Sunday, November 16, 2014

(Notes & Audio) The 18 Types Of Women You Should Not Marry

The 18 Types Of Women You Should Not Marry
By Shaikh Abdullah Faisal
Saturday 15th November 2014



This topic originated from Uthaymeen
He mentioned 7 women that one should not marry
But there are actually 18 women according to my research

Before listing the women you should not marry
I want to remind you that the best of you are those who are best to their wives

Messenger of Allah () said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives". [At-Tirmidhi] Book 1, Hadith 278

Also, let me remind you of a second hadith

Abu Huraira (RA) reported the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "Take my advice with regard to women: Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women." [Trans Sahih Al-Bukhari Vol: 4 Book 60 Hadith 3331 and Muslim (1468)]



She is never satisfied
You dread coming home from work
Your house is not a place of comfort
Men who live with these women have white beards at an early age
Although they may only be 35 years old
They are already white in their hair
Because your wife is always complaining about something
These women are ungrateful
Allah told you in 14:7

And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: "If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allāh), I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily! My Punishment is indeed severe." (Ibrahim 14:7)

Hadith of Ibrahim (as) and Ismael (as):

After Ishmael's mother had died, Abraham came after Ishmael's marriage in order to see his family that he had left before, but he did not find Ishmael there. When he asked Ishmael's wife about him, she replied, 'He has gone in search of our livelihood.' Then he asked her about their way of living and their condition, and she replied, 'We are living in misery; we are living in hardship and destitution, 'complaining to him. He said, 'When your husband returns, convey my salutation to him and tell him to change the threshold of the gate (of his house).' When Ishmael came, he seemed to have felt something unusual, so he asked his wife, 'Has anyone visited you?' She replied, 'Yes, an old man of so-and-so description came and asked me about you and I informed him, and he asked about our state of living, and I told him that we were living in a hardship and poverty.' On that Ishmael said, 'Did he advise you anything?' She replied, 'Yes, he told me to convey his salutation to you and to tell you to change the threshold of your gate.' Ishmael said, 'It was my father, and he has ordered me to divorce you. Go back to your family.' So, Ishmael divorced her and married another woman from amongst them (i.e. Jurhum).  [Sahih Bukhari, Vol 4, Book 55, Hadith #583]

The first wife was always complaining and didn’t have self-contentment
And the second wife did not complain and had self-contentment
So Ismael (as) did as his father said and divorced the first wife and married another

Narrated By Abu Huraira (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, "Riches does not mean, having a great amount of property, but riches is self-contentment." [al-Bukhari (6038) and Muslim (2287)]

Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri: Once Allah's Messenger went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) on 'Eid-al-Adha or al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Messenger of Allah?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Messenger of Allah! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion." [Sahih Bukhari (1/68) No. 304]

If a husband did 99 good things and failed in the 100th one
An ungrateful woman will say he has never done any good for her
They swear too much too


She fakes her sickness
Complaining of a headache when nothing is wrong with her
The signs of a munafiq are four (hadith):

'Abdullah ibn 'Amr narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said, "If anyone has four characteristics, he is a pure hypocrite, and if anyone has one of them, he has an aspect of hypocrisy until he gives it up: whenever he is trusted, he betrays his trust; whenever he speaks, he lies; when he makes an agreement, he breaks it; and when he quarrels, he deviates from the truth by speaking falsely." [al-Bukhari (34) and Muslim (58)]

The rasul (saw) warned us against telling lies in the following hadith:

Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Prophet (SAW) said, "Truthfulness leads to piety and piety leads to the Garden. A man should be truthful until he is written down as truthful in the sight of Allah. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A person lies to the point that he is written down as a liar in the sight of Allah." [al-Bukhari (6094) and Muslim (2607)]

One of the signs of a munafiq is that he lies about his health
Some lie and say they cannot come to work because of a migraine


Asma’ bint Yazeed, who said that she was with the Messenger of Allah (SAW), when men and women were sitting with him, and he said: “I think there are some men who talk about what they do with their wives, and that there are some women who talk about what they do with their husbands.” The people stayed silent. [Asma’] said: “Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, [women] do that and [men] do that!” He said, “Do not do that, for it is as if a male devil met a female devil in the street and had intercourse with her whilst the people were watching.” [Musnad Ahmad (Vol. 6 p.456) No. 27624]

