by Shaikh Faisal
Shawwal 23, 1438
July 17, 2017
- Marriage is a crucial institution in Islam for various reasons.
- It is the foundation of the society. Also, our prodigy and bloodline continues only through marriage.
- Bastard children are not welcomed in the Islamic society. In most madhabs (schools of thought), bastard children are not allowed to lead the prayer in congregation.
- Only the Hanbali madhab allows it.
- Bastard children are the children of the shaytan.
- Therefore, it is permissible for a Muslim woman to abort a bastard child if it is under 6 weeks old.
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Isra 17:64
وَاسْتَفْزِزْ مَنِ اسْتَطَعْتَ مِنْهُم بِصَوْتِكَ وَأَجْلِبْ عَلَيْهِم بِخَيْلِكَ وَرَجِلِكَ وَشَارِكْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَوْلَادِ وَعِدْهُمْ وَمَا يَعِدُهُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ إِلَّا غُرُورًا
"And Istafziz [literally means: befool them gradually] those whom you can among them with your voice (i.e. songs, music, and any other call for Allāh's disobedience),
make assaults on them with your cavalry and your infantry, mutually share with them wealth and children (by tempting them to earn money by illegal ways usury, etc., or by committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.), and make promises to them." But Satan promises them nothing but deceit. (Al-Isra 17:64)
- Muslims are a balanced nation, so celibacy or promiscuity is not practiced in Islam.
- Muslims practice Nikah (marriage).
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Baqarah 2:143
وَكَذَٰلِكَ جَعَلْنَاكُمْ أُمَّةً وَسَطًا لِّتَكُونُوا شُهَدَاءَ عَلَى النَّاسِ وَيَكُونَ الرَّسُولُ عَلَيْكُمْ شَهِيدًا
Thus We have made you [true Muslims real believers of Islāmic Monotheism, true followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah (legal ways)], a Wasat (just) (and the best) nation, that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger (Muhammad) be a witness over you... (Al-Baqarah 2:143)
"I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Trans Sahih al Bukhari (Arabic/English) Vol 7 Book 67 hadith 5063. Sahih-Muslim, English translation Vol 2 pg 703 No. 3236
WHAT IS THE HUKUM FOR NIKAH?
- Is it fard or Sunnah?
- Nikah becomes fard (compulsory) for the Muslim if they fear falling into Zina (fornification).
- A Muslim fears zina because they have needs and desires.
- In order to build a successful Muslim home, you need to marry a pious partner.
The Prophetﷺ said: "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27
- Also, Muslims make the dua according to the ayah:
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Baqarah 2:201
وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ
And of them there are some who say: "Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!" (Al-Baqarah 2:201)
- The ‘good’ of the dunya in the ayah are 4 things.
"Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal." Quotes on marriage from Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi
- Mankind is split into 5 categories in regards to children:
- Allahﷻ gives boys alone.
- Allahﷻ gives girls alone.
- Allahﷻ gives both girls and boys.
- This is the best category to have because you experience both male and female.
- Allahﷻ gives no children (barren).
- This is the worst category.
- Allahﷻ gives you children, but they die.
- If you have children and they die, that is your investment because the child can intercede for you on the Day Of Judgement.
- However, the child can only intercede for you if you are a believer.
Abu Huraira (RA) reported, The Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: "When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: (1) A continuous charity, (2) knowledge by which people derive benefit, (3) pious child who prays for him." Adab al-Mufrad al-Bukhari No. 38, Muslim (3/1255) No.1631, Abu Dawud (3/117) No. 2880, al-Nasa'i (6/251) No. 3651, Tirmidhi (3/660) No. 1376, al-Darime (1/148) No. 559, Ahmad (2/372) No. 8831
THE FOUNDATIONS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
- The first pillar of a successful marriage is to be Muslim because everything we do is for Allahﷻ.
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-An’am 6:162
قُلْ إِنَّ صَلَاتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Say (O Muhammad SAW) : "Verily, my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
- Muslims are not allowed to marry pagans.
- A Muslim slave girl is better to marry than a Hindu or Sikh.
