compatible. You should consider nikah, but if you are not, and she’s not then it is from shaytan. 

Question 3: My brother has joined the British army, what is the best advice I can give him? 
Answer 3: The best advice you can give him 4:76. 

Those who believe, fight in the Cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve, fight in the cause of Taghût (Satan, etc.). So fight you against the friends of Shaitan (Satan); Ever feeble indeed is the plot of Shaitan (Satan). (An-Nisa 4:76) 


Personality Disorder [Part 5] 

Question 1: Asalaamualaikum, if your wife can’t get pregnant and when you tell her about marrying a second wife she disagrees, she expect you to live the rest of your life without children, isn't that selfish? Answer 1: Your wife is being selfish and you have a valid reason to get married. This is not uncommon for you to want to take a 2nd wife so you don't fall into zina. Some brothers have high testosterone so they need a 2nd wife the hadeeth is clear: 

 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik (RA) that the Prophet (SAW) said: “No one of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [al-Bukhari (13) and Muslim (45)] 

In the west, people are proud, arrogant, selfish and self-centred, so we're not surprised about your wife, this is because you're living in darul harb and have diseases of the heart. 

Question 2: Is it possible for an unmarried Muslim man to be engaged in sex with slave girls, captive or infidel woman? 
Answer 2: You are permitted to have concubines (your right-hand possessed), you can go to bed with your right hand possessed. Allah says: 

 And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) (Al-Mu'minun 23:5) 

Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; (Al-Mu'minun 23:6) 

But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; (Al-Mu'minun 23:7) 

You do not need to marry your concubines, modernists say you must marry the concubine but this is NOT the haqq. They're making up their own religion 

 al-Tabaraani narrated from Ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed jealousy for women and jihad for men, so whoever bears that with patience out of faith and in the hope of reward will have a reward like that of a martyr.” If you're patient when your husband marries again, you get the reward of a martyr.

Give up your pride, this is why women don't like polygamy, but it is Sunnah and its halal for brothers. Aisha (r.a) was a co-wife, are you better than her? Darul harb has turned people into low life scums of earth and can't cope witih what Qur'an says. Some of you say things to make you APOSTATE than to say SIS, MARRY MY HUSBAND. Some say it's difficult to find a good man so some sisters rather their sisters apostate. Some don't make hijrah but they still want to live in darul harb and they can't cope with polygamy so they are not prepared to do anything for Islam. They rather live in humiliation than to do something for Islam.