Some women only talk about sex with their husbands whenever they meet
They are always talking what happens in the bedroom with their husbands
Men also do this - talk about what they do in the bedroom with their wives


"The Messenger of Allah () cursed the women who imitate men and the men who imitate women." Tirmidhi: Vol. 5, Book 41, Hadith 2784


Narrated By Ma'qil ibn Yasar: A man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: I have found a woman of rank and beauty, but she does not give birth to children. Should I marry her? He said: No. He came again to him, but he prohibited him. He came to him third time, and he (the Prophet) said: "Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall outnumber the peoples by you." [Abu Dawud, Book 5, Hadith #2045]


Allah (swt) said in the Quran:

……then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four ...(An-Nisa 4:3)

The theory is you should marry women with whom you have chemistry
If not, you could become impotent
Because the man needs an erection
And if you are not attracted to her it will be difficult
And hence may cause you to be impotent
Before you marry a woman, you should look at her

"The best woman (wife) is the one whom, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, when you are not in her presence she safeguards herself and your belonging. Ibn Majah, 1/595/ Kitab al Nikah, Bab Haqq al- Zawj.

From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

You are not supposed to marry a woman unless you are sure about the chemistry
When the Prophet (saw) said look at her
It means you are allow to look under the hijab
And her dress can be knee length
Because if a woman has thin legs, she has low libido
So look at her means she wears a dress which is knee length and without hijab
This is the madhab of Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (rh)

The Dhaahiriyah says you can see her naked
This is not the correct opinion
But the opinion of Hanbal is the correct one


This includes a Muslim woman who is not practising
There is no such thing as a non-practicing muslim
She has apostatised

Buraidah reported that the Prophet (SAW) said, "The pact between us and them is prayer. Whoever abandons it is a disbeliever." (Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmizhi, anNasa'i and Ibn Majah.)

You should try to the best of your ability to marry a practicing Muslim
When you are looking for a wife
Stay away from unrighteous women including Buddhist, Hindus and Shikhs
Because they are not lawful for you
Don’t get carried away by your lust

And do not marry Al-Mushrikāt (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allāh Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikûn till they believe (in Allāh Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikûn) invite you to the Fire, but Allāh invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayāt (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. (Al-Baqarah 2:221)

A slave girl who is a believer is better than a non-believing free woman
Allah (swt) also meant the atheist, agnostic and Rasta
You are not allowed to marry these people

Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karīm (generous provision i.e.Paradise). (An-Nur 24:26)

This Ayah came down when the sahaba wanted to marry a prostitute
She wanted misyar (the woman provides the maintenance)
Good women are for good men and evil women are for evil men
Men marry women for four reasons:

Narrated By Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. [al-Bukhari (5090) and Muslim (1466)]

You are not allowed to marry a Jewish or Christian girl
Unless there are no Muslim girls to marry
So don't chase after Christian girls when there are pious Muslim girls are available

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “… as this is the case, it is better not to marry a woman of the people of the Book, because ‘Umar said to those who married women of the people of the Book: ‘Divorce them,’ so they divorced them, except Hudhayfah. ‘Umar said to him: ‘Divorce her.’ (Hudhayfah) said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal, divorce her.’ He said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal.’ He said: ‘I know that she is a live coal, but she is permissible for me.’ A while later, he divorced her and it was said to him: ‘Why did you not divorce her when ‘Umar commanded you to?’ He said: ‘I did not want the people to think that I had done something wrong (by marrying her).’ Perhaps he was fond of her or perhaps they had a child together so he was fond of her.”  Al-Mughni, 7/99

This incident stated above occurred when a sahabi married a Christian girl


This point came from Uthaymeen
She uses it against him on a daily basis
This is unislamic
Allah (swt) spoke about these people in 2:264

O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allāh, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with what they have earned. And Allāh does not guide the disbelieving people. (Al-Baqarah 2:264)

Allah (swt) will not look at these people on the Day Of Judgement

Abu Dharr (radhi allahu anhu) said, 'The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) observed, 'There are three (types of) people to whom Allah will neither speak on the Day of Resurrection nor look at them, nor purify them, and they will have a painful chastisement.' The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) repeated it three times. Abu Dharr (radhi allahu anhu) remarked, 'They are ruined. Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?' Upon this, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, 'One who lets down his lower garments (below his ankles) out of arrogance, one who boasts of his favors done to another; and who sells his goods by taking a false oath.'' [Saheeh Muslim] Book 4, Hadith 794]