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Baqarah 2:221
وَلَا تَنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلَا تُنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِّن مُّشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ أُولَٰئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى النَّارِ وَاللهُ يَدْعُو إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَالْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ وَيُبَيِّنُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ
And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. (Al-Baqarah 2:221)
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Baqarah 2:197
وَتَزَوَّدُوا فَإِنَّ خَيْرَ الزَّادِ التَّقْوَىٰ وَاتَّقُونِ يَا أُولِي الْأَلْبَابِ
...And take a provision (with you) for the journey, but the best provision is At-Taqwa (piety, righteousness, etc.). So fear Me, O men of understanding! (Al-Baqarah 2:197)
- Allahﷻ spoke about love.
Allahﷻ said in Surah Ar-Rum 30:21
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)
- This ayah is also proof that it is haram to marry a Jinn because they are not of the human race.
- Chemistry is different from love.
- For example, a woman may love you because you are her Muslim brother, but she doesn't find you attractive to marry.
- A Sahaba woman divorced her husband because there was no chemistry. She accepted to give back the dowry. This type of divorce is called Khula.
- Khula divorce is a woman divorcing her husband who is of good character.
- Faskh (annulment) divorce is when a woman divorces her husband who is of evil and bad character. In this divorce, she keeps her dowry without giving it back.
Narrated By Ibn 'Abbas (RA): The wife of Thabit bin Qais came to the Prophetﷺ and said, "O Allah's Apostleﷺ! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner (if I remain with him)." On that Allah's Apostleﷺ said (to her), "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you (as Mahr)?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophetﷺ said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once." Sahih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 63, Hadith #197
Abu Hurayra (RA) reported that the Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: "Treat women well. Woman was created from a rib. The most crooked part of the rib is (place above hadith) the top part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it, it remains crooked. So treat women well." Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
- ‘Break’ in this Hadith means divorce.
Abdullah ibn Amr (RA) narrated the Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “Those who are merciful will be given mercy by the Most Mercifulﷻ. Be merciful to those on the earth and the Oneﷻ above the heavens will have mercy on you.” Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 40, Hadith #4941
- Selfishness isn't allowed in marriage. The burden should be shared.
- If a woman is wealthy, she should help her husband financially.
- In some marriages, spouses search each other’s phones because they speculate an affair.
- If there is no trust, each person should go their separate ways.
- A good woman has three qualities.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas (RA): Let me inform you about the best a man hoards; it is a virtuous woman who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives her a command, and guards his interests when he is away from her. Sunan Abi Dawud 1664: Book 9, Hadith 1660
- A woman is not allowed to open the door to a man who is not her mahram, not even for a brother-n-law.
It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (RA) that the Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansar said: “O Messenger of Allahﷺ, what about the brother-in-law?” He said: “The brother-in-law is death.” al-Bukhari (5232) and Muslim (2172)
- When a woman is in seclusion with a man, the third person is the shaytan.
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab(RA), The Prophetﷺ said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118
- A woman should be loyal to her husband because of the Prostration Hadith.
If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allahﷻ. Abu Dawud, Book 5, Hadith #2135
- A woman shouldn't disobey her husband.
- Disobedient women are always divorced.
- No man wants to live with a feminist and most women no longer remain a feminist when she marries.
- A feminist is a kaafir.
- A feminist always tries to undermine, contradict and rebel against her husband.
- Men have created a movement in backlash to feminists called MGTOW.
- MGTOW - Men Going Their Own Way.
Talq ibn Ali (RA) reported that Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his urge then she must go to him even if she is at the stove." Sunan Tirmidhi (3/465) No. 1160, Sunan al-Kubra al-Nasa'i (8/187) No. 8922 and Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah (3/558) No. 17135
Narrated Abu Huraira (RA) that Allah's Apostleﷺ said: "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning." Bukhari, Vol. 4, Number 460
- There is no room for feminism in Islam.
- The feminist movement is part of the Illuminati's cult.
- They don't want real men in the society.
- If two men interview for a job (one gay and one straight), the gay will get the job.
- Illuminati cult view real men as a threat to their society and thats why they endorse feminism and homosexuality.
THE FOUR PILLARS OF NIKAH
1. WALI (Guardian)
Aisha (RA) reported that Allah’s Messengerﷺ said:“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Sunan Tirmidhi (3/399-400) No. 1102, Musnad Ahmad (6/47) No. 24251, Sunan Abu Dawud (2/229) No. 2083, Sunan Ibn Majah (3/77) No. 1879
- If a girl has no Wali, the Imam becomes her Wali.
- Reverts need to appoint a Wali.
- Abu Hanifa refutes the understanding of the Hadith. He states that the slave girl is the one who needs a Wali and not the free girl. Abu Hanifa (RH) uses Qiyas (analogy) for his opinion.
What is the status of a Muslim girl who marries under the opinion of Abu Hanifa (RH)?
- Her marriage is hanging in the balance because we don't want to disgrace the Muslim sister.
- An Alem (knowledgeable scholar) should examine the marriage and her partner.
- If she married a man who has a right Aqeedah (belief), then the Alem can announce her marriage as Sahih (valid).
- If her partner is a Sufi, Aathir, Berailvi, Shia, Democrat, Madkhali or Qadiani then her marriage is batil (invalid) because these people are kuffar.
- An Aathir is a person who makes excuses for takfir when the text is clear.
Muhammad ibn Abdul Wahhab (RA) said: Know that the things that nullify Islam are TEN: 3. he commits Kufr whoever does not apply the Kufr principle upon polytheists, or whoever doubts that polytheists are infidels, or whoever corrects the polytheists’ path. [3:19; 3:85]
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Ma’idah 5:72-73
لَقَدْ كَفَرَ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا إِنَّ اللهَ هُوَ الْمَسِيحُ ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ وَقَالَ الْمَسِيحُ يَا بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ اعْبُدُوا اللهَ رَبِّي وَرَبَّكُمْ إِنَّهُ مَن يُشْرِكْ بِاللهِ فَقَدْ حَرَّمَ اللهُ عَلَيْهِ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَأْوَاهُ النَّارُ وَمَا لِلظَّالِمِينَ مِنْ أَنصَارٍ
Surely, they have disbelieved who say: "Allah is the Messiah ['Iesa (Jesus)], son of Maryam (Mary)." But the Messiah ['Iesa (Jesus)] said: "O Children of Israel! Worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord." Verily, whosoever sets up partners in worship with Allah, then Allah has forbidden Paradise for him, and the Fire will be his abode. And for the Zalimun (polytheists and wrongdoers) there are no helpers. (Al-Ma'idah 5:72)
لَّقَدْ كَفَرَ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا إِنَّ اللهَ ثَالِثُ ثَلَاثَةٍ وَمَا مِنْ إِلَٰهٍ إِلَّا إِلَٰهٌ وَاحِدٌ وَإِن لَّمْ يَنتَهُوا عَمَّا يَقُولُونَ لَيَمَسَّنَّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ
Surely, disbelievers are those who said: "Allah is the third of the three (in a Trinity)." But there is no ilah (god) (none who has the right to be worshipped) but One Ilah (God -Allah). And if they cease not from what they say, verily, a painful torment will befall the disbelievers among them. (Al-Ma'idah 5:73)
Allahﷻ said in Surah Al-Baiyinah 98:1
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ لَمْ يَكُنِ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ وَالْمُشْرِكِينَ مُنفَكِّينَ حَتَّىٰ تَأْتِيَهُمُ الْبَيِّنَةُ
Those who disbelieve from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and among Al-Mushrikun, were not going to leave (their disbelief) until there came to
them clear evidence. (Al-Baiyinah 98:1)
- A man doesn't need a Wali.
- For example, if parents oppose the marriage of their son to a girl who is pious but isn't from the same nationality, he doesn't have to listen to them.
- The son has to obey the parents, if the girl is not pious.
- The hujjah (evidence) for this is when Prophet Ibrahim (AS) visited his son Ismael (AS). He questioned the wife and she said ‘life is rough and tough and I don't see things getting any better’.
- Ibrahim (AS) told her to tell his son to change the threshold of his door.
- This meant to divorce his wife.
- Ismael (AS) divorced her.
- The same applies to a Muslim girl who wants to marry a pious boy. She can disobey her parents and appoint her own Wali to get married.
2. TWO WITNESSES
Aisha (RA) narrated the Prophetﷺ said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” al-Sunan al-Kubra al-Bayhaqi (7/202) No. 13719, al-Mu'jam al-Awsat al-Tabarani (9/117) No. 9291, Sahih Ibn Hibban (9/386) No. 4075, Sunan al-Daraqutni (4/324) No. 3534
- Witnesses are 2 male witnesses or 4 female witnesses.