Why? Because she may have sex with her ex
Say to these women, if you are so into your ex, why are you with me and not him?
This point also includes women who yearn after jahiliyyah
Don't marry these women
This is a harmful behaviour

On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (RA), that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: There should be neither harming (darar) nor reciprocating harm (dirar).A hasan Hadith related by Ibn Majah, ad-Daraqutnee and others as a musnad Hadith. It was also related by Malik in al-Muwatta in mursal form from Amr bin Yahya, from his father from the Prophet (SAW), but leaving Abu Sa’eed from the chain. And it has other chains of narrations that strengthen one another. [Imam Nawawi's 40 Hadith Hadith No. 32]

You cannot keep mentioning your ex because of the hadith above
It means, when you are living with a man, do not mention your ex husband
Because you are oppressing your husband and hurting his feelings

O you who believe! Enter perfectly in Islām (by obeying all the rules and regulations of the Islāmic religion) and follow not the footsteps of Shaitān (Satan). Verily! He is to you a plain enemy (Al-Baqarah 2:208)

Also, you are supposed to enter Islam whole heartedly
So you should not yearn after the dunya


There are married Muslim women who flirt with other men
And seek the attention of other men

Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari said: the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.” [Musnad Ahmad (4/413) No. 19726, Sunan al-Nasa'i (8/153) No. 5126, Mustadrak al-Haakim (2/430) No. 3497]

Allah (swt) praised the women of Paradise
They restrain their glances and don't look at any other man except their husband

Wherein both will be those (maidens) restraining their glances upon their husbands, whom no man or jinn yatmithhunna (has opened their hymens with sexual intercourse) before them. (Ar-Rahman 55:56)

Other women look at other men thinking that the grass is greener on the other side
They are married to one man and sweet talk another


She may not clean the house or herself properly
If you consummate with your wife and you do not like her smell,
It is a reason for divorce

...Truly, Allāh loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.). (Al-Baqarah 2:222)

This means the women should make proper istinga
Some women don't spend enough time washing themselves
She should take a shower after menstruation
Because the next salah has to be performed

On the authority of Abu Malik al-Harith bin al-Harith al-Asharee (RA) who said: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, "Purity is half of iman (faith)." [Sahih Muslim (1/203) No. 223]


She waste her husband’s money buying things she does not need

And those, who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes). (Al-Furqan 25:67)

The sincere believers are neither spendthrifts nor miserly.
Don’t marry a spendthrift.

Verily, spendthrifts are brothers of the Shayatīn (devils), and the Shaitān (Devil ­ Satan) is ever ungrateful to his Lord. (Al-Isra 17:27)

And give not unto the foolish your property which Allāh has made a means of support for you, but feed and clothe them therewith, and speak to them words of kindness and justice. (An-Nisa 4:5)

Allah (swt) said in the above verse that you should not give money to fools:
The fool here (in today’s topic) is the woman who is bipolar
They are materialistic and high maintenance

Abu Hurairah (RA) reported: The Prophet (SAW) said, "May he be miserable, the worshipper of the dinar and dirham, and the worshipper of the striped silk cloak. If he is given anything, he is satisfied; but if not, he is unsatisfied." [Sahih Bukhari (4/34) No. 2886


Obesity is rife in Europe and America
People who practice comfort eating become overweight
These people should be taking into custody before they eat themselves to death

A man in the USA weights the same as a cow

one ton man:

The disbeliever eats in 7 intestine whilst
The believer eats in 1 intestine

Ibn Umar (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) said, “The believer eats in one intestine, while the disbeliever eats in seven intestines.’ [(Al-Bukhari: (7/70) (5394) & Sahih Al Bukhari: (7/65) Hadith 306) and Muslim (2061) & Muslim: (23/32) 5113)] & Sunan Ibn Majah: (1/29) Hadith 3256) & Muwatta Malik: (Book 49 Hadith: 9], At Tirmidhi: (3/23) Hadith (1818) 