- The witnesses should be of good character.
Can you marry a person over Skype?
- The answer is Yes.
- The Hujjah (evidence) for this marriage over skype is when the Rasoolﷺ married Umm Habiba (RA) while she was in Ethiopia and he was in Makkah.
Is secret marriage allowed?
- Secret marriage is allowed as long as the 4 pillars are fulfilled.
3. THE DOWRY
- If the dowry wasn’t determined at the time of the marriage, the default dowry would be the Urf (prevailing custom of the people).
- For example, in Morocco, the dowry for the prevailing custom of the people is $2000.
- Another example, the dowry of a girl would be similar to an older sister who was previously married.
4. THE QABOOL
- The Qabool means the acceptance of the proposal.
- The girl is asked, "Do you accept [male name] to be your husband.”
- Due to this pillar, forced marriages are haram (forbidden).
Allahﷻ said in Surah An-Nisa 4:19
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. (An-Nisa 4:19)
- Hanbali madhab differs with this opinion.
- Forced marriages are allowed if the father sees signs of his daughter being a ‘loose or floozy’.
- This opinion is correct because the Izzah (honor) of the family is sacred.
RIGHTS OF A WIFE
4. INTIMACY EVERY 4 DAYS.
- Umar (RA) passed this law of intimacy.
- He passed this law because a woman came to him and complained that her husband prays too much at night.
- Umar (RA) spoke to the husband and asked him why he doesn't share his bed with his wife at night.
- The man said that ‘Allahﷻ allows four wives, however I only have 1 wife and due to this, I prefer to sleep with my wife one night and pray the other 3 nights.’
5. TAKING HER TO THE DOCTOR WHEN SHE IS ILL.
6. ISLAMIC EDUCATION.
- Provide an Islamic education.
- If you're not a scholar or educated, then join a study circle.
- Many people have marital problems because they are selfish with religious knowledge.
Allahﷻ said in Surah At-Tahrim 66:6
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ
O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. (At-Tahrim 66:6)
- Ali ibn Abu Talib (RA) said that the Tafsir (explanation) of ‘save yourselves and your families’ is providing religious education.
7. TO FEEL JEALOUS OVER HER.
Abdullah ibn Umar (RA) reported that the Messenger of Allahﷺ said: "Three people will not enter paradise and Allahﷻ will not look to them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth (cuckold, weak man who feels no jealousy over his womenfolk)..." Musnad Ahmad (2/134) No. 6180, Musnad al-Bazzar (12/270) No. 6051, al-Sunnan al-Kubra al-Nasa'i (2/63) No. 2354, al-Mu’jam al-Awsat al-Tabarani (3/51) No. 2443
- A Dayooth doesn't mind if his wife is having an affair.
- A Dayooth is a kaafir because he has made haram OK in his heart.
- A Dayooth is liberal with his views.
8. TO PROVIDE ACTIVITIES.
- The Prophetﷺ used to take his wives to the battlefield.
9. DO NOT REVEAL HER BEDROOM SECRETS.
Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (RA) reported that Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “Indeed from the worst of people on the Day of Resurrection is one who has marital relations with his wife and then spreads her private matters.” Sahih Muslim (2/1060) No. 1437
RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND
- A wife must obey her husband.
If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. Abu Dawud, Book 5, Hadith #2135
Talq ibn Ali (RA) reported that Allah's Messengerﷺ said: "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his urge then she must go to him even if she is at the stove." Sunan Tirmidhi (3/465) No. 1160, Sunan al-Kubra al-Nasa'i (8/187) No. 8922 and Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah (3/558) No. 17135
Narrated Abu Huraira (RA): Allah's Apostleﷺ said:"If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning." Bukhari, Vol. 4, Number 460
2. DO NOT PREFER ANYONE OVER YOUR HUSBAND.
3. DO NOT BRING PEOPLE YOUR HUSBAND DISLIKES TO THE HOME.
4. DO NOT KEEP FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE YOUR HUSBAND DISLIKES.
5. DO NOT LEND YOUR HUSBAND’S BELONGINGS WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
6. DO NOT LEAVE THE HOME WITHOUT YOUR HUSBAND'S PERMISSION.
7. DO NOT BE IN SECLUSION WITH A NON MAHRAM.
- Not even the brother of the husband.
Rasulullahﷺ stated: “Brother in law is death.” Book 26, Number 5400, Imaam Muslim
8. DO NOT TAKE OFF YOUR HIJAB AND EXPOSE YOURSELF TO NON MAHRAM MEN.
9. DO NOT LET OUT YOUR HUSBAND’S BEDROOM SECRETS.
On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid (RA) who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophetﷺ and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophetﷺ then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent Then I said: "O, Yes! O Allah's Messengerﷺ verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophetﷺ said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports.
ADVICE TO MAKE YOUR HOME A PROPER MUSLIM HOME
1. MARRY A PIOUS PERSON.
- Don't marry a "non-practicing Muslim".
- A “Non-practicing Muslim” is an oxymoron.
- If you are not practicing, you are a kaafir.
- The hujjah (evidence) is when the Sahabas questioned the shahadah of the new reverts to Islam. The following ayah was revealed:
Allahﷻ said in Surah At-Tawbah 9:11
فَإِن تَابُوا وَأَقَامُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ فَإِخْوَانُكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَنُفَصِّلُ الْآيَاتِ لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ
But if they repent, perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give Zakat, then they are your brethren in detail for a people who know. (At-Tawbah 9:11)
- These are the 3 conditions used by Ahmed ibn Hanbal (RA) to refute the idea of a “non-practicing Muslim.
- Also, when the munafiq (hypocrite) speaks, he exposes himself.
Allahﷻ said in Surah Muhammad 47:30
وَلَوْ نَشَاءُ لَأَرَيْنَاكَهُمْ فَلَعَرَفْتَهُم بِسِيمَاهُمْ وَلَتَعْرِفَنَّهُمْ فِي لَحْنِ الْقَوْلِ وَاللهُ يَعْلَمُ أَعْمَالَكُمْ
Had We willed, We could have shown them to you, and you should have known them by their marks, Had We willed, We could have shown them to you, and you should have known them by their marks, but surely, you will know them by the tone of their speech! but surely, you will know them by the tone of their speech! And Allah knows all your deeds. (Muhammad 47:30)
- For example, when the hypocrite speaks, they always trying to cast doubts on Islam by highlighting the negative aspects of Islamic history.
2. SUPERVISE YOUR PARTNER.
- Supervise your partner to make sure he/she is not showing a relapse in matters of their deen or aqeedah.
- You are a mirror for each other.
"A believer is the mirror of his brother. A believer is the brother of another believer. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back." Sunan Abu Dawud (4/280) No. 4918, al-Bukhari in 'Adab al-Mufrad' No. 239
3. INTRODUCE YOUR HOUSEHOLD TO A DARS REGULARLY.
- When there is a dars, the Angels attend.
- However, it should be from an upright scholar.
- Even the kuffar attend dars regularly, so how can you be a believer and not attend?
- Musa (AS) traveled for over 1 month to seek knowledge from Al-Khidr (AS).
4. PRAY IN YOUR HOME.
Ibn 'Umar (RA) reported that the Prophetﷺ said: "Do some of your prayers in your houses and do not make them into graves." al-Bukhari (432) and Muslim (777)
- Don't turn your home into graveyards by not praying in them.
- A family that prays together, stays together.
- When the Rasoolﷺ prayed the fard prayer in the masjid, he would pray the sunnah prayer at home.
5. STAY IN YOUR HOME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
- Muslims are living in darul harb and darul kufr and are surrounded by the fitna of those lands like clubs, casinos, bars, etc.
- When you see fitnah, you should stay in your homes.
The Prophetﷺ said: “Before you there will be commotions like pieces of a dark night in which a man will be a believer in the morning and an infidel in the evening. He who sits during them will be better than he who gets up, and he who gets up during them is better than he who walks, and he who walks during them is better than he who runs.” They (the people) said: What do you order us to do? He replied: “Stay in your homes.” Sunan Abu Dawud (4/101) No. 4262, Musnad Ahmad (4/408 No. 19677, Mustadrak al-Haakim (4/487) No. 8360; al-Haakim said this hadith has Sahih isnaad but they (Two Shaikhs) did not narrate it
6. TEACH YOUR WIFE & CHILDREN ALL THE DUAS CONNECTED TO THE HOME.
- The Dua for eating.
- Bismillah wa a’la barakatillah.