On the authority of Al-Miqdaam ibn Maadiy-Karib who said: I heard the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saying: "No human ever filled a vessel worse than the stomach. Sufficient for any son of Adam are some morsels to keep his back straight. But if it must be, then one third for his food, one third for his drink and one third for his breath." [Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi (Book 16 Hadith 1519), Ibn Majah: (1/29) Hadith 3349]

....while those who disbelieve enjoy themselves and eat as cattle eat, and the Fire will be their abode. (Muhammad 47:12)

You are not allowed to marry women who practice comfort eating
Because you will damage your health


She talks and talks and talks a bunch of crap
She gets involved in gossip
Don’t marry these women
They backbite, slander, practice tale-bearing etc

There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allāh's Cause), or Ma'rûf (Islāmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allāh has ordained), or conciliation between mankind, and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allāh, We shall give him a great reward. (An-Nisa 4:114)

You will find no good in most of these secret talks

The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is the prayer and its peak is jihad." Then he (SAW) said, "Shall I not tell you of the foundation of all of that?" I said, "Yes, O Messenger of Allah." So he took hold of his tongue and said, "Restrain this." I said, "O Prophet of Allah, will we be taken to account for what we say with it?" He (SAW) said, "May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Is there anything that throws people into the Hellfire upon their faces — or: on their noses — except the harvests of their tongues?" [Sunan Tirmidhi (5/11) No. 2616, Sunan Ibn Majah (5/116) No. 3973, Musnad Ahmad (5/231) No. 22069]


You are not allowed to disobey your husband
Because of the following hadith

Muhammed (SAW) said, If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. [Abu Dawud, Book 5, Hadith #2135]

Abu Huraira (RA) said: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning." [al-Bukhari (3237) and Muslim (1436)]

Umm Salamah (RA) reported that Allahs Messenger (SAW) said, "Any woman, who dies while her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise." [Sunan Tirmidhi (3/466) No. 1161, Sunan Ibn Majah (3/59) No. 1854]

If you have a low libido, you should allow your husband to marry a second wife
Because the angels will curse you if you refuse his call to bed
If you have a low libido or are impotent you should declare it
Why should you go after women if you know that you are impotent?


Cantankerous means a woman who is harshly argumentative
She argues and screams

Narrated by ‘Aishah that the Prophet said: “The most despicable person to Allah is one who is harshly argumentative." [al-Bukhari (2457) and Muslim (2668)]

When Luqman the wise was advising his son he told him to lower his voice
When talking to people

"And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass." (Luqman 31:19)

Stay away from these women
Also stay away from the woman who swears a lot

Allāh does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by him who has been wronged. And Allāh is Ever All­Hearer, All­Knower. (An-Nisa 4:148)

If a person is swearing because she was oppressed, forgive her
But if she wasn't oppressed, stay away from her
She is evil


Ibn Abbas said: "The Messenger of Allah cursed women who visit graves, and those who take them as Masjids and put lamps on them." [Sunan Abu Dawud (3/218) No. 3236, Sunan al-Nasa'i (4/94) No. 2043, Sunan Tirmidhi (2/136) No. 320, Musnad Ahmad (1/229) No. 2030]

It is not allowed for women to visit the graves
Aysha (ra) went to the grave of her brother only once
It is makrooh for a woman to walk behind the dead body to the graveyard
Because of the hadith of Umm Atiyyah (ra)

Umm Atiyyah (RA) reported: “We (womenfolk) were prohibited from accompanying a funeral procession, but we were not compelled (not to do so).” [al-Bukhari (1278) and Muslim (938)]

When you read a hadith that say "we were not compelled..." means it is mahkrooh


The hadith mentioned three people from whom the pen is lifted
The mentally ill is one of them

The Messenger of Allah said: “The Pen is lifted from three (i.e., their deeds are not recorded): 1 .a child until he reaches puberty; 2. an insane man until he comes to his senses; 3. one who is asleep until he wakes up.” [Recorded in Abu Dawud, 4403, and Ibn Majah, 2041]

Since marriage is half of the deen, you are not allowed to marry a mentally ill person
Especially the one who hears voices
What if the voices tell her to pour boiling water over your head?

Anas Ibn Malik narrated the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: “When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” [al-Bayhaqi narrated in Shu’ab al-Eemaan (7/340) No. 5100]

These are the 18 women you are not allowed to marry

Monday we will discuss the men who women should not marry insha'Allah