- ‘In the name of Allahﷻ and the blessings of Allahﷻ.’
- The Dua for entering the toilet.
- Allahumma inee a’oodthoo bika minal khubith wal khaba’ith.
- ‘I seek refuge from Allahﷻ from the filthy and dirtiness.’
- The Dua for leaving the toilet
- ‘I ask Your Pardon.’
- The Dua for leaving and returning to the home.
- The Dua for waking up and before sleeping.
7. DON’T ALLOW PET DOGS IN YOUR HOME.
- Having pet dogs in the house is not Makrooh (disliked) but rather haram.
- Every time you keep a pet dog in the home, barakah (blessings) is lost every day.
Abu Talhah (RA) said that Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a portrait.” [al-Bukhari (3225) and Muslim (2106)]
- Some Mutazila say they keep dogs in their home to keep away the Angel of Death. This logic is wrong because dogs only keep away the Angels of Mercy.
8. DON’T HANG PICTURES OF PEOPLE & ANIMALS IN YOUR HOME.
- These creations have a soul.
- You can hang pictures of landscape or Quranic verses.
Narrated By 'Aisha(RA): I purchased a cushion with pictures on it. The Prophetﷺ (came and) stood at the door but did not enter. I said (to him), "I repent to Allahﷻ for what (the guilt) I have done." He said, "What is this cushion?" I said, "It is for you to sit on and recline on." He said, "The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said to them, 'Make alive what you have created.' Moreover, the angels do not enter a house where there are pictures.'" Sahih Bukhari, Vol 7, Book 72, Hadith #840
9. DON’T ALLOW A FORNICATING COUPLE TO STAY IN YOUR HOME.
- Allowing fornicating couples in your home makes your home become a brothel.
10. DON’T ALLOW ALCOHOL & DRUGS TO BE TAKEN IN YOUR HOME.
11. DON’T ALLOW PEOPLE TO SELL DRUGS IN YOUR HOME.
12. DON’T ALLOW GAYS AND LESBIANS TO LIVE IN YOUR HOME.
Ibn 'Abbas (RA) narrated, "That Allah’s Messengerﷺ cursed men who are effeminate and women who take the similitude of men, and said, "Get them out of your homes." Related by Al-Bukhari: Book 10, Hadith 1257
13. HAVE AN ISLAMIC LIBRARY IN YOUR HOME.
- Such as CD’s, DVD’s, Books and Artifacts.
14. DO NOT ARGUE OR BEAT YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.
- The children can turn out to be emotionally wrecked and damaged.
- If there's problems between the spouses, sort them out in the absence of the children.
15. MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN AVOID ANYTHING HARMFUL.
- Harmful things can be reading or viewing harmful material and associating with harmful company.
- Monitor the activities of your children especially online activities.
- The internet can be very dangerous.
- Sometimes children will meet people online who are rapists, murderers and pedophilers.
16. DO NOT CONSUME HARAM FOOD & DRINKS INSIDE YOUR HOME.
- When you have children, you have to be on your best behaviour otherwise they will use it as an argument against you.
- Practice to the best of your ability in order for your home to be a proper Muslim home.
17. RECITE SURAH BAQARAH IN YOUR HOMES TO DRIVE AWAY THE SHAYTAN.
Allah's Messengerﷺ as saying: Do not make your houses as graveyards. Satan runs away from the house in which Surah Baqara is recited. Sahih Muslim, Book 4, Hadith #1707
- It is enough to play Surah Baqara on YouTube and or any radio or digital recorder.
18. DON’T ALLOW HARAM CELEBRATIONS IN YOUR HOME.
- Haram celebrations consist of celebrations like Christmas and New Year’s parties.
- These parties consist of music, dancing and alcohol. Doing so turns your home into a nightclub and not a Muslim home.
- You are allowed to take your spouse out for a meal because of their birthday or anniversary. This is not haram. The most that can be said about birthdays and anniversaries is Makrooh (disliked).
- However, celebrating the birthdays of the Prophetﷺ is haram.
19. BRING YOUR KIDS IN AT MAGHRIB TIME.
- Your child can be easily abducted by the shaytan because he is let loose after Maghrib.
Allah's Apostleﷺ said: "When night falls (or it is evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allahﷻ, for Satan does not open a closed door." Sahih Bukhari, Vol 4, Book 54, Hadith #523